Encouragement for Moms Archives

5 Promising Bible Verses for the Lonely Mama

March 3, 2021 by Gina Poirier 5 Comments

As a stay-at-home mom, I am never alone. Ever.

Even when the kids are sleeping, my “mommy radar” is constantly up, making sure that they’re breathing and safe. Even when I can leave the house without them, those little beings consume my thoughts.

And yet, motherhood is one of the loneliest jobs around. The constant noise sometimes makes me want to retreat into a little cave, while at the same time I crave connection with another human taller closer to my height.

Fellow comrades, mamas (whether you work outside the home or are with the kids all day), I KNOW you get lonely too—especially since 2020.

Even if you’re on the introverted side like I am, no one can really do it solo. In fact, that’s not how God designed us. This whole construct of a “stay-at-home mom” being isolated all day with kids is the opposite of what mamas past had. We were created to be relational, to be in small communities with extended relatives and friends, raising kids together and giving each other the support we need.

Nonetheless here we are.

Fortunately we’re never truly alone. I believe that while God designed us for community, he knew that some of us would be going solo sometimes. And that’s why he’s there for us, no matter what season we’re in.

5 Promising Bible Verses for the Lonely Mama

1. Joshua 1:6–9

Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
emphasis added

Joshua was a man who knew loneliness: standing up for what was right when nearly everyone else turned their back on him. Later in his life, God gave him this battle call before Joshua led the Israelites into the Promised Land. And likewise, we are going into battle every day for our families. Take courage, mamas, because God will be with you wherever you go. Stay in his Word and follow his lead.

2. 1 Kings 19:11–13

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
emphasis added

For an encouraging study, read the whole saga of Elijah from 1 Kings 17 to 1 Kings 19. One of the most powerful prophets of the Old Testament, he had fled everything he knew. He was completely alone and prayed that he would die. So God came and whispered to him gently. And then God invited Elijah to speak more to him. I’ll leave it up to you to draw your own conclusions from the story, but if you read on, you’ll see that in the end, God brought Elijah a new best friend: Elisha. He was never alone again, up until his last day. If you’re in the depths, cry out to God (even if it sounds ugly). See what happens.

3. Psalm 22:19–21

But you, Lord, do not be far from me.
You are my strength; come quickly to help me.
Deliver me from the sword,
my precious life from the power of the dogs.
Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;
save me from the horns of the wild oxen.

This is one of my favorite Psalms, and I encourage you to read the whole passage. It is the voice of King David expressing his own emotions, but it is simultaneously a prophecy about Jesus dying on the cross. The Psalm starts with, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” This is also what Jesus uttered as he died (Matthew 27:46). But look how the Psalm ends.

In the case of David, in the case of Elijah, and even in the case of Jesus, all had to hit rock bottom—alone—before God lifted them up in victory. You might be alone right now mama, but TRUST that God is working in your life to bring you back up. Don’t hesitate in asking him to rescue you—although maybe not from lions and wild oxen (wild toddlers can be scary too).

4. Matthew 28:18–19

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
emphasis added

Is this passage just for the first disciples, or just for missionaries or church leaders? Who is doing a lot of the grunt work when it comes to “making disciples” (besides God himself of course)? Parents. Mamas, this passage is for you. You are doing holy work, day in and day out, and Jesus is with you. He promised.

5. 1 John 4:16–19

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We love because he first loved us.
emphasis added

I add this one last, mamas, because sometimes we need a little push. Perhaps need to put yourself out there and express your needs for friendship, as well as offer your own love to others. This is especially difficult because most of us have experienced hurt and loss in our relationships. But don’t let fear be your master; act in love. This verse has helped me time and again.

Take heart, mamas. You will get through your lonely times.

Want to keep these verses handy? You can now download them in a printable form! Just click below:

If you liked this post you might also like my other verses for mamas.

Do you have any favorite verses that get you through loneliness? Please share them in the comments!

11 Bible Verses for the Exhausted Mama

May 26, 2020 by Gina Poirier 21 Comments

Are you an exhausted mama looking for some encouragement? Join the club! I originally posted this on 3/19/16, and due to its popularity, I decided to update it. You can find a printable reference sheet for these Bible verses and many more in my collection of resources for Christian moms, which you can access by clicking below. Enjoy!

This past week kicked my butt a little bit. Normally I don’t publish a new post on a Saturday, but well, here you go. It’s just part of the season I’m in right now. As are many of you.

While I’m not up at all hours of the night breastfeeding anymore, I remember all too well what that was like. And mastitis. Then croup. Stomach bugs. Crazy rashes. Even when the kids aren’t sick, there are project deadlines. Too many appointments. Potty training. A messy house. Little people to feed constantly. Family drama. Friend drama. Work piling up. Loneliness.

Us mamas be tired! EXHAUSTED!

