Feel like you’re a failure at being a balanced homemaker? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one! If you want a little extra help, be sure to sign up for my free resources below!

I have a lot of formal education under my belt. But very little of it helped prepare me for how I now spend the vast majority of my time: caring for my family and running a household. In other words, being a homemaker.

I didn’t plan for this.

I didn’t study for this.

I could never have imagined any of this.

But this is my life: laundry, dishes, scheduling, crying, diapering, teaching, loving, organizing, crying some more, meal planning, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring—generally chaotic but beautiful “homemaking.”

You don’t have to be a stay-at-home parent to be a homemaker. You just have to have a family and a home. And an intentional homemaker makes a home not just an address, but a place to live. You work to make it peaceful, safe, comfortable, nurturing and welcoming.

So, having said that…I was convinced for a long time that I pretty much fail at this skill constantly.

But as it turns out, I just needed a little shift in my perspective. Mindset encompasses some of the best homemaking tips I’ve known.

3 Reasons You’re “Failing” at Homemaking

1. You set the bar too high.

I’m a recovering perfectionist, which means that every day, I have to wake up and fight to feel okay about who I am, as a homemaker and as a person.

It gets exhausting.

I remember one Saturday morning as a newlywed when I was so excited to be making my husband’s favorite breakfast: blueberry muffins. They smelled wonderful combined with the scent of bacon just starting to crisp.

But I forgot the baking powder.

He was a good sport as he mashed the rubbery concoction between his teeth. But he was also honest that it wasn’t my best work.

I burst into tears because I just couldn’t handle failing him (oh boy, just you wait, young me). And because of that one failure, a part of me felt like I would never get this wife role right.

Ten years later, I don’t cry over blueberry muffins anymore, or really anything that I accidentally destroy during the baking process. But I frequently catch myself getting upset when I screw up—I missed a payment, I forgot an appointment, I stained the carpet, I yelled at the kids…

I have to remind myself that I am not Betty Crocker, Joanna Gaines, or Jesus. And nobody expects me to be. While I have grown and will continue to grow, in the meantime, I am the best homemaker for my family simply because I am me, not because of what I do (or don’t).

Related: 10 Bible Verses for the Perfectionist Mama

2. You don’t know what you don’t know.

When you move into your first house, it’s a little bewildering when you discover all the things that can go wrong with it. Nonetheless, when our basement flooded a few years ago, I was pretty excited to do a remodeling project.

A month into it I wanted to die.

Pinterest failed me. It failed to mention how hard the work would be, and it also failed to mention how to effectively whitewash your fireplace with drippy, splattery water-paint when you generally hate painting and you have three curious and small kids popping in and out of a generally hazardous work area.

I wish sometimes that I just knew all the things. Like how to grow plants without killing them or how to breastfeed without getting mastitis with every single kid, or how to speak in awesome voices when I read aloud.

But I don’t know all the things, and neither do you, and neither does anybody. Sometimes homemakers get the idea in our heads that we have to know how to be the Proverbs 31 woman from the get-go and just exude awesomeness. When really, it’s a better use of our time and energy when we simply admit that we don’t know how to do the things. Because—you simply don’t know what you don’t know!

Once you admit that you don’t know something, you can still decide to learn it. As a newlywed my culinary expertise was limited to frozen burritos. Now I’m actually a decent cook. It took lots of practice, lots of failure and—most importantly—lots of time.

Related: Goal Setting for the Lazy Mom

3. You don’t ask for help.

I have a lot of embarrassing newlywed stories. During our first year of marriage we were working part-time leading a campus ministry. One day, my mentor and I were chatting, and she very gently crushed my soul with these words:

“You seem like you don’t really want help because you already know the answers and don’t ask for input.”

Or something like that.

I have no recollection of how I responded. I think I was picking up the pieces of my jaw on the floor.

Sometimes the most cutting words are the true ones. I think my friend was primarily referring to how I was handling my job in ministry, but it’s an issue that has affected my whole life: I hate feeling needy and I hate asking for help.

I think it’s a rare genetic condition called…pride maybe?

Titus 2:3–5 is perhaps one of the better-known passages on mentorship/discipleship, particularly as it relates to women, but in my understanding it’s all over the book. Humans are generally dumb. Humans who are older and more experienced are generally less dumb. So maybe we younger humans should seek the older humans’ guidance.

Personally, while I enjoy the creature comforts of the modern era, one thing we really lack is the relational support our ancestors had. We’re in single-family homes, working our tails off, isolated from community, trying to hack our way through homemaking and life in general. Getting help from wise mentors takes effort and persistence.

How To Not Fail at Homemaking

I should actually stop writing here because the truth is you and I will both continue to fail at homemaking, quite spectacularly as a matter of fact. Hopefully by now you’re cool with that.

Having said that, however, you can make it a little less painful. First, find a mentor. It’s actually not that hard—it could be your mom or some lady from church who is just aching to offer her wisdom. You just have to look, and ask. And it doesn’t have to be a formal arrangement. Invite your neat freak friend over and ask her to help you clean out that weird cabinet under the kitchen island.

Second, do some study and soul-searching about what it means to be a homemaker. Don’t know where to start?  The Bible is usually a good place :). Check out my Woman of Strength devotional, which you can find in my free resource collection.

Related: Daily Disciplines for Every Homemaker

Do you feel like your “failing”? Which of these homemaking tips will help you most?

Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information.

It’s that time of year. Your inbox gets flooded with the greatest thing since the invention of the internet (according to a gajillion bloggers). The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle.

What is it? Is it really all it’s cracked up to be? Is it worth it?

Let me set you straight on what the 2019 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is, what it isn’t, what I like about it and what I don’t. You can decide for yourself if it’s worth it.

Related: 3 Homemaking Tips When You Feel Like You’re Failing

What Is the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle?

Ultimate Bundles is a family-owned business that works with online influencers to package “bundles” of digital resources on different topics. The bundles are offered at a reduced price for a limited time.

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is one of the most popular bundles. It includes a wide variety of products that fit under the loose umbrella of “homemaking.” Categories you’ll find in the 2019 version include parenting, organization, self-care, decor, creativity, marriage and faith.

