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How Moms Can Live with More Balance: 5 Lessons from Proverbs 31

April 4, 2018 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

When I asked my readers what they needed the most help with when it comes to motherhood, one word that came through time and again was clear:

Balance.

“Balance between work and home.”

“Balance between being a wife and mom.”

“Balance as a wife, mom, homemaker and just being myself.”

“Balancing my time with God with all of the other demands.”

“Balancing it all and not burning out!”

I get it. Adulting is hard.

I think a lot of us have the myth in our heads about the “perfectly balanced woman.” She is always perfectly present and pleasant for her family, runs a tight ship of a home, always pleases her husband and of course does her work flawlessly and on time. Not to mention she is super-spiritual, has memorized the whole Bible and leads her joyful, obedient children in prayer throughout the day.

Mrs. Perfect probably runs a business while homeschooling 17 kids. And she never gets sick because of her all-natural medicine cabinet and fully stocked kitchen of organic whole foods and supplements. She also works out every day.

I might be getting carried away…but maybe not. You tell me.

There’s probably someone out there doing at least one of those things better than you. When you’re unable to keep up with that standard, does it make you feel…out of balance?

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The Need to Compare

Hopefully you’re aware that comparison with other humans rarely ends well, and that this wife/mother/homemaker journey (and life in general) is a grace-filled path. So you know that, of course, no one is expecting you to be perfect.

Coming from a thoroughbred perfectionist, Ennegream 1 to the core, let me tell you: that mental shift towards grace is waaaaay easier said than done. I think many of us are drawn toward a standard to live up to. It’s kind of the way we’re wired.

What if there was a better role model than our puffed up view of our neighbor about how to be a realistically balanced woman? Maybe someone biblical?

Enter: Proverbs 31 woman.

Now, if you’re about to click away because that notorious chapter of Proverbs makes you feel inadequate and bad about yourself, then I want you to go ahead and click over to 10 Myths About the Proverbs 31 Woman and get those notions out of your head.

You good? Okay, let’s talk about her.

I personally don’t believe she was a literal living and breathing person; it’s more helpful to think about the principles her character upheld, as is true with the rest of the book of Proverbs. So what principles can we learn from her about how to live with this concept of balance, as we understand it in modern times?

I found five principles from the verses in Proverbs 31 that I think are very helpful in instructing us to shift our priorities and live more balanced lives as moms. Spoiler alert: if you’re looking for a quick-fix list of things to do differently, you might be disappointed. Proverbs 31 has a lot more to do with growing your character rather than hitting all the marks.

1. Fearing the Lord

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (v. 30).

Hopefully this isn’t surprising to you: the foundation of a well-balanced life is a trusting relationship with God. The phrase “fears the Lord” can sound a little strange to modern ears, because we don’t want to be living under this sense of dread.

Think of it this way: do you like the sun? Of course you do; it brings life to everything around you and makes you feel warm. Yet if you’re smart, you also know to respect it. Don’t stare at it with the naked eye. Don’t hang out it its rays all day long. Appreciate its power, and enjoy its gifts.

In the same way, the woman who fears the Lord is respectfully aware of him as the one who gives all things. She laughs at the days to come (v. 25) because she knows that God is watching over each one. She doesn’t worry about being perfect because she doesn’t have to be.

We do things like devotionals and memorizing scripture because they remind us of this, not because we need to check them off our good girl checklist.

2. Prioritizing Your Marriage

Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life (v. 11–12).

Unless you’re a single mom, your marriage should be ranking pretty high when it comes to balancing your everyday priorities. I know that’s easier said than done. It also takes two to tango; the Proverbs 31 husband seems to be pouring all his love on her if he has full confidence in her and praises her highly.

There aren’t a lot of practical suggestions in these verses about how husbands and wives love each other; the point is that they simply do it. And personally, I believe that having a strong, unified marriage is one of the best things you can do for your family and home.

Far too often, it’s easy for the marriage relationship to fall between the cracks and only get attention when in crisis. Need some advice for making this happen? Check out Fighting for Your Marriage: 3 Tips for Busy and Exhausted Couples.

3. Intentionality with Homemaking

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness (v. 27, see also 13–19).

Homemaking is a very broad topic and often the one that causes moms the most grief. Running a home well is a full time job and then some, and for most of us this is the area that can slip up when life gets overwhelming.

What’s interesting about these verses is that the woman is also running a business from her home. She probably doesn’t have time to fuss over the Pinterest-perfect birthday party because she’s attending to customers, on top of her other daily responsibilities.

How does she make it work? She’s very intentional with the way she spends her time and focuses on what’s most important.

That lesson has been one of the hardest for me to learn as a homemaker, yet one of the most powerful. With good planning and intentionality I can cut out the idle tasks that don’t matter, be efficient with my time and even delegate the tasks I don’t need to do myself.

Wondering where to get started with such a monumental mind shift? Try setting some goals: 5 Grace-Filled Goal-Setting Hacks for the Lazy Mom.

4. Treating Yourself with Dignity

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come (v. 25)

As moms, we like to beat ourselves up. Not only do we not meet up to impossible expectations, but we don’t treat ourselves with enough dignity that we ever could.

As I discussed in Proverbs 31 myths, you might think that to be a great wife/mom/homemaker you need to constantly sacrifice sleep and rest, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. This idea that you have to run around like a crazy person to get everything done is a false modern expectation.

At the time Proverbs 31 was written, a godly woman would have followed the Sabbath, meaning she had at least one day a week to do absolutely no work. She also wouldn’t have had the constant bombardment of false light and electronics stimulating her body and mind to the point of mental and physical exhaustion every day. Life was much slower.

I don’t know that it’s helpful to wistfully long for the “slower” days, but I think there is value in simplifying life and choosing rest instead of busyness.

Check out some resources I’ve pulled together in this self-care toolkit to help you understand how to prioritize biblical self-care.

5. Generosity

She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy (v. 20).

I know, this is one of those “should do” items that tends to slip. How in the world do we fit in generosity when life is already bursting at the seams?

Personally, I think the trick is not to add one more thing to your to-do list, but rather be smarter about how to incorporate sharing with those in need (including sharing the gospel). You’re already going to be eating; invite someone over during a family meal. Make an extra large batch of soup so you can take the extra to your neighbor with the newborn. Include gifts for families in need in your Christmas budget and have your kids wrap them with you.

I’ve never regretted time and energy spent on giving outside of my family, because it simultaneously fills me up. When I look at the Proverbs 31 woman, it seems that generosity was a part of her character and lifestyle, not just something she checked off her list periodically to feel good.

Balance and Proverbs 31: the Modern Takeaway

Modern women can find a lot of takeaways about living with balance from the Proverbs 31 woman. What makes her ideal is not because she “does it all” but rather her character.

Did you catch that? The key to “balance” is working on growing your character. Specifically in the areas of:

Loving God
Loving your husband
Being intentional with how you spend your time
Choosing rest
Loving others

I bet if you worked on growth (not perfection) in these areas, you’d feel a lot less frazzled.

If you enjoyed this study, be sure to check out my seven-day Proverbs 31 devotional, Woman of Strength.

Your turn: what do you have trouble balancing in your life? What could you learn from Proverbs 31 that could help that?

Goal-Setting: 5 Grace-Filled Hacks for the Lazy Mom

December 19, 2017 by Gina Poirier 5 Comments

Hey friends, check it out: if you want to step up your goal-setting game, be sure to check out my new goal-setting mini-workbook, which walks you through some of the strategies in this post. It’s the latest addition to my collection of free printable resources for Christian moms. Enjoy!