11 Bible Verses for the Exhausted Mama article from Gina M Poirier

I woke up Friday morning planning to go pray and work out. Nope. Not happening. My son, who had been vomiting all day the previous day, crawled into bed with me and I stroked his hair. Soon I had all three kids on top of me, squirming and competing with one another for the most comfy spot.

And while I wasn’t doing anything I had planned, and my daughter smelled of wet overnight diaper and little feet were not-so-gently jabbing my ribs, I decided to relish in that moment.

We mamas do holy work, you know. We need to remember that in the most mundane or even ugly moments, we are doing what is good. It’s inspiration in the everyday.

It took me about seven hours to feel awake, but I finally got to sit down and think about what encourages me when I’m feeling completely wiped out. I flipped through my falling-apart Bible, the one with bent pages and the out-of-date translation, and found my favorite Bible verses. The ones with smudged ink and lopsided stars and long sections underlined.

These Bible verses have been a breath of fresh air to me during tired times, and I hope they are to you too. All verses are from the NIV.

Verses on Finding Rest

Matthew 11:28–29

Come to me [Jesus], all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Rest starts with turning to Jesus.

Isaiah 40:30–31

Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

God is like a mother eagle who takes me on her wings and teaches me to fly.

Psalm 62:5–6

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

Repeat: I will not be shaken.

Verses on Perseverance

James 1:2–4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

A rough day? I must be growing.

Romans 12:1

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

When I feel like I’m sacrificing everything? I am worshiping God.

Romans 5:3–5

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Yep I’m growing. And there’s hope.

2 Corinthians 4:16

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

And each day is a new one, amen.

Verses on Finding Strength

2 Corinthians 12:9–10

But [God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

My times of weakness are when God’s strength shines through.

Philippians 4:4–7

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Prayer. And the peace of God.

Hebrews 6:10

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

God sees when I’m changing diapers and cleaning up vomit and cooking meal after meal. And he won’t forget.

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

To be still is to stop stressing. Because God is God.

Want to keep these Bible verses handy? You can now download them in a printable form! Just click below:

What are your go-to scriptures when you’re feeling exhausted?

PS You might also enjoy this post from my friend Jenn: 10 Bible Verses about How God is For Us

6 Important Things to Remember When You’re Angry and Frustrated with Your Kids

May 22, 2019 by Gina Poirier 1 Comment

Do you frequently deal with mom anger? (Umm…is there anyone who doesn’t?) This is the #1 problem I hear about from my readers. So if you’re wrestling with guilt and feel helpless to change, know that you’re not alone and you’re in the right place.

Also be sure to check out the Patient Mama Blueprint, which can help you with your anger triggers so you can be more patient with your kids.

It often happens when I’m on the phone.

I’m multi-tasking. I’m usually on a time crunch. Since it’s the 21st century and I don’t talk on the phone much, the call is probably important.

And then one of my kids needs something.

Let me rephrase: they think they need something.

But in reality it’s something they don’t have to ask me about ever, like what happened to their favorite sock that they haven’t noticed was missing for three years until this very instant (and now it’s an emergency).

BOOM.

I explode. Maybe I don’t always yell at the top of my lungs, but I give the nasty look. And I talk in that tone.

Let’s be honest. I get downright scary.

On good days, I pull myself together and apologize. On bad days, this is just the beginning of moment after moment of regret.

Mom anger is real. And it’s even understandable. But if you’re like me, angry does not describe who you really want to be for your kids, or anyone else.

And you know God has called you to better than this.

But no matter how hard you try, you can’t just will yourself to be a more calm, patient mom.

So, what do you do? While I’d love to give you a quick and simple answer to the mom anger problem, I can’t, because there isn’t one (although you can check out my anger management eCourse if you want to dig deeper).

But what I can do is share with you some of what I remind myself on the days when my anger just feels out of control. While it doesn’t fix everything, a healthy mindset matters.

So the next time you’re about to explode when your kids are arguing over what cartoon to watch before you’ve even had your coffee, take a deep breath and remember these things.

Mom Anger: 6 truths to remember when you're angry and frustrated with your kids

1. Anger Is a Part of Being Human

When I consider how ugly anger can be, I can’t help but wonder, why did God make me this way?

I’ve wrestled with this question biblically. Was there anger before the fall? Is there such a thing as righteous anger? Was Jesus expressing his anger when he flipped tables at the temple?

My current thought is that anger is a part of our biology, and therefore God has a purpose in letting us experience it. So what is the purpose?

Throughout the Scriptures, God himself is angry at times. But even so, he is frequently described as “slow to anger” (also translated as “longsuffering”). He is abounding in love, and therefore keeps his anger at bay (Psalm 103:8).

Furthermore, God’s anger is always, in my observation, related to his response to injustice and oppression. When Creation turns on itself, he reacts in protective anger.