When you purchase the bundle, you get immediate access to 104 digital products, including 30 eCourses & videos, 28 eBooks, 25 printable packs, 16 workbooks, three summits and two membership sites. 

There are also several bonus offers you get for physical products and subscriptions (more on this below).

If that sounds overwhelming, it can be. This is the fourth year I’ve gotten the bundle and when I look back, I can honestly say I probably haven’t made the most use out of it. However, I can also say that I’ve easily gotten my money’s worth because of the low price point.

Who Is the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle For?

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is primarily for women with kids in the home. While you might still get some value out of it if you’re an empty-nester or pre-kids, you’ll probably enjoy it more if your kids are at home.

If you’re not a full-time “homemaker” (i.e. if you have a career outside the home), there are still plenty of resources you may find helpful.

While it’s not an exclusively Christian collection, this bundle does contain multiple products from Christian creators. So don’t be surprised when you dig into a marriage or parenting resource if it offers a biblical perspective.

You’ll get value out of this bundle if you’re interested in developing your home management skills and cultivating the relationships in your family. Note that it does take a significant amount of time to work through it in earnest. You’ll get out of it what you put into it.

You won’t get a lot out of this bundle if you’re the type of person who likes to have learning tools but doesn’t actually use them. If you have a laundry list of products you’ve invested in but haven’t used, then don’t add this to your plate. This bundle is ideal for people who are eager and ready to learn.

Pros & Cons

Let’s dig a little deeper and figure out if this resource is worth it for YOU.

2019 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle Pros

• It’s cheap. And not in the poor-quality sense; it’s really inexpensive considering what you get. There are many offers in the bundle prices worth more than the $29.97 price point (including my own eCourse, Peaceful, Patient Mama).
• It’s curated. I hate wasting my time searching for quality material online, so it’s nice to have somewhere I can go with products that have been vetted.
• It exposes you to new influencers and creators. I always find people I am excited to follow whenever I dig into a bundle, and this year is no exception.
• It exposes you to new ideas. Often there is some skill that is taught in a bundle that I didn’t even know I was interested in or needed to work on. So far this year I’ve found some gems about baking, decluttering and even skincare!
• There’s a happiness guarantee. If you feel uncomfortable with the pressure to buy within a short time period, you can always return it within 30 days if you change your mind.
• There are multiple, highly valuable eCourses this year worth more than the cost of the bundle. Compared to previous years, these types of products really stood out to me (I’ll share my favorites below). I like eCourses because I can listen to the audio/video while multi-tasking.
• It’s a great opportunity to get deals on gifts. With the bonus offers you can get goodies like journals, soaps, prints, children’s books and more. These are perfect for Mother’s Day, kids’ birthdays, or for teachers at the end of the school year.

2019 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle Cons

• It costs money. I mean, duh. You can get a lot of free stuff online these days.
• Product quality varies. I haven’t found anything that is complete garbage, but I can tell which creators have invested in high-quality equipment and services and which haven’t. (I totally get it! I don’t have a huge budget for that stuff.) Sometimes it can be a bit distracting when you come across grammatical errors, poor video or sound quality, or technical issues. It’s not a deal-breaker for me, but just something to be aware of.
• The parenting resources are primarily for moms of little kids. The products available are great if you have preschoolers; I just wasn’t interested in most of them at this stage in my life.
• I wasn’t wowed by the faith section. In the past it has had some resources I loved, and while there are still some goodies in there this year (like my eCourse!), you might be disappointed if devotionals, etc. are all you’re looking for. HOWEVER, there is an additional mini-bundle you can get for $7 more (more on this below).
• The total value is questionable. I know from experience that pricing digital products can be…tricky. When you look at the total value of the bundle, that’s the sum of the listed prices of the individual products. But after going through many of the products, I think some of the resources were overpriced. On the other hand, some were underpriced! So maybe it evens out…but keep that in mind if numbers are important to you.
• There is some overlap in content. I mean, how many organization, meal planning and homeschooling strategies do you really need? However, this can also be seen as a pro. If you don’t like one approach to a topic, you can try another.

My Favorite Resources in the 2019 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle

I’ve had the opportunity over the past several weeks to review the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle. While I haven’t tried every product, I have tried a lot! Here are the resources I found the most valuable:

Peaceful, Patient Mama: Biblical Anger Management eCourse by Gina M Poirier ($47.00)

Yes, this is a shameless plug. But I’m excited to offer you my latest eCourse, which addresses the #1 issue that moms tell me they struggle with: patience.

I’ve put together a unique combination of biblical teaching, scientific research and self-reflection tools to help you be the peaceful mom God created you to be. The value of this course alone is worth more than the whole bundle.

The 5 Day Clutter Shakedown eCourse by Dana K White ($40.00)

I’m not a newbie to decluttering, but I’ve struggled (yes, even after trying the KonMari method.) This course was refreshing, funny and practical—and using Dana’s strategies, I decluttered my very scary garage in just a few days.

If you liked the decluttering challenge last week, you’ll love the extended version. Once again, this course alone is worth more than the price of the bundle.

Ultimate Baking Bootcamp eCourse by Heather Perine ($19.00)

This was a surprise to me! I’m an experienced baker, so I was shocked to learn how many things I’m doing wrong! (Are you sure you know how to measure flour the right way?)

What made this course stand out to me was Heather’s scientific expertise. She explained not only what techniques to use, but why they were important. In my opinion, this course is undervalued at $19. I’d pay somewhere closer to the $50–$100 range.

Bust Out of the Makeup Rut eCourse by Alison Lumbatis ($29.00)

I follow Alison as a style blogger, so I was surprised to see this offer, and perhaps a little skeptical. But I like her, so I gave it a whirl. After all, I don’t know anyone else who does makeup tutorials for people who aren’t, I dunno, half my age.

Loved it. I didn’t even know I was in a makeup and skincare rut, but now I’m convinced that it’s time for eye cream, and that I have been putting powder on incorrectly for my whole life. Ahem. Needless to say, I will be watching her videos again. (Bonus: she’s very charming.)