Words like “goal setting” at times of year when everyone is trying to get a fresh start—like New Year’s or at the beginning of the school year—can produce mixed feelings in me.

On the one hand I like the idea of dreaming big and making plans that produce results. Because who doesn’t like “results”? #amIright

On the other hand, I often find that goals and resolutions get forgotten within about, oh, 24 hours. Maybe a few weeks max. Many of us lack the motivation, commitment and discipline to see them through.

By the way, do you know your motivation “Tendency”? Check out How to Be Motivated: The Four Tendencies from a Biblical Perspective

Furthermore, a little confession: like most humans, I am lazy. Because there is only so much space in my brain, I like to take shortcuts and rely on sheer willpower to remember and execute all the things. I would rather be on Instagram than spending time planning out my laundry strategy.

It took several years as a stay-at-home mom before I realized that I needed to be a bit more intentional with my personal goal-setting and planning. Otherwise I am wandering around my house aimlessly day-to-day—keeping the kids alive, of course, but driving myself crazy with my lack of focus.

When it comes down to it, mom life is inherently chaotic. Maybe you thrive in chaos…but chances are, if you’re reading this post, you know you could probably do better.

See this related post: : How To Embrace Mom Burnout & Embrace What Makes You Amazing.

Personal Goal-Setting Hacks for the Lazy Mom

Jeremy Bishop

Disclosure: this post contains affiliate links. See here for more information.

Don’t just take my word for it; goal-setting is actually biblical. Let’s take a look at the big picture:

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness…For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
2 Peter 2:1 NIV, emphasis added

In other words: we have incredible gifts through the grace of God—in fact, we have everything we need to live a godly life. Cool. BUT at the same time, we’re called higher—to grow, that our faith might not stagnate.

I don’t know how all of this works, to be honest. Sometimes we just grow because when we’re pointed in the right direction (Christ), it happens naturally. I think just being a mom has made me grow as a spiritual person, whether I’ve been intentional about it or not.

But sometimes we need to stretch ourselves beyond what might “just happen.” As I read the Bible, I see over and over again a balance between God firmly guiding his flock while at the same time letting them figure out their own way.

So what does this mean for me, practically? It means that I have a lot to gain from setting goals and making plans, that I may grow as a person and in turn guide my children. Now let me be clear: I believe God is the ultimate goal-setter, often behind the scenes. My plans don’t automatically coincide with his (see the necessity of prayer, below). But a quick flip through Proverbs indicates that we nonetheless have a responsibility on our end to try and make things happen. When we’re keeping our eyes on Christ, he’ll help us course-correct when needed.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and he will establish your plans.
Proverbs 16:3 NIV

In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.
Proverbs 16:9 NIV

Convinced that goal-setting and planning is worth the effort (and not just at the beginning of the year)? Here’s a very basic way to approach it. I highly recommend trying to get a couple of quiet hours to yourself if you can so that you can really focus.

1. Pray

It’s easy to want to jump into making plans, but start here first! Sitting down to pray helps me to me more reflective about where I’ve been and where I want to go.

Some questions you might want to talk to God about include:

What am I thankful for, reflecting on the past year, the past season, the past month, the past week?
What went well?
What didn’t go so well?
What are the areas I should grow in?
What should I prioritize?

It can be helpful to have a sort of focus word or theme scripture that you can go back to.

I’m going to go out on a limb here: with only a couple of exceptions like homeschooling and finances, I don’t like to focus on stuff for a whole stinkin’ year. For the more fluid areas of my life I prefer to focus within seasons and months. So if you don’t have a “theme” for a whole year, that’s just fine. Here’s a scripture I focused on at the beginning of last year (and drifted away from after a few months 😉 ):

2. Brainstorm

I got this really fun tip from a fantastic little book from one of my favorite bloggers called Time Management Mama. Take a few moments and just dump your brain with what you want your life to to look like in the coming weeks and months. You can write it out in a list, or you can map it out freehand, like a little flow chart (this is called mind mapping). Don’t think about it too hard; just write! Once you get going, you can start organizing your thoughts into different categories: home, kids, work, marriage, finances, etc.

What vision do you have for each of these categories? Write it out!

Need more guidance? It can be super-helpful to have a detailed goal-setting guide to walk you through it. Beyond my free worksheet which you can access here, I recommend PowerSheets from Lara Casey if you want a beautiful worksheets that will help you cultivate your goals year-round. Grace Goals from Arabah Joy is a fantastic multi-media resource with printable goal-setting sheets as well as Bible-based video lessons.

More goodies: a couple of books I recommend that can help you cut out your time-wasters and focus on what you’re passionate about include You’re Already Amazing by Holley Gerth and Cultivate by Lara Casey.

3. Prioritize

Now this is the hard part. Narrow down your priorities. You might have 20 categories of things you want to work on. Cut and condense them to no more than about five focus areas.

Did you get a good vision for how you want to grow in those focus areas? Try to narrow each one down to a few words or a short sentence. These are your whys, which will help you as you move forward day by day, week by week.

Now identify some goals related to your focus areas. Be specific with those goals, particularly when you would like to accomplish them, but don’t force yourself to make a goal just to make one. Here are some examples of goals I’ve made recently in my focus areas for one season (about three months).

Focus Areas & Vision	Goal
Relationship with God & Personal Growth: Dig Deep	Finish 6 books in 3 months
Home Management: Order & Comfort	Declutter toys and donate next month
Church & Community: Connection	Host small group party next month
Family: Cultivate Gratitude & Generosity	Create a gratitude poster next month
Work & Finances: Peace	Make X amount per week freelancing, save X amount/month

Narrowing down your focus is soooo important, I can’t emphasize it enough. Otherwise making any real progress is just too overwhelming—and unattainable! Focus on just a couple of things, and I guarantee you’re much more likely to succeed.

4. Plan

Finally, the fun part of goal-setting you’ve been waiting for! Thinking about your goals, identify what you need to do to reach them.

There are a few ways you can approach this:

Make new habits: last year I envisioned being more Spirit-led and having a peaceful home. Two daily habits I worked on that helped me reach those goals were to have a time of personal reflection each evening, and to aim for 30 minutes of cleaning and organizing in my schedule. Over the course of a few months I worked on and adjusted those habits (remember, this process is grace-filled!).
Set up steps to reach your targets: within my big goals are smaller goals, broken down into steps. For example, to gain the financial income and savings goals I desire, I need to crunch numbers, plan some specific projects and make due dates. Little tip: start with a bigger goal, set a deadline and work backwards.
Get a great planning and scheduling system! I am a visual person and find it very helpful to write everything down on paper. There are a ton of great planners out there. My current recommendation for moms is the Organized Life Planner from Intentional Moms. It has time blocking, spaces for to-do lists and habit-building, planning pages, and lots of space for goal setting and reflection. Maybe a paper planner isn’t your thing, but I strongly encourage you to discover what is, and stick with it.

Schedule in adequate time for rest, or as I jokingly call it, “productive laziness.” I know this can be a challenge, but it is a vital part of crafting a plan that won’t leave you burned out.

5. Evaluate

Confession: when it comes to goal-setting in the past, I’ve fallen short with evaluation and follow-through. I can come up with great ideas and even a pretty detailed schedule, but I don’t take the time to reflect and evaluate my progress. Huge mistake! In order to get anywhere, it is absolutely essential to keep your goals in front of you…constantly!

That’s why recently I built a habit of taking a few minutes each day to pause and reflect. I also schedule a weekly planning time for myself, as well as space for my husband and I to communicate and plan together. Running a household and a family is not a solo activity.