He brought judgment on the Egyptians for enslaving and oppressing his people (Exodus). He brought judgment on idolatrous pagan practices that abused women and children (Joshua). And he eventually brought judgment on his own people for disobeying him and treating the outcast and the helpless with contempt (the Prophets).

So what are we to learn from our God who is zealous about protecting and restoring his Creation?

Our anger is there to protect. Not just ourselves, but for those around us who are hurting and oppressed.

Having said that, it is my belief that anger should be approached with great caution:

‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold…Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
–Ephesians 4:26–27, 31

Anger, while not a sin in and of itself, is a great stumbling block for many of us. So while we shouldn’t deny that it is a part of humanity, we also have a responsibility to respond to it in a godly way.

2. Mom Anger Is Usually a Symptom of Something Deeper

A friend of mine who is a child psychologist says that anger is a “buddy feeling.” It always has a buddy to go along with it (like fear or hurt).

In other words, anger is a symptom of something else going on.

When you think of anger being protective, this makes a lot of sense. You can react in anger as a way to protect yourself when you’re feeling vulnerable.

Anger can also be a learned response. If you grew up in a household with a lot of yelling, chances are, you yell too.

With this in mind, one way you can deal with mom anger is to prayerfully consider what is really going on. With a more accurate assessment of your emotions, you can find healthier coping mechanisms.

Some questions you might ask yourself after an anger episode include:

What is the true feeling that I may be substituting with my anger?
What specific circumstances triggered this episode?
Did I overreact? Why?
What patterns am I seeing in my behavior?

It takes a lot of practice to become truthfully self-aware. I often talk through some of these questions with my husband or a friend. And of course, in prayer.

If you’re not sure where to start when assessing the deeper issues behind your anger, the Patient Mama Blueprint can point you in the right direction.

3. You Can’t Pour Out of an Empty Vessel

You know what solves the vast majority of behavior issues with little kids (and even older ones)? I can usually narrow it down to three things:

Food
Sleep
Love/attention

When your kids are well-fed, well-rested and being showered with genuine affection, their needs are met. They have nothing to complain or get angry about.

Have you considered that the same logic can apply to you, as their mom?

Anger can simply be a sign that you’re running on empty.

We joke in my household about my tendency to get hangry, but I’m sure that many of you who relate will concur that it’s not a laughing matter. In fact, my husband knows me well enough to ensure that we save serious conversations for after meals.

It’s hard as a mom to make sure that your needs are met, because in reality, everyone else’s needs take priority. But, in my opinion, this gives me all the more reason to make sure that I am nurturing myself to the best of my ability.

That means being intentional about rest and protecting my self-care practices. I go to bed early and make sure I get up before my kids. I limit my phone usage so that I’m not mindlessly scrolling when I should be focusing on self-care that actually fills my tank.

You might be in a season when this is really hard to do. I’ve been there. I get it. But try to make it happen anyway. You don’t have to hit every target; just aim in the right direction.

4. You May Need to Adjust Your Expectations

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned from over a decade of marriage is that expectations are a huge part of making a relationship work.

Whenever I’m angry at my husband, it’s almost always because he didn’t meet an expectation. Sometimes that expectation has been expressed. Often, it has not (not even to myself).

Unrealistic, unclear or uncommunicated expectations are a recipe for anger outbursts because they lead to misunderstanding, hurt and distrust.

The same principle applies to my relationship with my kids. I often become angry with them because I am expecting them to act in a way that they are incapable of acting. It is not their job to know how to do everything according to my whim.

It is my job to teach them about how to live as respectable, responsible humans. It is their job to be kids.

When I’ve made my expectations clear to my kids, I find that I am much less likely to get angry with them, even when they don’t follow through.

For example, when my 6-year-old doesn’t pick up her room, I can assess whether she is at fault for disobeying, or I am at fault for not equipping her with the skills to obey. If she is at fault, she receives a consequence that she knows in advance. If I am at fault, I need to continue to teach and train her how to clean her room adequately.

In short, you can prevent mom anger simply by expecting kids to behave according to their age and ability. You can calmly follow through with consequences, or continue to teach your kids how to meet your expectations as they develop.

5. You Are Not Doing This Alone

It amazes me whenever I receive a message from a reader. So many of you say the same thing over and over again: you want to be more patient with your kids.

In other words, you are not the only one who is struggling, mama. So reach out and find your people!

Motherhood can feel very isolating, whether you’re at home with your kids most of the day or running around from the office to the pickup line and trying to balance it all.

It took me a while to find my people, but now I can’t imagine trying to survive life without some dear friends in the trenches with me, as well as mentors who have been down this road before.

What’s more, God is with you on your motherhood mission.

Fight for friendships. Fight in prayer. Get the support you need, because no one should go into battle alone.

6. You CAN Grow Out of Mom Anger—with God

I know what helplessness feels like. You try and try and try to change, only to come full circle and realize you’re falling into the same old, ugly pattern.

