What to Do When You Feel Like “Just Roommates” in Marriage

“We’re like two ships passing in the night…”

It’s a phrase I hear surprisingly often when couples are talking about their interactions with one another.

In other words, you coexist around each other. When it comes down to it, there’s not much space or even desire for intimacy. You’re not “in the mood.”

Does it describe your marriage?

Tracey Hocking


It’s easy to coexist when you life is full, whether with babies and sleep deprivation or older kids and their accompanying activity schedules. You and your spouse might even make a pretty good team. But what about not too far down the road (it’s really not), when your kids are grown, and it’s just you and your man, night after night? The divorce rate for empty nesters has been rising steadily.

Some marriages don’t even make it to the empty nest stage. When partners aren’t getting their intimacy needs met within the marriage, it becomes all the more natural to slip into infidelity. Yes, even in Christian marriages—I’ll bet you can name a few yourself.

This is why it’s a strong conviction of mine and my husband’s to fight for our marriage — even when we’re busy and exhausted.

If you’re getting a little nervous about where your marriage is or where it’s headed, don’t worry. It’s never too late to change course and work towards intimacy.

If you’re not okay with being “just roommates,” there are two things you must work on constantly in your marriage relationship.

Continue reading this post by clicking over to Equipping Godly Women: When You and Your Husband Feel More Like Roommates Than Lovers


Leave a comment: How is your marriage lately? Think you could spice it up with these tips?

You might also like these posts:

5 Christian Marriage Intimacy Hacks That You’ll Both Appreciate

Fighting for Your Marriage: 3 Tips for Busy and Exhausted Couples

To strong marriages,

Hey, I'm Gina!

I’m a wife and mom of five, with kids ages toddler to teenager. I’m created in the image of God, made whole in Jesus. In this online space, I help others overcome the overwhelm all of us face when navigating this messy, beautiful journey we call life. Want to join us?

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  1. Steve

    I been married 30 out of that no sex life 27 years yes you read it right I am a guy 57 wife 69 she is older me. I like to have a sex life but she doesn’t care about sex so why try if she isn’t in the mood. Thinking about finding a place to live by myself it has taken its toll on me. Someone give me some advice.

    • Gina Poirier

      Hi Steve, that sounds really tough. I think with that many years of history I would highly recommend you talk to a licensed professional about your relationship as well as your own emotional well-being.

  2. Mermaid

    My husband has no interest in sex. He says he loves me.. we’re born again Christians. He loves the Lord. He 53. I have spoken to him exactly how I feel about wanting more sex. He stays quite he don’t talk much. When I pour out my heart he listens and that’s it. I asked if there’s someone else or if I’m not sexy to him anymore and he said that he lived me and that there isn’t any one in the picture and he finds me very attractive. Says it him not me. He doesn’t have get an erection u less he takes the pill. Help as I feel so lonely


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