In addition to my day-to-day and weekly reflection, I like to take time each month to evaluate how my larger goals are going. And, since it’s so hard to plan a whole year in advance, I do some major reevaluation and tweaking my goals about every three months or whenever there is a change of season. Those are chunks that feel much easier to manage, rather than a full twelve months.

So let me summarize that. Glance at your goals and plans:

Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Seasonally
And yes, even annually.

When you evaluate your progress, don’t beat yourself up. Remember, motherhood is a crazy season! If one strategy isn’t working, try something else. And be flexible. Maybe you can’t work on a particular goal this season because you have a newborn at home or there are 18,728 soccer practices to attend. No worries. Focus on loving your family and come back to it later. This is grace-filled goal-setting.

A note to people who are resistant to structure: it’s okay. The beauty of such a system is that you can make it work however you want. Do you need external accountability? Create it. Do you need freedom and flexibility? Give yourself options. Again, I think you may find this post helpful: How to Be Motivated: The Four Tendencies from a Biblical Perspective.

Okay then, fellow “lazy” mamas, what do you think? Do you think these exercises are reasonable and flexible enough for you to practice? This is high-level, broad goal setting advice, but hopefully you can apply it to just about anything you want to work on. Remember, you’re worth it! And trust me, if I can do it, so can you.

Don’t forget, grab you your free mini-workbook in my free resource collection for moms.

How a 7-Day Time Log Helped Me Get My Daily Schedule Under Control

May 19, 2017 by Gina Poirier 2 Comments

As someone who is constantly struggling with time management, I heard about how keeping a 7-day time log can help you better visualize and manage your daily schedule. I decided to try it out and learned a ton! I created and used a printable time log, which you can access as part of my free resource collection.

I recently did a survey of my readers about their personal levels of stress. There was no shocking news; moms are generally under a lot of demands and pressure. The three areas that moms seem to have the most trouble with when it comes to their stress levels are:

Managing their regular schedule
Making enough time for recreation and personal growth
Financial stability

You know what’s interesting about all three areas? They all have to do with limitations in our resources.

Most of us know about limitations on money. There is only so much of it. Once you spend it, it’s gone—and if you go into debt, you will literally pay for it later. That’s why it just makes sense to track where your money is going and have a budget.

For some reason we have difficulty thinking about time in the same way: a limited resource that has to be budgeted.

Every time I check, there are 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week. Time is different than money because we all have the exact same allocation. But time is like money because we can track where it goes and plan how to spend it.

How a 7-Day Time Log Helped Me Get My Daily Schedule Under Control

Personally, I have always had difficulty budgeting my time. I’m the equivalent of a shopaholic; but instead of buying clothes I’m addicted to things like productivity and efficiency. I will squeeze every last drop out of a spare moment I have to get something done and checked off my list. But inevitably I overbook, I tend to take shortcuts, and I get frustrated and burnt out.

In the past year I’ve been doing a lot of research and heart work about managing stress and how I should be spending this very precious and limited resource we all have but often waste: time.

I came across a strategy recently that I found very intriguing: keeping a 7-day “time log.” It’s different than keeping a schedule. A schedule is what you plan to do; a time log is what you actually do.

Some people are familiar with tracking their activity at work because it holds them accountable to their professional expectations. In the same way, we all have certain expectations of ourselves in our home and with our families, whether we’re aware of them or not. So it only makes sense; why not check in with ourselves and see how we’re actually spending that precious time and measuring up to our own expectations?

So that’s what I did. I started keeping track. For 168 straight hours I monitored and recorded my activities on a simple time log. I started on a Friday because that’s when I got the whim, and I ended the following Thursday.

Here’s how this process helped me get my schedule and time management under control.

Getting Enough Sleep Takes Effort

Lately, as I’ve been trying to manage my own stress levels better, I’ve tried to be very aware of my own sleep patterns. Previously I thought that I needed about seven hours of sleep to function well; the truth is, after some experimentation, I actually do much better with eight. Keeping a time log illustrated for me in a very visual way what my daily routine needs to look like if I am going to get the sleep I really need. Essentially, I need about 2.5–3 hours from the time I start the kids’ bedtime routine to the time I am unconscious. That includes time to unwind personally and with my husband.

Things Take More Time Than You Think

In my head I must be much more productive than I actually am in real life. My imagination thinks that I magically put dishes away and take a shower and cook with lightning speed. What the time log taught me was that I am not a superhuman and that all those mundane little tasks take up a ton of time! And I need to plan accordingly if I’m not going to feel like I’m in a rush all the time.

Related: How To Rock Your Schedule

Taking Care of Kids is No Joke

Stay-at-home moms despise this question: “What do you DO all day?” Well, with my time log I can tell you exactly what I do. I spend approximately 9–10 hours each day ACTIVELY caring for my kids and for my home, including cooking, cleaning, and other chores; not to mention homeschooling, activities and all the other demands like teaching certain short people how to share. I was very particular about how I recorded this; any time that I spent relaxing or taking care of myself, or even watching a movie with the family, I didn’t count as “active.”

Oh, and I don’t get weekends off from this “momming” thing, although it’s slightly easier when my husband is around.

The point is, motherhood is more than a full-time job. Try keeping the time log, moms. Then show it to the skeptics.

Breaks Are Crucial

In addition to tracking what I did in the time log, I kept record about how I was feeling. If I felt anxious, I wrote it down. If I felt calm, I wrote it down. What I discovered is that if I’m not intentional about getting little breaks throughout the day, I start to lose my cool. I need some personal time three times a day: the first thing in the morning, at lunch, and after the kids go to bed. The morning and lunch respites are especially critical if I don’t want to turn into a bear by mid-afternoon.

The Daily Rhythm is Sacred

Call me a creature of habit. But the days that felt the best were the ones we were in a good rhythm and routine. When I get up at the same time, follow the same predicable schedule, and get a reasonable amount of work done with the kids and around the house, I’m generally feeling pretty satisfied. What’s more, the kids seem to be more at ease too. I know that not every day can be exactly alike, but I am more convinced than ever that routine, however loose or structured you like it, is key to sanity.

It’s an Ongoing Learning Process

Having said that, the ideal rhythm and routine within the home is always in flux. Perfection isn’t possible or really even the goal; finding different methods that work for particular seasons and moments in time is. For example, during the week I kept my time log, I had a particularly long grocery list and I had to take all three kids with me to the big box store. The whole excursion, from writing my shopping list to putting food away when we got home, took over two hours and was hard on all of us. I wrote a note on the time log that next time I take all three, I should better prepare them and myself for what that trip is ideally going to look like. However, each week my shopping plan varies slightly. I just have to adjust and do the best that I can to make it work.

What Next?

By the time my seven days were up I was more than ready to end my little experiment (my notes got increasingly less detailed). I learned a lot about myself and what gaps were in my daily routine that I could address accordingly when planning out my schedule each week.

I think ideally I’d like repeat this process again every few months, because when the seasons change, our schedules usually need to adjust too.

If you’d like to keep a daily time log, I can’t recommend it enough. Here are a few helpful tips:

Use a time-blocking system with 15-minute increments. You could just keep track on a lined piece of paper, but I just found it really helpful to visually see how my time was divided into increments each day. I made a handy little printable that was very helpful for me.
Keep notes not just about what you do, but how you feel. In particular, note when you’re feeling low or high energy, or when you’re feeling stress or various emotions.
Color code different types of activity. You can do this after you’re done recording. This can be a bit of a challenge if you’re like me and you multi-task, but just realize that it’s not an exact science. I ended up lumping “actively taking care of kids” and “actively taking care of house” into the same group, because I was likely working on both simultaneously.
Take the time to assess after you’re done. Otherwise there is no point to this exercise. Where are your stress points? What patterns do you see? What can you cut out (and what can’t you cut out?) Where are you wasting time? What do you need to add?