Too often when it comes to overcoming mom anger or any other personal flaws, we don’t have any strategy except to just…try harder. (And how is that going for you?)

Patience and self-control are what we’re aiming for when combating mom anger, right? These qualities are fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22–25).

And how do experience that fruit? Do we go chasing after it?

Nope. According to Jesus, we remain in him, the vine (John 15:5). He does the hard work for us.

I know that talking about the Holy Spirit can feel a little weird and mystical. But remaining, or abiding, in the vine involves a lot more than treating God like a vending machine (input prayer; output answer).

Growing in the Holy Spirit involves wrestling through your weaknesses in prayer and other spiritual practices. It doesn’t happen overnight. But in my experience, it’s the way that brings lasting change, for you and your household.

If you’re sick and tired of dealing with mom anger and want to be more patient with your kids, go ahead and get some prayer and journaling prompts with the Patient Mama Blueprint. Plus, I’ve got lots of other resources I’ll also send your way if you sign up!

Okay mamas, now I want to hear from you: do you deal with mom anger? How and when? How do you think these tips can help you?

To the Mom in Survival Mode: You’re Stronger Than You Think

May 10, 2019 by Gina Poirier 18 Comments

Dear mom in survival mode,

I know you. Some days you like to wear sunglasses so no one can see those red, puffy eyes.

Maybe you were crying on the way to your kid’s soccer game because you just couldn’t take it that morning. You slept in, the kids fought, you were running late. At least in the car you could turn up the music, take a few deep breaths, release those tears so that you could pull yourself together.

Maybe you got so little sleep last night that you’re not even sure whether it’s safe for you to drive. You were up all night with the baby. Or with the sick kid. Or with your worries.

Maybe you’ve got the kid with all of the “issues.” Health issues. Behavior issues. Issues that no one seems to understand. Your family can’t do normal things because your child simply can’t handle it. You’re exhausted from the appointments with the specialists. You wonder about who’s passing judgment.

Keep surviving, Mom.

Maybe you’re the one with all of the “issues.” Physical issues. Mental health issues. You know you need to take care of yourself but there are so many needs that come before your own. You can’t get rest when there are mouths that need sandwiches and scraped knees that need bandaging.

Maybe you’re wondering about your marriage. How you got to be just roommates, or why you keep having the same fight over and over and over.

Maybe you’re worried about your best friend, or your sister. She texts you late at night about the years-long fight she’s having with her husband. Is she crazy? She asks you. She’s scared. Should she leave him? You’re at a loss for helpful advice.

Maybe you’re the one in a years-long fight. With your husband, your mother, your sibling.

Maybe you’re looking around your house, wondering when it’s ever going to be clean, or when that remodel is ever going to be done, or when you’ll finally be unpacked from the move that was many months ago. You don’t have the time or energy to work on it, and yet you push. Push. Push yourself.

Hang in there, Mama. Keep surviving.

Maybe your child is going through a tough phase. They’re making shocking decisions. They know better than that. But they’re becoming their own people, and you have to let them fall. It’s terrifying.

Maybe you’re grieving. You’re numb one minute, sobbing the next. Everyone wants to help and is worried about you, but there’s nothing they can do to return what was lost. You are finding healing, but there are moments when the wound is just raw all over again.

Maybe your workload is suffocating you, whether it’s your job, your side projects, or facilitating your kids’ education and activities. Some days you look at your schedule and you feel like you can conquer the world. Other days, you just want to toss your planner across the room. (Or maybe you can’t even find it or haven’t used it in weeks. Or ever.)

Maybe someone you care about deeply is hurting. That friend who can’t get pregnant, the one who lost a child, the one who’s stumbling through a divorce, the one who is battling cancer. You desperately want to be there for them but you’re not even sure how to begin to help.

Maybe you’re stressed about your cash flow. There are days when you wonder when you’ll ever feel like you have enough. Enough to pay the bills, enough to tuck into savings, enough to throw a good birthday party, enough for that surprise expense you know you should have planned for better.

Keep surviving, mama.

You relish in those moments when you can just get away. To go out with your girlfriends, your husband, or just be by yourself. You feel guilty about wanting to escape your kids so badly, yet at the same time you know it’s exactly what you need.

Your life isn’t so bad, you remind yourself. There are many others who are suffering so much more than you. You grasp for joy and gratitude, you pray, you lean into your faith. You do everything right. And yet you have a lot of days when you need to hide those puffy eyes behind your sunglasses.

You’re tired. Really tired.

Let me tell you something, sister.

You are a phenomenal person. Yes, you.

You work so hard. And no one really understands all the crazy little details that go into a single day in your unique situation, and probably never will. Even when you’re relaxing, your mind is always churning, worrying, planning.

And do you know why?

Because you love these people. You adore your kids and your spouse, even when they make you absolutely bonkers. You’re crazy about your friends, your parents, your siblings. You’d go to the moon and back for them, even if you’re infuriated with them.

