Interested in ways that you can introduce more positive parenting into your home? Here’s a tip: equipping yourself and your child with a robust behavior vocabulary is a great place to start, starting from their first words! If you’d like a free printable, you can grab it in my free resource collection by clicking below.
Once upon a time, I saw a video somewhere on social media that went something like this:
Father of young toddler: “What does a cow say?”
Little girl: “Moo!”
Father: “What does a doggy say?”
Little girl: “Woof! Woof!”
Father: “What does a duck say?”
Little girl: “Quack! Quack!”
Father: “What does Mommy say?”
Little girl: “No, no, no, no, no!”
Poor mommies. It just comes with the territory: constantly setting limits and saying that two-letter word. It’s no wonder that “no” just happens to be one of the first words that enters a young child’s vocabulary.
If you’re a parent, hopefully “no” is not the only word you’re using. The problem with “no” is that it only takes you so far. Not only does the kid eventually wizen up and start fighting the “no” with the formidable “why?”, but it ultimately leaves you with a void.
This is where a positive parenting strategy can be super helpful.
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Unless your kid is content sitting with their arms crossed and smiling (a highly suspicious behavior in my opinion), they have to direct their energy elsewhere whenever they hit a limit. And unless you’ve taught them where to direct that energy, they ultimately end up committing another crime. You say “no” again, they get frustrated, you get frustrated, and on and on and on you go all day until your husband comes home and you hand them over so you can go collapse and order pizza because there’s no way you’re cooking dinner after a day like that.
Not that I’d know what that’s like, cough cough.
We’re three kids into this parenting game, and I think we’ve pulled together some pretty good positive parenting tips to avoid spiraling out of control like this too often. Instead of focusing on the “don’ts,” everybody is happier when we spend the majority of our time on the “dos.” The way we do this is to provide our kids with a positive behavior vocabulary from an early age. When they misbehave, they know how they need to be focusing their energy. And when they do behave, we can praise them for it!
These words also help our kids form good habits, which they’ll hopefully take with them as they grow older. If you want to implement some positive parenting in your discipline strategy, start these behavior words young!
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Photo by delfi de la Rua on Unsplash
10 Positive Behavior Words Every Preschooler Should Know
- Obey
Sound a little intense for a two-year-old? Think again. This is one of the first words we taught our kids in matters of discipline and it’s often one of our first go-tos when dealing with behavior. We expect them to obey. This is different from the popular word “listen.” Listening has to do with paying attention, while obedience has to do with responding appropriately to authority. Our kids are expected to obey parents, babysitters and teachers the first time they are asked (in case you’re wondering, they can ask questions or request alternatives when appropriate, and there is grace involved. It’s not an authoritarian thing).
- Gentle
Kids are rough little creatures. They yank on you and walk all over you and other adults/children/animals. From the time my kids were interactive infants yanking on my hair, I would firmly pull their hand away, say “gentle,” and guide the hand in demonstration of what gentle looks like.
- Kind
I think we all use the word “nice” a lot, but “kind” as well as “loving” more specifically address how children should treat other people. Sharing and taking turns is to be praised as kindness.
- Friendly
I really hope my kids have good manners when they grow up, and those habits start now. We talk with them about making eye contact, smiling and greeting people. You can help shy kids be “friendly” with a wave or a verbal “hi.”
- Respectful
This is such a great word, I wish I’d started it sooner! It applies to quite a lot of discipline situations, from talking back, to manners, to kids cleaning up after themselves. It’s also an expansion of the obedience concept once they are a little older.
- Thankful
Oooooh this is a tough one. It gets to the heart of a lot of attitude problems. While kids might not naturally feel or act thankful, getting them in the habit of saying “thank you” and not complaining is at least pointing their hearts in the right direction.
- Joyful
Like “thankful,” this word is tricky because it addresses a heart issue—but then again, don’t they all? This is a good word to use when kids are just having a bad attitude for no good reason (good for adults too!). It helps them focus on the positive instead of the negative so they can enjoy their surroundings, not to mention make themselves more enjoyable to be around for everyone else.
- Patient
Okay, this was the word of the day once on Sesame Street so I know I’m validated here. A two-year-old might ask you for crackers 5,247 times in 30 seconds and you repeat this word over and over again. It’ll sink in eventually (and help remind you too!).
- Self-Control
In our house we say, “no fits” whenever a tantrum starts. To counter the “no” in that statement, the kids learn to control their emotions and express them appropriately by being introduced to the “self control” concept. Admittedly this is quite difficult for a two-year-old, but for a four-year-old who has been practicing deep breathing and counting backwards whenever he gets worked up, “self-control” is a big accomplishment that is highly praised.
- Helpful
Who doesn’t love a Mommy’s helper? From the time they were little all of my kids beam with pride anytime they figure out how to pour a glass of water or get their own cereal. I’ve heard that they eventually morph into teenagers and that being “helpful” doesn’t hold the same weight in their minds. However, I’ve also been told that if they habitually helpful when they are young, it’s not a battle when they’re older!
Related post: Why We Don’t Pay Our Kids To Do Chores
Don’t forget if you want a printable list of these words so you’ll hve an e, you can access it by clicking below:
Do you use positive parenting behavior words? Share some in the comments or on social media!
It is completely true. Positive attitudes beget positive attitudes. Some kids need more time and instruction on that positivity (I have two glass half empty kids.), but they can learn it.
And just so you know, teens who have grown up taught to be helpful will be very helpful teens. Just this week, I've had a teen offer to make grilled cheese for everyone for lunch, one did a load of laundry, and one emptied the dishwasher. All without a word from me. (Except for the thank you after they did these things, of course)
You seem like you have great kids, Christine, thanks for giving us all hope for future teens!!! 😉
As I read your tips, the fruit of the spirit ran through my mind. Nice job! http://www.rebeccakrusee.com
That’s exactly what i was thinking as i read it over. Teaching our kids the fruits of the spirit right at an early age. ?❤️