If you’d like to keep your own time log, you can download this printable, which is in my free resource collection.

Well, what do you think? Do you think a time log can help you get your daily schedule under control?

3 Reasons You’re Failing at Homemaking

April 26, 2017 by Gina Poirier 1 Comment

Feel like you’re failing at homemaking as much as I have? Need a little help? Be sure to check out my growing library of resources by clicking below.

I have a lot of formal education under my belt. But very little of it helped prepare me for how I now spend the vast majority of my time: caring for my family and running a household. In other words, homemaking.

I didn’t plan for this.

I didn’t study for this.

I could never have imagined any of this.

But this is my life: laundry, dishes, scheduling, crying, diapering, teaching, loving, organizing, crying some more, meal planning, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring—generally chaotic but beautiful “homemaking.”

You don’t have to be a stay-at-home parent to be a homemaker. You just have to have a family and a home. And a homemaker makes a home not just an address, but a place to live. You work to make it peaceful, safe, comfortable, nurturing and welcoming.

So, having said that…I was convinced for a long time that I pretty much fail at this skill constantly.

But as it turns out, I just needed a little shift in my perspective.

3 Reasons Why You’re Failing At Homemaking

1. You set the bar too high.

I’m a recovering perfectionist, which means that every day, I have to wake up and fight to feel okay about who I am.

It gets exhausting.

I remember one Saturday morning as a newlywed when I was so excited to be making my husband’s favorite breakfast: blueberry muffins. They smelled wonderful combined with the scent of bacon just starting to crisp.

But I forgot the baking powder.

He was a good sport briefly as he mashed the rubbery concoction between his teeth. But he was also honest that it wasn’t my best work.

I burst into tears because I just couldn’t handle failing him (oh boy, just you wait, young me). And because of that one failure, a part of me felt like I would never get this wife role right.

Ten years later, I don’t cry over blueberry muffins anymore, or really anything that I accidently destroy during the baking process. But I frequently catch myself getting upset when I screw up—I missed a payment, I forgot an appointment, I stained the carpet, I yelled at the kids…

I have to remind myself that I am not Betty Crocker, Joanna Gaines, or Jesus. And nobody expects me to be. While I have grown and will continue to grow, in the meantime, I am the best homemaker for my family simply because I am me, not because of what I do (or don’t).

2. You don’t know what you don’t know.

When you move into your first house, it’s a little bewildering when you discover all the things that can go wrong with it. Nonetheless, when our basement flooded a little over a year ago, I was pretty excited to do a remodeling project.

A month into it I wanted to die. (Okay, not really, but it was bad.)

Pinterest failed me. It failed to mention how hard the work would be, and it also failed to mention how to effectively whitewash your fireplace with drippy, splattery water-paint when you generally hate painting and you have three curious and small kids popping in and out of a generally hazardous work area.

I wish sometimes that I just knew all the things. Like how to grow plants without killing them or how to breastfeed without getting mastitis with every single kid, or how to speak in awesome voices when I read aloud.

But I don’t know all the things, and neither do you, and neither does anybody. Sometimes homemakers get the idea in our heads that we have to know how to be the Proverbs 31 woman from the get-go and just exude awesomeness. When really, it’s a better use of our time and energy when we simply admit that we don’t know how to do the things. Because—you simply don’t know what you don’t know!

Once you admit that you don’t know something, you can still decide to learn it. As a newlywed my culinary expertise was limited to frozen burritos. Now I’m actually a decent cook. It took lots of practice, lots of failure and—most importantly—lots of time.

3. You don’t ask for help.

I have a lot of embarrassing newlywed stories. During our first year of marriage we were working part time leading a campus ministry. One day, my mentor and I were chatting, and she very gently crushed my soul with these words:

“You seem like you don’t really want help because you already know the answers and don’t ask for input.”

Or something like that.

I have no recollection of how I responded. I think I was picking up the pieces of my jaw on the floor.

Sometimes the most cutting words are the true ones. I think my friend was primarily referring to how I was handling my job in ministry, but it’s an issue that has affected my whole life: I hate feeling needy and I hate asking for help.

I think it’s a rare genetic condition called…pride maybe?

Titus 2:3–5 is perhaps one of the better known passages on mentorship/discipleship, particularly as it relates to women, but in my understanding it’s all over the book. Humans are generally dumb. Humans who are older and more experienced are generally less dumb. So maybe we younger humans should seek the older humans’ guidance.

Personally, while I enjoy the creature comforts of the modern era, one thing we really lack is the relational support our ancestors had. We’re in single-family homes, working our tails off, isolated from community, trying to hack our way through homemaking and life in general. Getting help from wise mentors takes effort and persistence.

How To Not Fail at Homemaking

I should actually stop writing here because the truth is you and I will both continue to fail at homemaking, quite spectacularly as a matter of fact. Hopefully by now you’re cool with that.

Having said that, however, you can make it a little less painful. First, find a mentor. It’s actually not that hard—it could be your mom or some lady from church who is just aching to offer her wisdom. You just have to look, and ask. And it doesn’t have to be a formal arrangement. Invite your neat freak friend over and ask her to help you clean out that weird cabinet under the kitchen island.

Second, do some study and soul-searching about what it means to be a homemaker. Don’t know where to start? The Bible is usually a good place :). Check out my Woman of Strength devotional, which you can find in my free resource collection.

Are you “failing” at homemaking? Which of these tips will help you most?

5 Time Management Tips for Moms—When Life is Crazy

January 20, 2017 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

I talk to young moms a lot. We are all a very worried, guilty and overwhelmed bunch of people, right? There’s a lot we can talk about in our crazy busy lives regarding our kids, our parenting, our faith and our marriage. But a surprising need that I hear again and again? Time management tips.

We sometimes feel guilty worrying about managing our time because it seems…lame. Like, there are people starving and we’re all concerned about whether we got our to-do lists accomplished? But when it comes down do it—and I know I’m not just speaking for myself here—feeling like our lives are out of control is a huge stressor for a lot of moms.

Think of all the things you want to accomplish on a given day:

Connect with God.
Connect with your husband.
Connect with your kids.
Teach and train your kids and help them with their schoolwork.
Take kids to all the appointments/practices/etc.
Keep your house clean.
Run 87 errands that you’ve been putting off for months.
Pay your bills on time.
Keep your house clean after your kids messed it up again.
Take a shower. Maybe put on makeup. (Perhaps should have done that earlier in the day.)
Be a good friend/daughter/sister etc.
Feed your offspring, which includes meal planning, shopping, cooking AND cleanup. (Again, maybe should have planned that earlier.)
Oh yeah, perhaps work or run a side business like many of us do.
RELAX (hahahahahaha are you kidding?)
Shouldn’t exercise have been in there somewhere?

It’s dizzying.

5 Time Management Tips for Moms—When Life is Crazy

There are a lot of angles we could take on this topic, but I think it might be helpful to simply offer a few practicals that can help. If I were to travel in time and offer advice to myself a few years ago I would offer these time management tips:

To finish reading, please head on over and read my guest post at My Joy-Filled Life!

Home Organization: How To Create a Realistic Plan and Not Feel Bad about Yourself

January 6, 2017 by Gina Poirier 1 Comment

Disclosure: this post contains affiliate links. See here for more information.