You do holy work. All. The. Time.

Of course you’re exhausted. Because even though everyone tells you that you need a break, this job of loving never stops.

Yes you need to take care of yourself, so go do that. Go get that manicure, splurge on the latte, bring home that bottle of wine for Tuesday night. But you know as well as I do that you’re going to go right back to it all: pouring yourself out for everyone, day and night, until you literally have nothing left to give.

That’s just the way it is.

Be proud of yourself, friend. You are a warrior, a woman of strength; you are going to get wounded. But you’re going to be okay.

If you have faith, continue to cling to it. And someday, when those babies have babies who have babies, you’ll get to look back and know that it all mattered. Every tear, every sleepless night.

You got this.

:::

Need a break that will fill you up? Let me help you. Click below for a checklist and life-giving strategies.

How are you feeling today, mama? If you’re in survival mode, what’s one thing you could do to be kind to yourself?

10 Bible Verses for the Grumpy Mama

August 14, 2018 by Gina Poirier 17 Comments

Feeling like a grumpy mama? I’ve created lists of Bible verses for FAST access when I need them most—whether I’m feeling grumpy, anxious, exhausted, overwhelmed, and a lot more. Sign up below for access to the whole collection.

You know what my favorite sound in the world is?

Three little voices talking—no, screeching—at the same time, arguing over whose turn it is to pick out a cartoon.

I also love the sounds of “uh oh” coming from the bathroom, of glasses of milk spilling onto my laptop, of Legos being dumped all over the floor, which I know will eventually implant themselves into the bottom of my bare foot.

You know, the sounds of my life. Grating music to my ears.

Do you ever feel like you want to just hide and disappear under 59 layers of blankets in the morning? Or maybe just go for a run…indefinitely? Or invent the 100 percent effective earplug? Maybe that’s just me…

I suppose it’s not my kids’ fault that I’m human, that I can only take so much chaos before I start to bark like a wounded animal. Some days I can keep my cool, but on other days I literally go into my room and start growling until I can get enough of it out of my system to compose myself again. This is a natural human response, correct?

I have issues.

This post was inspired by a grumpy mama day. Well, actually many grumpy mama days. I decided it would be a good idea to put a bunch of helpful scriptures into one place so that when I’m starting to lose it, I can find my ground again.

Can you relate? Then these are for you.

10 Bible Verses For the Grumpy Mama

On choosing joy and gratitude

1 Thessalonians 5:16–18

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

This is one of my favorites—my kids and I memorized it together. It reminds us that while we can’t control our circumstances, we can nonetheless choose to give thanks, to pray and to find joy.

Philippians 4:4–7

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Again, in every situation we can choose to pray, be thankful and rejoice. This is so powerful when put into practice.

Galatians 5:22–23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

This helps remind me that I have a choice: I can give into my natural state of being, or I can rely on God’s Spirit.

2 Corinthians 13:11

Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

God wants me to be at peace; I want to be joyful and to strive for love and peace within my home.

On praising God

Psalm 28:7

The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
and with my song I praise him.

I just do so much better when I get the focus off myself and onto HIM.

Psalm 104:33–34

I will sing to the Lord all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
May my meditation be pleasing to him,
as I rejoice in the Lord.

By keeping my eyes on him, by literally singing to him, it’s hard to stay self-absorbed.

Isaiah 49:13

Shout for joy, you heavens;
    rejoice, you earth;
    burst into song, you mountains!
For the Lord comforts his people
    and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

God is there for me always; he knows how I feel.

On overcoming trials, big and small

James 1:2-3

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Wait, so working through all my issues makes me more “mature and complete”? That’s encouraging.

Psalm 126:5

Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.

I’ll remind myself of this the next time I’m throwing a mommy fit.

Habakkuk 3:17–18

Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.

If this starving prophet can choose to rejoice, so can I, no matter how hard my day has been.

I hope you find these as uplifting as I have. Having read through them several times as I’ve prepared this post has made me feel more light-hearted. I recommend writing them down as you go through them, which can help you internalize what they’re saying. You can also pray through them.

Want to keep these verses handy? You can now download them in a printable form! Just click below:

If you enjoyed this study, you may also like other posts in my Mama Verses series.

What are your go-to scriptures when you’re feeling like a grumpy mama?

How to Beat Social Media Addiction and Break Up with Your Phone

August 1, 2018 by Gina Poirier 17 Comments

Social media addiction (and smartphone addiction in general) is almost normal these days.

As a mom I find myself wanting to reach for my phone when I should be more focused on my kids. I’m alarmed at how easy it is to slip into a potentially destructive habit unless I’m very deliberate about putting it to a stop.

We often reach for social media because we want an escape, when in reality the constant stimulation backfires and makes us more stressed. If you want to check out some healthier strategies for self-care, be sure to check out my self-care toolkit for Christian moms.