Fill Your Cup: A Grace-filled eCourse to help you pour in so you can flow out by Victoria Osborn ($37)

Biblical self-care is my jam, and Victoria must be cut from the same cloth. She shares her self-care journey from the heart and offers the biblical reasons why it’s important, plus how to practice it.

IMPORTANT: this course is only available in the Invest in Your Faith Mini Bundle, which you can purchase for an additional $7 at checkout. The mini bundle comes with several other resources. I think this course alone makes the additional cost worth it.

What’s the Deal with the Bonuses?

In addition to the digital products you receive in the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle, you have the opportunity to order bonuses. These come in the form of physical products or trial memberships.

Note that if you order a bonus product, there may be restrictions. While some coupons work for the whole store, others are only for a limited selection of products, and up to a certain price.

You will also have to pay shipping costs (usually ranging $6-$7 in my experience). In other words, you might order a bunch of “free” soap, but you gotta pay the postman.

The shipping costs can add up if you take advantage of multiple offers. The bonuses expire June 6, 2019, so you don’t have a lot of time if you’re trying to space out your orders for budget purposes.

Some of the bonuses I’ve tried in the past and recommend are Orglamix eye shadow, a credit at Cultivate What Matters, free children’s books from BookRoo and Around the World Stories audiobooks.

I’ve ordered several of this year’s bonuses and will be unboxing them on Facebook and Instagram this week if you’re into that kind of thing. 🙂

What’s the Catch?

There’s always a catch, right? Why is there so much that costs so little? What are the contributors to this bundle gaining by offering their products on the cheap?

Personally, I am contributing my eCourse to this bundle because of the exposure it offers me. While I’m not getting the income I would if everyone actually paid for the course in full, I’m nonetheless getting my work in front of over 10,000 people (if last year’s sales are any indication).

That’s worth it to me!

What’s more, it’s an opportunity to present my followers with a killer deal—and essentially offer my eCourse at a discount with a bunch of bonuses. It’s my mission to offer you resources that help you find peace and purpose in your everyday life. This bundle fits the bill.

The catch is that it’s only available for six days. Otherwise we’d all go broke ;).

Is the 2019 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle Worth It?

The answer to this question is, of course, up for you to decide. Hopefully I’ve painted you a pretty clear picture about what you’ll get if you decide to get the bundle.

Over the past several years, I’ve always found the bundle to be well worth the price, even if I only use a couple of products. This year is no different.

Click below to grab your bundle before this offer expires on 5/6/19.

Wondering whether the KonMari method of decluttering really works, especially in the long term? I first discovered it over three years ago—here are my long-term results.

Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information.

Once upon a time, there was a regular mama with two little kids, a husband and a nice, middle-class house.

They had lots and lots of stuff. So much stuff, in fact, that Mama wanted to pull her hair out. She sat at her dining room table in a sea of markers, crayons, coloring books, blocks, stuffed animals and dried-out Play-Doh wondering if this was just her lot in life for the next couple of decades.

If you hadn’t guessed, that was me, circa 2012. It was around that time that I started thinking seriously about exploring minimalism. Convicted about the sheer volume of our possessions, I tried to purge them.

And then we moved on with our lives. We had another kid. Our belongings reproduced like rabbits.

Defeat. (Been there?)

Related: 3 Homemaking Tips When You Feel Like You’re Failing

I knew why I wanted to declutter but I didn’t know how to do it. If only someone magical would hold my hand and walk me through it.

Enter Marie Condo.

I received The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo for Christmas in 2015. I read it from cover to cover and was convinced that this was the answer to my clutter dilemma. I dubbed 2016 the year of tidying up in the Poirier household.

Could this be the way to not only reduce the clutter, but keep it away for good?

What Is the KonMari Method?

Marie Kondo was popular long before her Netflix series, Tidying Up, was released at the beginning of 2019. “KonMari” is a shortened version of her name.

The KonMari method is her unique approach to decluttering that involves systematically going through your possessions category by category, keeping only what “sparks joy.”

If you watch the show, you get snippets of how this process works. Ideally, you’re supposed to have a “decluttering marathon” over the course of a few weeks or months, so that you can get down to the bare bones of your living space.

Supposedly, once you complete this process, you should be able to maintain a state of less clutter in your home perpetually.

Does it work?

In my experience, the KonMari method helped jumpstart my decluttering process and decreased the amount of junk we had in our home. I noticed a significant shift in my wellbeing, especially the first year.

I’ll admit…I didn’t complete the full process the way Kondo recommends. I didn’t take the time to go through every single category in the house, particularly the sentimental items and photos that are shoved into boxes under the stairs. I burned out somewhere in the “komono” category (miscellaneous items).

Further down the road, I haven’t found it easy to keep the clutter at bay. At the beginning of 2019, I decided I needed to go through the whole house again. (This time, I chose not to go by category, but by room.)

So overall, did the KonMari method help me? Yes.

Did it solve all of my decluttering problems forever? No.

Is it the only way to declutter? No.

The KonMari method is a great way to help you get a new mindset about your possessions and has some practical techniques to declutter. It is helpful if you don’t know where to begin. I recommend trying it if you feel like you’re drowning in stuff and need a fresh start.

Do Christians and KonMari Mix?

If you couldn’t tell by my tagline, I write to a primarily Christian audience. There is some discussion within Christian circles about whether the KonMari method is a godly approach to minimizing the clutter in your home.

Marie Kondo doesn’t claim to be Christian; in fact, as she explains in the book, she comes from a Shinto background. If you do a little digging about what this means, her method makes a whole lot more sense.

In the Shinto belief system, everything has a spirit—yes, even your smelly socks. When you treat everything as something that is “alive,” you have much respect for your home and everything in it (hence why you also thank an item for its service once you decide to discard it).

Marie Kondo exhibits some of her beliefs on the Netflix show, like when she bows her head and “greets” the house. Now, there are a couple of ways you can take this in.

• You might find it extremely uncomfortable to watch or even demonic.
• You might observe that she is from a different culture and choose to learn some of her techniques through the lens of your own belief system.