Last year, I got really excited about home organization and decluttering. And I mean REALLY EXCITED/OBSESSED. I read the Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and thought I had found the next best thing to the messiah. (I’m joking, people…mostly.) This book has made the KonMari home organization and decluttering technique world famous.

I threw out most of our family’s clothes and organized them in lovely little rows.

Read: What Happened When Our Family Got Rid of Most of Our Clothes.

I gleefully discarded old books and toys, convinced that by the end of the year, I was going to have a house completely devoid of all things clutter.

Read: 10 Lessons Decluttering Books the KonMari Way and How We’re Banishing Toy Clutter, for Good.

But then it got harder. I made pretty decent progress on my kitchen…and then I just gave up entirely. And I mean cold turkey, man.

Marie Kondo says in her follow-up manual, Spark Joy, “No matter how cluttered it looks, don’t pause, don’t stop, don’t quit.” You’re supposed to declutter your entire house in a single marathon session, even if it takes a few months.

But life got busy last fall. Between soccer practice, homeschooling and holidays, I just didn’t have the time/energy/motivation to participate in this never-ending decluttering marathon. So I made no effort whatsoever.

I love the KonMari concept in theory: only keep what you love. Discard the rest. But practically, I couldn’t finish the process of going through each and every category of all. the. things. in my whole home. Maybe I’ll get there eventually—I mean, it is A LOT better than it was. But in the meantime I have to find a Plan B.

I’m a (recovering) perfectionist, and so a job woefully undone nearly undid me. I regularly felt anxious because in my head was this glittering standard I wanted to be at…and I was nowhere near reaching it. Not in a million years.

So, since I know I can’t be the only one who has felt like an epic failure at home organization, I thought I’d share some of things I’ve learned, how I’ve stopped feeling bad about myself, and what I’m doing instead.

Home Organization: How To Create a Realistic Plan and Not Feel Bad about Yourself

If you’re like me and are tempted to feel woefully inadequate about your home organization and other wifely/motherly skills, these tips might help you. I’ve learned these things the hard way, so hopefully they will be helpful to you before you find yourself in emotional breakdown mode. And even if you do break down…well, you’ll be okay.

1. Get Over Yourself Already

No seriously. Unless you have your own show on HGTV, you need to get off Pinterest and stop beating yourself up when you don’t have matching throw pillows. What’s more important: having a clutter-free kitchen counter or taking time each day to snuggle with your kids? You know the answer, of course.

Going back to the Bible and getting godly perspective always helps me. Not sure where to start? I’ve got two posts you might find helpful regarding this matter: 10 Bible Verses for the Perfectionist Mama and 10 Encouraging Bible Verses about Insecurity for Moms.

I know that for some of us, we have this unrealistic vision of the perfect Proverbs 31 wife running her home on no sleep and laughing all the while. Ha. Take another look at her in this post: What You Don’t Know About the Proverbs 31 Woman as well as my free 7-day devotional Woman of Strength.

Bottom line: while I think it’s good for us to push ourselves beyond our comfort zones a little bit, it’s easy to fall into a traps of perfectionism and impossible expectations. Love and embrace grace, friends!

2. Get a More Realistic Vision

What do you want your home to look like? I’m sure we’d all like everything in white, spotless, with no toys anywhere…but get real, lady. Here’s a little exercise that can be quite helpful: write down each room, and describe that room’s purpose and the general feeling you want to get when you enter it. For example:

Master bedroom: this is a place of rest, a sanctuary. Quiet. Peaceful.

Bathroom: this is a place of cleansing. Bright. Happy.

I know it’s a little cheesy, but try it. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Then think through what might have to change in order for you to meet that ideal. I know that for my bedroom, I’m actually in pretty good shape with my closet and drawers being mostly in order. But, I have work to do with my accessories and all of the random junk stashed in the corners. In the bathroom, I actually want to redecorate so that it’s brighter (and the closet is a disaster, ugh).

Now remember we have to be realistic too. I would love the space in front of our bay windows to be free of toys, and generally most of the kids’ toys are down in the playroom. BUT with all of its light and central location, it is also ideal as a LEGO construction space. So we compromise. I also have surrendered one of our bookshelves to be my husband’s dumping ground for his random stuff since he doesn’t have a desk at home, and one of the kitchen counters is my not-so-tidy command center.

3. Make a Plan

This is the hard part, folks. Where to even start? This process can be especially frustrating for lazy perfectionists like me (yes that description is accurate), who like to make things happen by sheer willpower rather than with a well-executed plan.

If you have trouble making realistic plans and following through, for home organization or anything else, you might find this post helpful: Goal Setting for the Lazy Mom: 5 Steps to Calm Your Chaos.

I know there are a lot of home organization guides out there, so if you find one that inspires you, go for it. For me personally, I’ve decided to enroll in an online course from my trusted blogger friend, Hilary from Pulling Curls.

Her course, The Organized Home, holds your hand as you walk through your house step by step. This is where I felt the KonMari method really lacked. I suppose that if I spent a bazillion dollars and hired Marie Kondo to be my consultant that I would have had wild success. But taking an online course is perhaps the more realistic option for me. I think it’s better than just reading a book because there’s more built-in accountability.

Could I do it without someone holding my hand? Probably. But getting those sweet little motivational reminders from Hilary in my inbox helps keep my butt in gear. What’s more, Hilary is kind of the super mom we all want to be, but she’s completely down to earth and cool about it. Her home is not perfect (I LOVE the photos of her home that she shows in the course, which are not the type that you’d find in a Pottery Barn catalogue). She’s also a big advocate about finding the system that works for YOU. You don’t have to imitate her exactly, you just have to figure out how to make your home tick (you might also like her ebook Family Systems: How To Automate Your Housewife Life).

I also learned about the insane value of Command Hooks from Hilary.

Amazing idea, right? (Or am I just slow…?) This took about two seconds and I used the hooks I already had. I need to go buy some more, stat.

4. Follow Through

Here’s where the rubber meets the road in home organization: gettin’ it done. Setting goals and taking a course have already motivated me to get more done in a week than I have in the past six months. I threw out a whole trash bag of old arts and crafts supplies and did a happy dance after I organized what was left.

For some people it’s helpful to write up a checklist of the things you need to do in order to reach your vision for each room. If that’s your jam, go for it…but again, don’t let it defeat you if you just don’t get to everything by tomorrow. If you need some motivation, set deadlines for yourself.

It’s great when you can get those big chunks at a time, 2–3 hours or more, to work on decluttering. That is what Marie Kondo recommends: uninterrupted focus. That sounds great, but typically I just don’t have that luxury. And I think that’s ultimately why I gave up. I had elevated my home organization to some holy practice, and there just wasn’t enough space in my life to make it work.

One of the changes I’ve made in my life this year is to simply make home organization and decluttering a daily habit (which I am tracking in my Living Well Planner). Even if I just take five minutes to throw out some expired spices or old mail, that is better than doing nothing. And as Hilary says, few things motivate better than just doing jumping in and doing it! Just do it. Thank you, Nike.

I’d also recommend talking through your plans with a “decluttering buddy.” It’s so much more fun to work on things together and spur one another on. Check out the ever Wiping Noses for Jesus is Legit Facebook Group, where like-minded moms can help each other out!

What are your biggest hurdles when it comes to home organization and how do you think you can get through them? Leave a comment below or on social media, I’d love to hear from you. Happy organizing!

How To Practice Hospitality When You’re Busy and Exhausted

September 16, 2016 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

When I reflect on why I decided to become a Christian fourteen years ago, I think part of it was because of the food.