Paul Hanaoka

Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information.

When my first son was born, it didn’t take long for me to figure out that being a mom involves this weird paradox: you are incredibly busy and exhausted on one hand, but on the other hand you can have long bouts of boredom and loneliness.

And if you’re a stay-at-home mom—especially one who came from the workforce—the lack of adult interaction and intellectual stimulation can make you slightly crazy.

I remember nursing my firstborn in the middle of the night, not wanting to fall asleep but not sure how to keep myself occupied. It was 2009 and I had this pretty slick little device—a first generation iPhone.

I caught up on all the latest news among my friends on Facebook. Back then, as I recall, it was pretty basic: just photos and status updates and that was about it. It didn’t take long for me to scroll through my entire newsfeed and realize that I had caught up on pretty much everything anyone had to share.

Flash forward several years later and I have this weird reflex. Any time I get a second to myself, I reach for my phone and wonder about what’s going on via Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Pinterest/Gmail/Wordpress. The amount of information available to consume has exploded, yet most of it lacks much value.

Social media and smartphones aren’t evil in and of themselves, but if I’m not careful I can be stuck to them throughout the day, which affects my productivity and focus on real-life relationships.

I know why I do it—I am addicted. Social media provides some of that mental and social stimulation I want, but too much of it is like binging on candy. The instant validation and stimulation you can get from your phone can release dopamine, which means you can actually get addicted to the pleasure.

Icky. I don’t need that much; I don’t want that much. But breaking the habit is hard.

I’ve been pondering social media addiction a lot lately, perhaps because the problem has worsened since I’ve been building my online business. I suddenly have every reason in the world to be constantly connected. But do I really need to be? There have to be times when I get a break.

Quitting social media or even taking an extended break isn’t an option for me right now. I don’t think it’s necessary either (although for some people it is highly effective). However, I have discovered some strategies of late that have been extremely helpful.

I feel more clear-headed and less…icky. Even when I don’t follow my rules exactly, having guidelines in place is helpful because it gives me a clear way out when I feel like social media addiction is overcoming me again. Here are several habit-breaking strategies, followed by ideas for what to do with yourself with down time instead of social media.

Ideas for Breaking Social Media Addiction

Define social media’s purpose

What is social media really useful for and what purpose does it have in your life? Spend some time thinking about this and write it down. I split my purposes into two categories—personal and business—and made lists. Referring to those lists helps me keep a healthy perspective.

Set daily limits

I have oner or two times a day set aside to sit down and work on social media. And then I get off so I can focus my attention elsewhere. Your day might look different than mine, but I highly recommend figuring out a limit that works for you. Maybe check your accounts once at lunchtime (10 minutes max), and again later in the day. Set a timer if it helps you.

Turn off notifications

Recently I turned off all of my phone’s push notifications, including email—what a relief! I also turned off most of my email notifications from my social media accounts. It’s a lot easier to stick to your limits when you’re not constantly being bombarded. Trust me, you won’t miss anything.

Use your computer instead of your phone

I’ve removed several social media apps from my phone and try to only use the ones that are left when I don’t have access to a computer. This naturally limits the urge to reach for my phone whenever I have a quiet moment.

Don’t check your phone first thing in the morning

This was another thing I used to do out of habit, thinking it would help me wake up. The problem is, when I check my phone first I start thinking about all the information I’m being bombarded with, which makes it really difficult if I want to start the day right—like focusing on prayer!

Here’s a little tip: plug in your phone at night across the room. That way it’s not a temptation when you go to bed or when you first wake up.

Define breaks and boundaries

For the most part I take a break from social media on Sundays and I’m trying to stay off my phone at night. We also don’t have phones at dinner, during family night or other times we connect as a family.

Things To Do Besides Social Media

Read

Who has time to read anymore? You do if you aren’t stuck on Facebook all day. I recently listened to this podcast from Read Aloud Revival about “cultivating a reading life.” When you’re filling up your mind with something substantial, social media is much less enticing. Audiobooks are another method to fit it more reading.

Listen to podcasts

This is so much more interesting than social media! Some of my favorites include Brilliant Business Moms, The Simple Show, and Mom Struggling Well.

Talk on the phone

To break your social media addiction, I never said you had to ditch the phone entirely! Use it the old-school way; call your sister or your mom or your friend and just connect with them. It’s a million times more refreshing than Facebook.

Journal

Even if you’re not a writer, jotting down your thoughts or your prayers has many benefits. (I happen to have a really awesome prayer journal you can download for free!)

Keep your hands busy

Figure out what works for you; some people like to crochet, draw, color or do puzzles and games. I like to play the piano if I have a few minutes. Personally I think it’s more fun when you can make something beautiful.

Start a garden

I have a really pitiful little garden, but when the weather is nice it’s a fun way to pass time when my kids are outside and they don’t need my direct attention.