It’s good to be discerning about the spiritual practices we follow in our homes and families. But there is also a ton that Christian families can learn from Marie Kondo—such as family discipleship (yes!) and gratitude. I loved this podcast, which delved into this topic thoroughly.

Personally, I have found Marie Kondo’s tools to be practical and flexible enough to use with my own belief system.

The Beginning of My KonMari Journey

At the beginning of her book, Kondo encourages you to write down “why you want to be tidy” before you start implementing this system in your home. On December 27, 2015 I wrote:

I want to wake up each morning and go to bed each night peacefully, so I can focus on God and my family instead of my life’s distractions.

The hope was that by tidying up my life I would also tidy up my thoughts (and my prayer life!)

I decided to spend a couple of hours each weekend focusing on one category of possessions in our home. I hoped to be done by summer.

I chronicled this process in detail when I first started my blog in 2016. I decided to take some of those highlights and summarize them here.

Step 1: Clothing

The first category Kondo recommends tidying up is clothing. I went through my clothes, my kids’ clothes and our linens. I left my husband to his own devices, which wasn’t terribly difficult because he probably had the least amount of clothes anyway.

This process took about six weeks. We easily got rid of most of the clothes we owned.

The method involves taking every scrap of clothing in your house and piling it all in the same place. You then handle each item individually and test how you feel about it. You keep it if you love it and you trash it if you don’t.

I did my own clothes first and then worked together with my boys (my daughter was too young at the time). Kids’ clothes are daunting because if you’re like me you not only have their current sets of clothes, but also the stuff they’ve grown out of and the stuff they have yet to grow into. We tackled it all.

Even if you don’t go through the whole house the KonMari way, just doing your clothes is worth the effort. Here are some of the initial thoughts I had in the weeks after we tidied our clothes:

Tidying is contagious. I talked about it enthusiastically with my friends and family. While my husband wasn’t following the method exactly, he got inspired to clean up his “man cave” area in the basement. He was very happy with it. Other friends bought the book themselves and started sorting their clothes too.

I had a strange attachment to my possessions that I wasn’t aware of. Why is it so hard to throw out something that you haven’t worn in five years? Kondo says that you’re either holding on too much to the past (the outfit from that special event), or you’re anxious about the future (I’ll keep it just in case I need it). If it has served you well, even if it made you happy for a brief moment, be thankful and let it go.

I don’t miss the things I discarded. I’d forgotten that I even owned most of them anyway. If I really feel like I need something that I threw out, I can go get another one. This hasn’t happened yet.

Tidy drawers really make me happy. I’ve shown them off on more than one occasion. Super weird.

I can find anything I need in a snap. I can also tell if something is missing because if it’s not in its designated spot, it’s probably not in the house.

I have all that I need. I have less than half the clothes I used to, but I find that it is easier to get dressed in the morning because whatever I spot in the drawer is something I like.

Kids can be tidy. The key is having drawers that aren’t overstuffed, with clothes that are easy to find. One of the doubts I had about KonMari was if the method would work for families. Kondo has had many clients who are parents, and she simply says that kids as young as three can be taught how to be tidy.

I don’t need to keep everything given to us. I have an awesome friend with two older boys who had given us all of their old clothes, many of which my kids had yet to grow into. These clothes were generally in great condition. I decided to go through them and pick out the best of the selection and then get rid of the rest. What used to be a huge mess at the back of the closet became a much smaller volume of apparel that I strategically organized by size. When my oldest moved up a size, I could pull out a full wardrobe for him, ready to go. I donated the rest.

It’s easier to be generous. The day after I finished sorting all of the kids’ past, present and future clothes, I had a friend come over with her kids. They wanted to play in the snow but her oldest son didn’t have snow pants. I happened to know that I had a pair his size that my kids hadn’t grown into yet, so he borrowed them. While I was thinking about it, I gave her a big pile of clothes in sizes too big for my boys—the ones that would have been sitting uselessly in the closet and probably wouldn’t have been worn.

Donations are ready to go. I took all of the clothes we didn’t want and sorted through them. The ones in poor condition were donated to a clothes recycling bin, while the ones in good condition were sorted by size and put in bins.

Storage methods can be trial and error. One of the things I initially didn’t like about Kondo’s book was that it leaves a lot of room for interpretation when it comes to how to organize your belongings. I think she did this because your method largely depends on what your personal belongings are like and what type of storage space you have.

Step 2: Books

Step 2 in the KonMari method of tidying up is books.

To declutter, Kondo says you are supposed to pile your books on the floor, pick them up one at a time and assess your feelings about them. As always, if they “spark joy” you should keep them, and if they don’t you should toss them. DO NOT open the books.

Naturally, this gives book-lovers a bit of a heart attack.

At some point in my young adulthood, I recall saying that one of my life goals was to have a massive library. It would be a way to showcase my love of learning, right?

Nonetheless, I decided to put some trust in my favorite new Japanese friend and follow her advice. Do these spark joy?

With a busy schedule, it took me several weeks to complete this. I did the adult books in one session, the homeschool books in another, the baby books in another and the older kid books in another. I also quickly went through cookbooks and sheet music.

Here’s what our family (well, mostly I) learned from the process:

We had a lot of garbage books. You know, the ones you pick up but never finish, the ones that are water-damaged, the ones that you keep after college because you think they have valuable information—but ten years later you can’t remember a thing about them (and have no interest in relearning). These are easy to get rid of.

It’s okay to throw away old books. We had a lot of books that were well-loved but falling apart, like supposedly indestructible baby board books. As Kondo says, thank them for their service and say goodbye. They can go to the garbage can—it’s okay! No one will be offended.

Keep the books you’d want to lend. This might go against KonMari’s advice because I wouldn’t necessarily read these books again myself. But one of the reasons I love to have books is because I love to lend them. Ask my friends; whenever someone is trying to solve a problem I will often say, “Oh, have you read this book…?” And then I go grab it. But then again it might not go against the KonMari method after all. It gives me joy to lend books. So I keep them.