There’s the spiritual food of course (John 6), but I’m talking about the literal FOOD food. I was a college freshman, and there was this young married couple that was leading the campus ministry I had started visiting. I went over to their apartment after church every Sunday for lunch as well as on Thursday evenings for a Bible study (and dessert). The wife was a great cook, and the whole experience made me feel like I had a home, even though I was hundreds of miles away from my physical family.

A few years later, I was newly married and had assumed the role that had been modeled to me so well. My husband and I were leading a different campus ministry in another city, and we had college students in our little apartment constantly. We fed them homemade deep-dish pizza, played a lot of Wii and watched the early seasons of American Idol (we had Bible studies too).

Then we had kids. Fast-forward a few years: life is busy and we’re tired. Constant entertaining the way we used to do it is just not realistic given our season in life right now.

But you know what? We still have people into our home pretty regularly. That memory of knowing how it felt to be loved when I was alone has ingrained in me a conviction: our home is the base for our personal ministry. And while our family comes first, we’re intentional about making our house a place that is inviting to others. Hospitality is also a command that is modeled in the New Testament (see 1 Peter 4:9 among others).

So how do you make hospitality work when some days you barely have time to think? I’ve got a few suggestions.

Read more about How To Practice Hospitality When You’re Busy and Exhausted on My Joy-Filled Life!

Do you open up your home to others regularly? What suggestions do you have?

30 Brilliant Road Trip Hacks for Families

August 12, 2016 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

Disclosure: this post contains affiliate links. See here for more information.

We did it, my friends. Eleven days (five on the road). Over 2,000 miles. Three kids.

We’re exhausted, but everyone is happy. The kids hardly fought. We only barely went over budget.

We are masters of the American road trip.

I know, it sounds a little arrogant. Just what exactly makes me brilliant or a master of road tripping?

Marc and I have loved to travel ever since we first met (on a mission trip, incidentally). As newlyweds we drove the length of every major highway in Alaska (only three, but still). When my oldest son was one and I was three months pregnant, we drove over 4,000 miles as we relocated across the country to central Illinois (nine travel days). Since then we’ve taken a family road trip almost every year. We’ve been to the East Coast, the South, and the West Coast (see that epic trip here).

We’ve learned a few things.

Most recently we took a relatively short little hop over to New England, two days each way, with an extra travel day so we could get a glimpse of Niagara Falls in New York. Piece of cake.

This has been one of the smoothest and cheapest vacations we’ve ever taken.

To celebrate our return, I thought I’d share some of the tricks of the road. My most important piece of advice is to enjoy the journey. Don’t rush the travel time; make it enjoyable. I know some people like to go at a grueling pace that includes driving all night; that just seems exhausting and not fun. Make the most of these moments with your kids when you have hours upon hours together to talk and make memories. What an incredible opportunity.

Getting ready to go

Give yourself adequate prep time

If you’ve ever gone on a trip, you’ll know there is a ridiculous amount of stuff to do before you leave. Try to clear out your schedule the week before.

Clean out and wash your car

Your car is going to get trashed anyway, but you will have such an easier time on the road when you’re not dealing with dirt on top of dirt.

Do necessary repairs/oil change on your car

You really do not want to be wasting your precious vacation time in the shop.

Go grocery/supply shopping

You might need more than you think. Make lists for food, supplies and entertainment. Don’t forget the sunscreen, bug spray, etc.

Plan to get rid of your perishable food

Eat it, give it away or freeze it.

Clean your house

You’ll thank yourself later. Break it up into five days if it helps.

Make arrangements for your pets/plants/mail/etc.

Don’t save it for the last minute. Do it early so you’re not scrambling.

Plan laundry accordingly (and try to pack light!)

You could take dirty clothes along and plan to wash them later…but you don’t want to.

When you have family, especially little kids who require diapers and toys and bedding, your trunk space can fill up quickly. Where possible, do laundry (call ahead to where you’re staying to see if they offer it). Bring along a small bottle of detergent.

One other trick I learned this past trip: pack a separate bag for your travel days. That way when you pull into a hotel or wherever you’re staying for the evening, you don’t have to take in aaaaaalllll of the luggage. You can consolidate everything when you arrive at your destination.

Make a packing list…and pack

Stating the obvious here, but don’t put this all off until the night before. Put stuff you need to pack aside in the days leading up to your departure.

Prepare your electronic devices

I have a 16GB phone and it’s always packed…and so if I want to take any photos I better be sure it’s pretty empty when I leave. Load up all the games/music/whatever and delete the stuff you don’t need before you leave.

Contact your bank/credit card company

Too many times we have had our cards suspended because multiple purchases across state lines was deemed suspicious behavior! Let them know your travel plans.

Food/drink

Snacks

If you’re into bringing homemade stuff on the road, by all means, do that. I am not. We like to run up and down the aisles at Aldi and go crazy with the snack packs. My advice from this last experience is to go easy on the sweet stuff because you will get sick of it. Dried fruit and beef jerky are big winners for us. Be sure to pack enough for the journey there and back, as well as for on location.

Packed meals

Our rule of thumb is to try to limit eating out to one meal a day. So we take a small cooler full of lunchmeat, cheese, yogurt, produce, etc. along with some bread, peanut butter, and jelly. Don’t forget the paper plates and utensils.

Packed drinks

I prefer water, but we do bring a few juice boxes for the kids and cans of Coke for the husband. I bring my thermal coffee cup and try to fill up for free in the mornings. Here’s a fun tip: bring water bottles and fill them up with filtered water at the soda fountains at rest stops.

Eating out

Well it is vacation, after all. Here are some ways to save money:

Go to restaurants on weeknights where kids eat free.
Split meals instead of ordering individual entrees for everyone.
Have everyone drink water.
Make sure your hotels have refrigerators for leftovers. Also leave a little room in the cooler.
Stay at hotels with breakfast provided.

Miscellaneous on the road

Check for tolls

I was raised on the West Coast where toll roads are practically nonexistent. Not so in pretty much every other part of the country. Check on a digital map, which should indicate if there are tolls. If there are a lot of them, see if you can get a transponder that you can mount on your dashboard so that you don’t have to stop at each booth you pass. Our I-PASS for Illinois works in multiple states.

Find points of interest

Your trip will be so much more enjoyable if you intentionally enjoy the journey. You’re exploring the continent, so why not see what historical and geographical sites you can visit? These stops have created some of our favorite memories.

Keep trash bags, paper towels and wipes handy

I hate myself when I don’t.

Fill up on gas whenever you stop

Just a good habit. Coming from people who have gotten pretty nervous when the gas light went on.

Get THIS tool

Want to avoid kids crying and whining because they dropped their favorite toy? Or help distribute snacks to the back seat of the van? You’re welcome.

Entertainment

Books, books and audio books

We always take a trip the library before leaving on vacation so that everyone has a fresh stack of reading material. My husband and I are also huge fans of audio books—and just tried Audible for the first time (get your first book free—or three if you’re a Prime Member)! As the kids get older they can start listening in.

Don’t go light on the batteries/chargers

Just sayin’. We limit electronics at home, but I’ve got nothing against them on the road. Get a plan for keeping all those devices charged. A car charger with multiple USB ports is a great idea if it applies.

Load up the kids with fun/engaging activities

Coloring books are…okay but not awesome. Here’s what we like:

Sticker books (we love Usborne—you can adjust for age)
Melissa and Doug coloring pads
Bubbles, Frisbees, fun outdoor activities for rest stops
Dry erase activity books/boards
Portable games: Travel Bingo is always fun. My boys also like checkers on the iPad.