Keep a paper planner

This is another way I can keep my hands busy and my mind occupied: planning my life! And it keeps me off the phone and helps me feel more accomplished. If you want to learn more about my planning systems check out The Ultimate Time Management Guide for Moms.

Pray or read your Bible

Need motivation? I have a free worksheet called “Let’s Get Motivated” along with lots of other faith-building tools in my Free Resource Collection. Click below to sign up!

Write cards or letters

Whether it’s someone’s birthday or just an opportunity to say you’re thinking about them, writing a card helps you be less self-focused and can be a great way to connect.

Read aloud with your kids

A lot of the books I’ve been digesting lately have been children’s literature. When do kids outgrow the need for you to read with them? Never! I’m loving Read Aloud Revival for some ideas about what to read. Here are also some ideas for books young kids can read to you.

Bake something

Better yet, bake something and give it away. It’s a great opportunity to get your kids engaged in loving others.

Work out

Breaking yourself of the social media habit requires discipline; I find that when I’m exercising regularly, I’m more disciplined in other areas too. These are still my favorite workouts for busy moms.

Follow real news

In other words, not (usually) news you find on Facebook. A couple of non-boring, balanced resources I’ve enjoyed recently include The Skimm and Pantsuit Politics.

Commit to learning a new skill or hobby

Do none of these things appeal to you? Then find something that does. Even if you don’t know how to do it yet, commit to learning it and fill in those “in between” times with mastering it.

I see people like me on their phones all the time. And I think social media addiction is sad when I consider how much of life we’re missing.

Don’t forget: sign up for the self-care toolkit if you want to work on healthier ways to fill up your tank.

What to you do to prevent social media addiction?

10 Encouraging Bible Verses for the Overwhelmed Mama

February 1, 2018 by Gina Poirier 10 Comments

When you’re a mom of young kids, “overwhelmed” can feel like a state of being. Since we’re constantly meeting others’ needs without always filling up our own tanks, it doesn’t take much for us to snap in anger or pass out in complete exhaustion. Encouraging Bible verses, anyone? Yes, please!

The other day I was going through an old journal and came across an entry over three years old. At the time, I had a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old and an infant:

Dear God,
Today was hard. A lot of days are hard. And then I feel guilty for thinking they’re hard.
Because I know my life is good. Incredibly good. I wouldn’t change a thing.
And so I just keep wrestling with my thoughts, one day after another. I grin and bear it through all the poop messes and the tantrums and the moments when I cry because I can’t find my keys and I just want to run away to somewhere very quiet.
Lord, you know me better than I know myself. I try to cling to you in all my desperate moments, even though I feel like I can’t see straight.
What am I doing? Today I feel anxious, uncertain, flustered, overwhelmed, impatient, desperate, angry, fearful and exhausted.
Help me…

It broke my heart when I read this again, even though I knew that I would obviously pull through and we would all be fine. That was a really hard year for me. I felt desperately lonely and may have even been dealing with some postpartum depression.

How did I ever pull through?

It was around that time that I started a very simple practice that kept me grounded in truth rather than the lies of inadequacy that were swirling around in my head. I took a handful of 3×5 notecards and wrote out my favorite encouraging Bible verses on them. I left them in a highly visible place on the countertop in the kitchen. Every time I was having a “mommy moment,” I would whip out those cards and start flipping through them until a found a few that anchored my soul just enough so that I could face the next chaotic moment without screaming.

It didn’t take long before I had most of them memorized. And they remain my go-to verses when I just need to get my head on straight.

10 Encouraging Bible Verses for the Overwhelmed Mama

Brigitte Tohm

I’ve compiled many of my favorites in previous verses, which are now in a popular series of lists of encouraging Bible verse posts I call Mama Verses. It seemed only appropriate to add “overwhelmed” to the list!

Want a printable list of these verses for overwhelmed moms and more? You can find them in my free resource collection.

Finding Strength in God

In general, I get most overwhelmed when I’m leaning on my own ability and strength to get through a chaotic day. It never works. Here are some powerful yet encouraging Bible verses that remind me to rely on God for my strength.

Psalm 63:1

You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.

When I am feeling completely burnt out and overwhelmed, I have to remind myself that what I’m really thirsty for is the Lord. I need to do whatever I can to fill myself up with him.

Psalm 42:11

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

Putting hope in God is the only true remedy to a downcast soul.

Acts 4:13

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

This is becoming a new favorite of mine; I recommend reading the whole passage to understand the context better. We don’t have to be super moms in order to live courageous, meaning lives; we just need to hang out with Jesus!

Trusting God

Believing in God and trusting in God are two related but separate things. I might know in my head that I need to rely on his strength, but if I’m not entrusting my burdens to him, I will only continue spinning my wheels.

Psalm 68:19

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,
who daily bears our burdens.

Read it: this says God is here for me daily. Do I believe it and turn to him?