Aesthetics matter. I’ve been inspired by Modern Mrs. Darcy, who regularly displays her gorgeous book collections on Instagram. Her books are often color coordinated! This goes against my intuition because I want logical order but dang, her bookshelves look pretty. Thus, it’s okay to keep a book just because it looks nice.

Ditch the educational stuff you don’t use. As homeschooolers, we had have stockpiles of educational material. Most of it was junk that I acquired at used book sales or has been given to me. At one time I thought that it would be handy to have a deep pile of resources, but they’re not handy if you don’t use them! It’s a relief to know what we like and what we don’t—and it’s okay to pass along the stuff we don’t.

Double-check with the spouse. This decluttering project was mostly my thing. My husband was supportive, but I did the bulk of the work. The challenge with books is that many books are shared. When I went through our shelves, I took everything off as per the KonMari instructions. First I kept the books I knew I wanted as well as the books I knew Marc liked. Then I left a pile of books for him that I wasn’t sure about. At his convenience, he went through them and pulled out the ones he wanted to keep. It was no-drama.

About those books you “might” read. Kondo says to trash them, but I couldn’t pull the trigger on all of them. I have a handful of adoption books and a few others that were given to me as gifts. I am not afraid to get rid of books now, so I can revisit them later (she does say that you can do this to a certain extent while you hone your tidying skills).

Kids do better with less. Prior to decluttering, we had a ton of kids’ books and I was afraid that I would be harming my children by getting rid of any of them. But the truth was, they couldn’t find half of them anyway! In addition to the falling-apart books, I discarded the ones that they had outgrown or were just not good reads. You know, like the free paperbacks you get with a kids’ meal. When they had fewer books that were much more neatly organized—shocking—my kids started reading more!

Do you really need all those cookbooks?Um, no. Especially these days. I kept my favorite Betty Crocker as well as a couple more that I refer to regularly.

Sheet music—ditch the mess. I have played the piano since I was seven years old and carried around all of my old music with me for a couple of decades. It was time to say goodbye, especially since I don’t play a lot anymore anyway. I kept hymns and Christmas music, which I occasionally play at church, as well as my favorite classical and fun music to play. I had a huge basket full of music that I hadn’t looked at in years. I never missed it.

Step 3: Paper

I didn’t chronicle this part of the journey because frankly, there wasn’t a lot to say. I had been moving towards digitizing a lot of my paper anyway, so this was one of the easiest steps (not including sentimental items like old cards and journals).

Paper doesn’t exactly “spark joy” for a lot of people so with the KonMari method you simply appreciate having what you need and no more. I don’t follow her system to the T, but to this day I contain most of my paper in a simple filing system.

I also have folders stored away for adoption receipts, tax returns for the past three years, and records like titles, social security cards and passports. That’s it!

Step 4: Komono (Miscellaneous)

The komono category covers everything from toys to tools to bath products to small appliances.

This was the most daunting stage of the decluttering process and took the longest. It’s also where I lost steam somewhere mid-2016. I stopped chronically my journey online.

However, I did make significant progress in certain areas of my house—particularly with my kids’ toys and the kitchen. I wrote down some thoughts about decluttering toys, which I’ll note here.

My husband called it “the kid creep.” Like none of our space was really our own. What’s more, it was overwhelming for the kids when I said, “Time to clean up!” They didn’t know where to start or where to end.

The toy decluttering process took a long time, and even now I always feel like I can do more. BUT I can say confidently say the first iteration of the process eliminated the majority of our toy clutter. I could breathe again; I felt like I had grown-up space; my kids weren’t overwhelmed by their stuff. What’s more, since then, they have been much better at cleaning up after themselves.

If you’re sick of toy clutter, you don’t have to put up with it. It will take some work, but trust me friend, it is soooooo worth the effort.

We were remodeling over a couple of months, so a lot of our stuff was floating around the house with no permanent home and giving me more anxiety. I recall at least three separate occasions when I piled all of the toys from a particular location and “KonMaried” them. My kids helped quite a bit because I wanted them to learn how to choose to keep only what they truly like. But a couple of times I went solo…because the task was a little overwhelming for them.

We threw out A LOT: probably at least half. I only kept those toys which have resale/giveaway value, which I stockpiled with all of the other former clutter…in the garage.

Once we had sorted or discarded every plaything in the house, I wanted to simplify how we organized them. I moved the vast majority of the toys to our newly remodeled family room. It worked to store them in small bins that were easy to access, which made finding toys as well as cleaning them up simple.

I don’t recommend “overorganizing” toys because they will just get mixed up again anyway. If you have older kids who would like to keep a certain category separate, then do that (we do with LEGOS). Otherwise, don’t create more stress than necessary. Make your system simple!

A little tip if you have toddlers: store their toys in small bins that are easy to carry. Take one bin out during playtime; then put toys back in the bin and put the bin away. Even after my kids got older, I kept a small bin that I can take out whenever we have young guests.

Step 5: Sentimental Items

Confession: I didn’t really attempt this step.

Not the KonMari way, anyway. You know how I said we were remodeling during this process? It was because our basement had a flood.

I had to dig our old stuff (photos, keepsakes, etc.) out from the closet under the stairs, and we did go through some of it. But I didn’t have time to truly assess each item when we were also dealing with…umm…everything else.

Most of our sentimental items aren’t taking up a ton of space, and they’re not bothering me. From time to time I get a whim to go through a few of them (like when I’m looking for something). I think we’re cool with this.

3 Years Later: What’s Still Working

Going through all of your possessions is a massive undertaking. But doing it thoroughly really did help us set a foundation for a simpler home.

I don’t think I’m going to win any awards for the tidyness of my house, but there are a few KonMari-inspired systems that have aged well over a few years:

Clothing

Storing clothes to make them more visible has made a huge difference in being able to keep a simple wardrobe of items we like that are easy to find. I have been pretty consistent about going through everyone’s clothes seasonally. I don’t take them all out and hold them like I did the first time; we do a quick assessment and decide what to get rid of.

Storage Space

Marie Kondo’s approach is to use small boxes and baskets to organize storage space. It takes some trial and error to figure out what works, but whenever I find I need to reorganize a space, I do this.