Road trip games

Here are some of our favorites…you can choose and adjust according to age.

“I Spy”: Someone picks an item outside or in the car and tells people what color is it is; everyone has to guess.
“20 Questions”: Someone thinks of something, and everyone has to ask yes or no questions to guess what it is. We actually don’t limit the number of questions; if it goes on too long, we offer clues.
“Categories”: Pick any category about anything: a genre of movies, certain celebrities, even a type of food. Take turns naming something within that category. Whoever can’t come up with a unique answer is out.
“Would You Rather?” Ask crazy questions: “Would you rather do X or Y?” Like would you rather not be able to talk or not be able to taste for a day?
“License Plates”: This doesn’t have to be competitive but it can be. See if you can find license plates from as many states as possible.
“First Person To See…”: Name something you’d expect to see on the road: a logging truck, a pink convertible, whatever. Whoever spots one first gets a point.

Connecting with others

Contact friends and family along the route

We have saved tons of money simply by letting old friends and family know we were passing through town. It’s not easy housing a family of five, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. Many people are willing to put you up for a night or two—or at least host dinner.

Stay on location with extended family or friends when possible

We always either travel with family or stay with them at our destination. Splitting the cost of a vacation rental property can be so much cheaper than paying for a hotel room night after night.

Keeping it Godly

Being in tight quarters for long stretches with the people who tend to annoy you most can be a bit of a challenge. Here’s how to stay centered.

Make expectations clear to your kids

At the beginning of the trip, make your kids aware that it will be a long drive and that they need to exhibit patience, gratitude and kindness. Hmm that sounds a lot like the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22–23.

Pray together at the beginning of each day

It’s a great way to start the day together as a family whether you’re at home or on the road. This is a good time to ask God for safety and to remind kids about those expectations.

Do a family devotional

You’re all sitting together so why not? Have the kids turn off the games and sing some songs, talk about the Bible, or listen to a sermon.

Coming home

Give yourself time to recover

Think about all you have to do when you get back: unpacking, grocery shopping, laundry, washing the car, organizing your life…sleeping. In the past I would complain about how it took a whole week to recover from a week’s vacation. This time, I devoted a whole day (and part of the next one) solely for recovery. It made a huge difference in my personal sanity. So, don’t go back to work or school or normal life the very next day. Your reentry into your daily routine will be much smoother.

Plan your return meals

The last thing I want to do when I come home is to go out to eat, but I don’t want to cook either! I suggest having some food in the freezer that is easy to put together on your first night or two home.

What other questions do you have, or what road trip hacks do you have to offer? Leave a comment below!

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How We’re Banishing Toy Clutter, For Good

July 20, 2016 by Gina Poirier 6 Comments

Disclosure: this post contains affiliate links. See here for more information.

“It looks like Babies-R-Us vomited in my living room.”

I can’t remember whether it was my husband or someone else who said it, but for some reason this sentiment has stuck with me: how you feel when your sweet and cuddly baby starts accumulating STUFF. It still amazes me how such a tiny being apparently requires more equipment to survive than someone twenty times his size.

You think that eventually you will reclaim your home, but of course…the baby grows and accumulates MORE STUFF. And then once you start adding siblings to the mix, you basically give up.

Earlier this year we started implementing the KonMari decluttering technique in our home. It worked wonders on our clothes (part 1) and our books (part 2), but the rest of the house—what Marie Kondo dubs “miscellany”—loomed in front of me like an unmovable mocking beast. In particular, the toy clutter. It was in every room. Over time I had distributed toy bins throughout the house in an attempt to make it easy to pick up by simply tossing whatever had scattered into the nearest receptacle. This helped some, but more and more it felt like our kids were the ones who owned our house.

toy clutter — Is that the living room? The dining room? The toy room? No one knows…

My husband called it “the kid creep.” Like none of our space was really our own. What’s more, it was overwhelming for the kids when I said, “Time to clean up!” They didn’t know where to start or where to end.

When I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I, like many parents with this problem, was disappointed that there is no section explaining what to do with toys! Neither was there much help in the follow-up manual, Spark Joy. All Kondo really says is that you should teach your kids how to tidy for themselves. Good advice, but…how to even begin???

I’ll be honest: this process has taken a long time, and I could probably do even more. BUT I can say confidently say that over the past couple of months we have eliminated most of our toy clutter. I can breathe again; I feel like I have grown-up space; and my kids aren’t overwhelmed by their stuff. What’s more, they are equipped to clean it up themselves.

If you’re sick of toy clutter, you don’t have to put up with it. It will take some work, but trust me friend, it is soooooo worth the effort. Here’s what I’ve learned as we’ve taken back our house.

Make a pile. Throw stuff out that you don’t love. Rinse. Repeat.

That’s the method, simple as that. We were remodeling over a couple of months, so a lot of our stuff was floating around the house with no permanent home and giving me more anxiety than I like to deal with. I recall at least three separate occasions when I piled all of the toys from a particular location and “KonMaried” them. My kids helped quite a bit because I wanted them to learn how to choose to keep only what they truly like. But a couple of times I went solo…because the task was a little overwhelming for them.

We threw out A LOT: probably at least half. I only kept those toys which have resale/giveaway value, which are currently stockpiled with all of the other former clutter…in the garage.

Give the toys a home in one room.

Once we had sorted and discarded every plaything in the house, I wanted to simplify how we organized them. I moved the vast majority of the toys to our newly remodeled family room. It works to store them in small bins that are easy to access, which makes finding toys as well as cleaning them up simple. I don’t recommend “overorganizing” them because they will just get mixed up again anyway. If you have older kids who would like to keep a certain category separate, then do that (we do with LEGOS). Otherwise, don’t create more stress than necessary. Make your system simple!

We try to keep as many toys as possible out of the kids’ bedrooms. These are now quiet areas. We did keep a few toys that are easy to pick up in there—that fit in one small bin.

This has been a game-changer for me. For the most part, the toys are now downstairs and not scattered all over the rest of our living areas. While rogue toys occasionally sneak into other areas of the house, it’s simple to pick them up and return them to their homes. The kids are much less overwhelmed with cleanup time.

This past week my 18-month-old nephew stayed with us. Since toddlers notoriously scatter stuff everywhere, he put my new system to the test. If you have a toddler, here’s my advice: store their toys in small bins that are easy to carry. Take one bin out during playtime; then put toys back in the bin and put the bin away.

Continue to discard…constantly.

The reason that the title of this post is in the present tense and not the past is that the tidying process with the toys is ongoing. As we’ve reduced the size of our toy collection, I’ve learned that we could do even more. So I’ve discovered the practice of throwing clutter out as I see it. The kids are constantly bringing little knickknacks into the home that they play with for one day and then ignore: things like party favors and fast food restaurant toys. If I find one that isn’t being played with or is broken, I pitch it. No one notices.

Birthdays are also a good time to assess, with the kids, which toys are no longer sparking joy. Plus it’s fun to make room for new stuff that they do love!

Concluding observations

I’ve learned a lot through this process and am continuing to learn. While Marie Kondo doesn’t give any specific advice for toys, I think her “spark joy” method has been extremely helpful as we’ve decluttered our toys.

I believe that there is a separate category of kids’ stuff that I didn’t address here, major clutter-causers: crafts, puzzles, games and building sets. I am not yet on top of these beasts but I hope to be soon.

Finally, if you’ve been following this journey you might notice that quite a lot of time has elapsed since I first started (about six months ago). I feel like I have a long way to go…but I believe in the system and I am going to press on with the rest of my house!

(Please pray for me, haha!)

What’s your biggest obstacle when it comes to decluttering toys? Please leave a comment here or on social media.

How To Rock Your Schedule (Plus Awesome Resources For Moms!)

May 19, 2016 by Gina Poirier 10 Comments

Disclosure: this post contains affiliate links. See here for more information.

Hello, my name is Gina and I have problems. Scheduling problems. Control problems.

I’m not lazy; in fact I know that on many days the thing I need most is to rest. But I can’t figure out when I can fit it in.

Being on time anywhere is a challenge. I have a full day go by and I know I’ve done a lot because the kids are still alive, but I look at the piles of toys and I’m like why???? I have a plan in my head about how my day should go and I don’t stick to it. Some days the word FAIL is plastered to my subconscious mind.

I get angry that there aren’t more hours in a day.

A few months ago I started blogging as a business and honestly, it has thrown me through a loop. Add some remodeling while I’m trying to declutter our house…I’ve had a few meltdowns, okay?

Dealing with my problems has involved some heart digging, but I’ve also had to come up with some practical solutions. I don’t need to feel like every area of my life is flawless, but I do feel like I need to have more sense of control, and less guilt.

I am in control of my schedule, my planner, my to-do lists. They do not run me.

After reassessing how I’m running my life and my household, one the major changes I made was to simply write my daily schedule down. I had done this at the beginning of our school year, but a lot has changed since then. I had an ideal schedule in my head, but there were a lot of nebulous gaps in it.

After writing my schedule from wakeup to bedtime, I’ve learned several things:

I have more time than I thought.
Social media is the biggest time-waster ever.
My kids are happier on a predictable schedule.
I feel less guilt about relaxing when I schedule it in.
I do have time to clean, cook and shop when I set aside the time to do it.
I’m more disciplined about taking care of myself and being healthy.

Trust me, even if you recoil at structure, this is so worth doing! Just try it! It doesn’t matter if you’re a stay-at-home, work-at-home or work-outside-the-home mom; you will benefit from scheduling your time at home.

Here are some general tips I have when creating your ideal schedule:

Be as specific as possible, but realize that these are just guidelines. Remember, you own your schedule. It doesn’t own you.
Give yourself a couple of “free” periods throughout the day that will give you time to catch up if you fall behind on scheduled tasks (or if you need more time to relax or play with your kids!).
Be very selective about what you do when your kids are asleep, including before they wake up, naptime and after they go to bed. Those are the times I absolutely need quiet—to read, pray, write or spend time with my husband. I try to get ready for the day or for bed when the kids are getting ready so I’m not wasting that precious sleep time doing things like brushing my teeth.
Include self-care times like relaxing or spending time with your spouse or going out with the girls.
Consider tasks that you can distribute throughout the week, such as working on a particular project or cleaning a certain area of the house. Try to do it on the same day each week; that way you won’t put it off.
Schedule time for essentials like errands, budgeting, organizing, whatever. I do those during our “free times” as needed.

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I’ll share my daily schedule here, just to give an example. This is my schedule, for the month of May, 2016. I have three kids, ages 3, 5 and almost 7, and we homeschool. Your routine might look like it…or not. I will adjust it again when summer vacation starts at the end of the month, and I will probably adjust again later. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but seeing someone else’s schedule on paper can give you a little bit of guidance.

6:00	Wake up, read Bible, pray, work out
7:15	Kids wake up, breakfast, morning chores, get ready
8:30	Check email and social media
9:00	Homeschool
10:30	Free time or morning activity (parks, etc.)
12:00	Lunch, afternoon chores
1:00	Homeschool
2:00	Quiet/nap time for kids, writing/work for me
4:00	Free time
5:00	Make dinner, eat, clean up
6:30	Evening activities (vary)
8:00	Bedtime routine
9:00	Kids go to sleep, spend time with husband, relax
10:30	Sleep

Once school is wrapped up for the year, our schedule will adjust slightly. We won’t do school in the morning, so that time will be set aside for activities or household projects.

Since no one is exactly like me, I thought I’d link to a few ways other moms make their schedules:

Daily Schedules for Stay at Home Moms (for older or younger kids) via Our Small Hours

Toddler and Preschooler Daily Schedule via Tales of Beauty for Ashes

Time Blocking via Hey Donna

How To Balance a Business and a Baby without Going Insane via Brilliant Business Moms

Why a Stay at Home Mom Schedule Matters via Military Wife and Mom

Why and How To Make a SAHM Schedule via What You Make It

If you need more ideas, there are plenty on my Pinterest boards: Plan and Organize and Home Management.

And if you REALLY want some coaching through this, there are even more incredible resources out there:

Rhythms, Routines & Schedules by Rachel Norman and Lauren Tamm: ideas for simplifying and streamlining your life with kids from infancy through school age. I sooooo wish I had read this when my kids were babies; it provides many specific examples and ideas for how to manage your time when you very needy little ones.

Make Over Your Calendar by Crystal Paine: Crystal from Money Saving Mom is the expert on everything like this. She runs a very successful business while raising a family so she knows her stuff. This is a free video course, full of practicals. And if your really love Crystal, check out her popular courses: Make Over Your Mornings, Make Over Your Evenings and Make Over Your Year! I pretty much stalk her, FYI.

Family Systems: How to Automate Your Housewife Life by Hilary Erickson: I LOVE these ideas about how to make your home run like a well-oiled machine; I’m working through this eBook now! So much practical, sanity-saving advice.

You don’t have to be drowning in day-to-day life. While we all have unique circumstances, applying some of these wise principles provided by wise women WILL help.

And remember, as I often say, don’t look at all the examples and then feel insecure or overwhelmed because you don’t feel like you “have it together” like everyone else seems to. Even the best of us have horrible days. If you struggle with this, I think you’ll be encouraged by reading my free devotional, Woman of Strength.

The Need to Compare

1. Fearing the Lord

2. Prioritizing Your Marriage

3. Intentionality with Homemaking

4. Treating Yourself with Dignity

5. Generosity

Balance and Proverbs 31: the Modern Takeaway

Your turn: what do you have trouble balancing in your life? What could you learn from Proverbs 31 that could help that?

Personal Goal-Setting Hacks for the Lazy Mom

1. Pray

2. Brainstorm

3. Prioritize

4. Plan

5. Evaluate

Leave a comment: what is your biggest obstacle to setting goals and achieving them? What advice from this post do you think you can you implement to overcome it?

How a 7-Day Time Log Helped Me Get My Daily Schedule Under Control

Getting Enough Sleep Takes Effort

Things Take More Time Than You Think

Taking Care of Kids is No Joke

Breaks Are Crucial

The Daily Rhythm is Sacred

It’s an Ongoing Learning Process

What Next?

Well, what do you think? Do you think a time log can help you get your daily schedule under control?

3 Reasons Why You’re Failing At Homemaking

1. You set the bar too high.

2. You don’t know what you don’t know.

3. You don’t ask for help.

How To Not Fail at Homemaking

Are you “failing” at homemaking? Which of these tips will help you most?

5 Time Management Tips for Moms—When Life is Crazy

Home Organization: How To Create a Realistic Plan and Not Feel Bad about Yourself

1. Get Over Yourself Already

2. Get a More Realistic Vision

3. Make a Plan

4. Follow Through

Getting ready to go

Food/drink

Miscellaneous on the road

Entertainment

Connecting with others

Keeping it Godly

Coming home

Make a pile. Throw stuff out that you don’t love. Rinse. Repeat.

Give the toys a home in one room.

Continue to discard…constantly.

Concluding observations