Kitchen

I don’t remember exactly when I tackled my kitchen; all I know is that this step changed my life. I got rid of a lot of dishes and gadgets we weren’t using, reorganized the cupboards and cleared a lot of counter space. Kondo actually recommends you keep almost nothing on your countertops! While I’m not quite there, I love all the extra space I have for food preparation.

Our dining room area is also much more livable.

Mindset

While I am not constantly thinking about what “sparks joy” as I go about our home, I am much more mindful about trying only to keep what we need and like. I’m quicker to throw out what we don’t need whenever I see it or whenever I decide that it’s time to go on a decluttering spree again.

3 Years Later: What Hasn’t Worked

It might be because I didn’t follow the KonMari system 100%, but there are some parts of her philosophy that did not help me much over time.

Managing Discarded Items

When I first started decluttering, I didn’t cart everything off to the donation center. I wanted to keep some of it to give away to friends and family, to save for younger siblings, or to sell.

And about once a year, I have a garage that looks like a nightmare. I tell myself I’m going to have a garage sale, but I get overwhelmed and decide to donate it instead.

I know what Marie Kondo would say. She would tell me to just get rid of it in the first place. Maybe I should.

Clutter Maintenance

Once you go through your whole home and assess what sparks joy and what doesn’t, you don’t want to do it again, ever. While I’ve had success maintaining some areas, like my clothes, most kitchen appliances and books (thanks to Kindle), we’ve struggled in other areas. Like kids’ stuff.

It’s better than it was. But I find it hard to maintain the tidiness of kids’ toys, clothes, books and games without some sort of decluttering calendar (which KonMari doesn’t offer).

That’s why I wrote out a decluttering plan in my PowerSheets this year.

Does the KonMari Method Work?

To sum it up, I’ve found a lot of value in the KonMari decluttering method over the past three years, even if it wasn’t a perfect system for us.

It helped our family systematically go through most of our possessions to set a simpler foundation in our home. It has also helped me have a healthier mindset about our possessions and work towards having less stuff.

Over the long term, it hasn’t been as helpful at providing a system to keep the clutter at bay. But with my shift in mindset, I’ve been able to experiment with other approaches to clutter maintenance.

It’s worth trying if you’re as sick and tired of mess as I was. Maybe it won’t solve all of your problems, but it will point you in the right direction.

I do recommend reading the book, as it goes into much more detail than the show about how to tackle the categories in your home.

Have you tried the KonMari method? Did it work for you? What other approaches to decluttering have you found helpful?

If you enjoyed this post and want to learn more about living more intentionally in your home and family, be sure to sign up for my free resources for Christian moms.

Thinking about a fresh start when it comes to making a healthy meal plan for your family?

A couple of months ago, I was thinking pretty hard about how to better prepare healthy meals and snacks for my people. I.e. something besides chips, macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets.

(Don’t judge 😉)

If you’ve ever stood in front of your fridge, hoping that this time when you opened the door, you’d find thawing meat, or maybe a little inspiration, or even a ready-made meal you miraculously forgot about, I totally get where you’re coming from.

But it takes more than wishful thinking to make the changes we want. Healthy meals don’t just happen!

You have to find healthy recipes everyone likes, make a list, buy the ingredients, and then actually prepare it (rather than let that poor spinach wilt in the dark corners of the fridge).

Otherwise, your good intentions—and money, and perhaps your sanity—go out with the garbage.

Want to know the #1 rule for eating healthier? A good plan.

When you know what’s for dinner every day, you’ll be more efficient, less stressed, and you’ll have more margin in your life. While meals won’t throw themselves together, you might be surprised at how much easier (and even enjoyable) it feels.

After a lot of trial and error, I think I’m finally getting into a sustainable rhythm with healthy meal planning.

And what’s more, I believe that simple, realistic meal planning is attainable for everyone. Yep, even when you’re really, really busy.

Related: 3 Homemaking Tips When You Feel Like You’re Failing

Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information.

Our Meal Planning Jumpstart

When it came to meal planning, we had been in a rut for a while. 

I tried different meal planning systems, but they always felt too complicated. I’d end up making a bunch of new recipes that were received with mixed results. A lot of food would get thrown away, and I would get burned out from trying to do too much.

I needed a different system that I could easily customize with my family’s preferences that was simple to implement. When I have a good process in place, I don’t have to waste the mental energy and loads of time on keeping my people alive on something besides chicken nuggets.

So the timing of the release of this collection of meal planning resources couldn’t have been better.

Using some of the resources I discovered, here are three hacks I discovered that completely streamlined my meal planning process.

1. Make a Master List of Favorite Meals

I was surprised that when I sat down and wrote out the recipes I was already using, we already have nearly a month’s worth of dinners that my family likes! (I thought it was more like five). Next to each meal I made a list of ingredients that I can easily refer to whenever I’m planning out menus for the week.

Related: The Ultimate Time Management Guide for Moms

In addition to dinners, I made lists of lunches, snacks and breakfasts that are grab-and-go or can be put together in about five minutes. (Again, I was surprised how many ideas there were besides PB&J sandwiches and Cheerios.) I also listed some breakfasts that are more time-intensive but that I can make in large batches on the weekends. Lastly, I’m working on a running list of recipes (mostly breakfast and snacks) that I can make ahead and freeze.

Voila! I posted all of those on the side of the fridge, and we have lots of nutritious ideas for breakfasts, lunches and snacks that keep my people happy and don’t make my brain hurt.

2. Create a Food Inventory

Once I made the master meal list, it was super easy to create a list of food items I always want to have on hand in the refrigerator, freezer and pantry. These are the items that make easy meals and snacks and are ingredients I frequently need for our favorite meals (diced tomatoes, onions, spices, etc.) I simplified my grocery list instantly.

And of course, this prompted me to clean out and reorganize my fridge, freezer and pantry. Glad that’s over with.

I’m also keeping a list by the refrigerator with the current leftovers and the dates they were made so that I can try and consume everything or freeze it before it goes bad. This has gone a long way preventing us from wasting food.

3. Block Out Time for Planning, Prep and Shopping

One of the biggest hurdles I had to healthy meals was just feeling burned out with overcomplicated recipes for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I needed a simpler plan that I could iterate each week without thinking too hard and wouldn’t require a ton of time.

To combat overwhelm, I looked carefully at my schedule and blocked out time for meal planning, prep and shopping each week.

Here’s my new system that has worked beautifully:

• Over the weekend: plan the following week’s meals and grocery list, order groceries online. Try 1–2 new recipes a week from the Healthy Meal Planning Bundle.
• Monday: pickup groceries, organize refrigerator.
• Weekday evenings: make dinner from recipes I’m mostly familiar with. Chop most of the vegetables for the whole week in one sitting Have the kids each help one night (we’re excited to do the kids cooking e-course that comes in the bundle!). Make large batches for leftovers.
• Friday: have a 2-hour baking and prep session for breakfasts, breads and snacks.
• Saturday morning: make cooked breakfast with leftovers.

I’m excited about this system because it is tailored to my life and my schedule. That’s why I am love, love, loving this plan: I’ve tailored it to work for me!

If you’re in a place where meal planning is overwhelming and you feel stuck, don’t give up! Whether you need to tweak the system you already use, or you need to start from scratch, the Healthy Meal Planning Bundle has everything you need if you want to kickstart your year with healthier family meals.

Plus, it has paid for itself multiple times over in the money I saved on groceries!

Questions About the Healthy Meal Planning Bundle

Are the recipes any good (will my kids like them)? Or do they taste like cardboard?

The recipes in the Healthy Meal Planning Bundle have been curated from many of my favorite food bloggers and online chefs. Many of these recipe creators are also parents and know your kids will eat healthy food if it actually tastes good.

I can’t vouch that EVERY recipe is good, but I’ve gone through enough of them to know that this is a very kid-friendly deal. Trust me, I’d know 🙃

Are the meals quick and easy to make? 

Yes, they are. Otherwise I’m out.

We’re gluten-free (or vegan, or paleo, or keto, etc.) at our house. Will I find recipes that fit our family?

Yes! We eat mostly plant-based food in our home, so this was a concern I had as well. One really nifty feature is that you can search the recipes by category, food allergen, and health goals in one convenient, clickable index. They’ve made sure to include plenty for every style of eating and with over 1000 in the collection, there are plenty to suit every dietary need.

What exactly do I get in this bundle?

This bundle is a collection of 12 eCookbooks, 5 eBooks, 5 eCourses and printables. Inside this bundle, you will find resources with over 1000 recipes, ready-made meal plans, planning tips, and printables—all for $37.

What if it’s awful and I hate it?

Although Ultimate Bundles has an extremely low return rate, there are some people who it doesn’t work for. That’s why they offer a 100% happiness guarantee. If you don’t love it, just email [email protected] to ask for a full refund within 30 days of purchase.

I bought it last year. Should I buy it again?

The team at Ultimate Bundles used feedback from last year’s customers to make this version even better. They created a clickable, convenient index of all new recipes so you can find the recipes and ingredients you’re looking for more easily. Nutritional information is included for every recipe. And all recipes are now standardized in beautiful, well-formatted and easy to use digital cookbooks.

Convinced? Check out the Healthy Meal Planning Bundle here:

Still Not Sure How You Can Make A Healthy Meal Plan for Your Family?

I would love to hear your questions and comments on this! What are your biggest obstacles to healthy meal planning as a busy mom?

When I asked my readers what they needed the most help with when it comes to motherhood, one word that came through time and again was clear:

Balance.

“Balance between work and home.”

“Balance between being a wife and mom.”

“Balance as a wife, mom, homemaker and just being myself.”

“Balancing my time with God with all of the other demands.”

“Balancing it all and not burning out!”

I get it. Adulting is hard.

I think a lot of us have the myth in our heads about the “perfectly balanced woman.” She is always perfectly present and pleasant for her family, runs a tight ship of a home, always pleases her husband and of course does her work flawlessly and on time. Not to mention she is super-spiritual, has memorized the whole Bible and leads her joyful, obedient children in prayer throughout the day.

Mrs. Perfect probably runs a business while homeschooling 17 kids. And she never gets sick because of her all-natural medicine cabinet and fully stocked kitchen of organic whole foods and supplements. She also works out every day.

I might be getting carried away…but maybe not. You tell me.

There’s probably someone out there doing at least one of those things better than you. When you’re unable to keep up with that standard, does it make you feel…out of balance?

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The Need to Compare

Hopefully you’re aware that comparison with other humans rarely ends well, and that this wife/mother/homemaker journey (and life in general) is a grace-filled path. So you know that, of course, no one is expecting you to be perfect.

Coming from a thoroughbred perfectionist, Ennegream 1 to the core, let me tell you: that mental shift towards grace is waaaaay easier said than done. I think many of us are drawn toward a standard to live up to. It’s kind of the way we’re wired.

What if there was a better role model than our puffed up view of our neighbor about how to be a realistically balanced woman? Maybe someone biblical?

Enter: Proverbs 31 woman.

Now, if you’re about to click away because that notorious chapter of Proverbs makes you feel inadequate and bad about yourself, then I want you to go ahead and click over to 10 Myths About the Proverbs 31 Woman and get those notions out of your head.

You good? Okay, let’s talk about her.

I personally don’t believe she was a literal living and breathing person; it’s more helpful to think about the principles her character upheld, as is true with the rest of the book of Proverbs. So what principles can we learn from her about how to live with this concept of balance, as we understand it in modern times?

I found five principles from the verses in Proverbs 31 that I think are very helpful in instructing us to shift our priorities and live more balanced lives as moms. Spoiler alert: if you’re looking for a quick-fix list of things to do differently, you might be disappointed. Proverbs 31 has a lot more to do with growing your character rather than hitting all the marks.

1. Fearing the Lord

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (v. 30).

Hopefully this isn’t surprising to you: the foundation of a well-balanced life is a trusting relationship with God. The phrase “fears the Lord” can sound a little strange to modern ears, because we don’t want to be living under this sense of dread.

Think of it this way: do you like the sun? Of course you do; it brings life to everything around you and makes you feel warm. Yet if you’re smart, you also know to respect it. Don’t stare at it with the naked eye. Don’t hang out it its rays all day long. Appreciate its power, and enjoy its gifts.

In the same way, the woman who fears the Lord is respectfully aware of him as the one who gives all things. She laughs at the days to come (v. 25) because she knows that God is watching over each one. She doesn’t worry about being perfect because she doesn’t have to be.

We do things like devotionals and memorizing scripture because they remind us of this, not because we need to check them off our good girl checklist.

2. Prioritizing Your Marriage

Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life (v. 11–12).

Unless you’re a single mom, your marriage should be ranking pretty high when it comes to balancing your everyday priorities. I know that’s easier said than done. It also takes two to tango; the Proverbs 31 husband seems to be pouring all his love on her if he has full confidence in her and praises her highly.

There aren’t a lot of practical suggestions in these verses about how husbands and wives love each other; the point is that they simply do it. And personally, I believe that having a strong, unified marriage is one of the best things you can do for your family and home.

Far too often, it’s easy for the marriage relationship to fall between the cracks and only get attention when in crisis. Need some advice for making this happen? Check out Fighting for Your Marriage: 3 Tips for Busy and Exhausted Couples.

3. Intentionality with Homemaking

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness (v. 27, see also 13–19).

Homemaking is a very broad topic and often the one that causes moms the most grief. Running a home well is a full time job and then some, and for most of us this is the area that can slip up when life gets overwhelming.

What’s interesting about these verses is that the woman is also running a business from her home. She probably doesn’t have time to fuss over the Pinterest-perfect birthday party because she’s attending to customers, on top of her other daily responsibilities.

How does she make it work? She’s very intentional with the way she spends her time and focuses on what’s most important.

That lesson has been one of the hardest for me to learn as a homemaker, yet one of the most powerful. With good planning and intentionality I can cut out the idle tasks that don’t matter, be efficient with my time and even delegate the tasks I don’t need to do myself.

Wondering where to get started with such a monumental mind shift? Try setting some goals: 5 Grace-Filled Goal-Setting Hacks for the Lazy Mom.

4. Treating Yourself with Dignity

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come (v. 25)

As moms, we like to beat ourselves up. Not only do we not meet up to impossible expectations, but we don’t treat ourselves with enough dignity that we ever could.

As I discussed in Proverbs 31 myths, you might think that to be a great wife/mom/homemaker you need to constantly sacrifice sleep and rest, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. This idea that you have to run around like a crazy person to get everything done is a false modern expectation.

At the time Proverbs 31 was written, a godly woman would have followed the Sabbath, meaning she had at least one day a week to do absolutely no work. She also wouldn’t have had the constant bombardment of false light and electronics stimulating her body and mind to the point of mental and physical exhaustion every day. Life was much slower.

I don’t know that it’s helpful to wistfully long for the “slower” days, but I think there is value in simplifying life and choosing rest instead of busyness.

Check out some resources I’ve pulled together in this self-care toolkit to help you understand how to prioritize biblical self-care.

5. Generosity

She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy (v. 20).

I know, this is one of those “should do” items that tends to slip. How in the world do we fit in generosity when life is already bursting at the seams?

Personally, I think the trick is not to add one more thing to your to-do list, but rather be smarter about how to incorporate sharing with those in need (including sharing the gospel). You’re already going to be eating; invite someone over during a family meal. Make an extra large batch of soup so you can take the extra to your neighbor with the newborn. Include gifts for families in need in your Christmas budget and have your kids wrap them with you.

I’ve never regretted time and energy spent on giving outside of my family, because it simultaneously fills me up. When I look at the Proverbs 31 woman, it seems that generosity was a part of her character and lifestyle, not just something she checked off her list periodically to feel good.

Related post: Easy Ways to Serve Your Community

Balance and Proverbs 31: the Modern Takeaway

Modern women can find a lot of takeaways about living with balance from the Proverbs 31 woman. What makes her ideal is not because she “does it all” but rather her character.

Did you catch that? The key to “balance” is working on growing your character. Specifically in the areas of:

• Loving God
• Loving your husband
• Being intentional with how you spend your time
• Choosing rest
• Loving others

I bet if you worked on growth (not perfection) in these areas, you’d feel a lot less frazzled.

If you enjoyed this study, be sure to check out my seven-day Proverbs 31 devotional, Woman of Strength.

Your turn: what do you have trouble balancing in your life? What could you learn from Proverbs 31 that could help that?

When I reflect on why I decided to become a Christian fourteen years ago, I think part of it was because of the food.

There’s the spiritual food of course (John 6), but I’m talking about the literal FOOD food. I was a college freshman, and there was this young married couple that was leading the campus ministry I had started visiting. I went over to their apartment after church every Sunday for lunch as well as on Thursday evenings for a Bible study (and dessert). The wife was a great cook, and the whole experience made me feel like I had a home, even though I was hundreds of miles away from my physical family.

A few years later, I was newly married and had assumed the role that had been modeled to me so well. My husband and I were leading a different campus ministry in another city, and we had college students in our little apartment constantly. We fed them homemade deep-dish pizza, played a lot of Wii and watched the early seasons of American Idol (we had Bible studies too).

Then we had kids. Fast-forward a few years: life is busy and we’re tired. Constant entertaining the way we used to do it is just not realistic given our season in life right now.

But you know what? We still have people into our home pretty regularly. That memory of knowing how it felt to be loved when I was alone has ingrained in me a conviction: our home is the base for our personal ministry. And while our family comes first, we’re intentional about making our house a place that is inviting to others. Hospitality is also a command that is modeled in the New Testament (see 1 Peter 4:9 among others).

So how do you make hospitality work when some days you barely have time to think? I’ve got a few suggestions.

Read more about How To Practice Hospitality When You’re Busy and Exhausted on My Joy-Filled Life!

Do you open up your home to others regularly? What suggestions do you have?