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

No matter how hard it gets or how overwhelmed I feel, this truth reminds me that there is a bigger picture I might not see.

Waiting on God

I may rely on God and trust him, but sometimes I still have to wait. He never promises that life will be easy, and sometimes I have to be patient before I see answers to my prayers. These encouraging Bible verses remind me that waiting is not a bad thing.

Psalm 27:14

Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.

Be strong! Take heart! And wait. He’ll come through.

Psalm 37:7

Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

It’s easy to get worked up and fret over all the things. But here and in many other places, God says “be still.”

Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

That has to be one of the most encouraging verses in the whole Bible! Don’t give up!

Seeking Help

Don’t you sometimes wish Jesus would just appear in the flesh and give you direct advice (along with a big hug)? Well if that ever happens, I don’t think I need to be worrying about much of anything anymore 🙂 But in the meantime…we’re not alone. God puts people in our lives for a reason.

Galatians 6:2

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

We mamas are carrying a lot of burdens. Other people are not only commanded to help you; they usually want to! We just have to be humble enough to ask: for babysitting, for help with meals, cleaning, you name it.

Ephesians 4:15–16

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

We need each other. Someday, when your life isn’t so crazy chaotic, you’ll be able to pay it forward to some other overwhelmed mom.

These encouraging Bible verses have saved my life; I hope they are able to help you too.

By the way, you know that journal entry I mentioned at the beginning? It ended with this:

You are good, God. You love me, you help me, and that’s all I need to know. Thank you. Amen.

Want to keep these verses handy? You can now download them in a printable form! Just click below:

What helps you when you feel overwhelmed as a mom? Please leave a comment here or on social media.

Note: all scriptures used in this post are NIV.

Yes, You’re Failing at Parenting (and Why That’s a Good Thing)

January 18, 2018 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

I killed the family fish last weekend. It has felt like one of my worst moments as a parent.

I was trying to do everything right. Fifty percent water change, wiping off the algae. Temperature regulation, gentle handling, water conditioner. Check, check, double check.

Rudy, our adolescent betta who hadn’t even grown his long fins yet, apparently didn’t like it. He died in protest within three hours.

I was devastated.

Being a pet murderer is bad enough as it is. But I thought of my tender-hearted boy, James, who was sleeping along with his siblings at the time I discovered the untimely death. I thought of the way his shoulders shook when he sobbed at the loss of the last fish, who had been our companion for many months.

I had failed him as a parent. My incompetence was making him suffer.

Senjuti Kundu

These moments, as much as I try to laugh about them in retrospect, are humbling. As I tossed and turned in my bed, thinking about the dead fish in the tank, I fought away tears. I couldn’t help but wonder…if I fail at the little things, how can I handle the big ones?

I know I can’t be a perfect parent. We all do. But maybe instead of trying to brush off my shortcomings, I should embrace them head-on.

I’m failing at parenting. All the time.

From losing my temper to fish murder, I fail. I wound tender hearts and chip away at their innocence. And yet in spite—no because—of this, we are all the better because it reminds me that I am not Jesus. What a relief.

It was morning. I gently lifted poor Rudy’s tiny stiff body from the tank into a small plastic cup. He had been full of life just 12 hours before. I dreaded the next step: waking the kids and starting the day with the sordid news. My husband Marc wanted to participate in the bathroom flush funeral before he left for work.

“Why did he have to die?” James asked tearfully. But not sobbing.

Because Mommy is stupid and she killed him. Did I say that out loud?

“God decided it was his time,” Marc said candidly but gently. “We don’t know all the reasons.”

James handled this loss better than the last one. (They’re tougher than we think, you know.) A few tears fell, hugs were exchanged, and he acknowledged the way of the world. He’s starting to understand death, suffering and the consequences of the fall, whether they result from my mistakes or someone else’s.

Incidentally, after a call to the pet shop, the diagnosis was that I had overdone the tank cleaning. As hard as I had tried to get it just right, I had removed too much of the bacteria in the environment, and the fish had gone into shock.

Imagine that. Death from being too clean. It’s not the first time that trying so hard to attain purity on my own strength has backfired.

As hard as I try, I can’t protect my kids from my shortcomings and failures. But through my weaknesses, God reveals a little bit of himself.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
—2 Corinthians 12:9

James didn’t blame me. I held him tenderly as we cried. My mistake revealed truth and brought us closer together.

And that is how God works through our brokenness, that his strength, through love, might pull us closer to him and one another.

Heaven forbid we should ever get a dog.

Your turn: do you ever feel like you’re failing at parenting? How can you change your perspective?

My Home Workout Routine: How Fitness Blender Gets My Mommy Butt in Shape

January 11, 2018 by Gina Poirier 22 Comments

Hey friends! Are you looking for an effective home workout routine that works well with a busy schedule?

I’ve been using Fitness Blender for several years. I’m a big believer in being a good steward of your body and the rewards that you will reap, and this program has been such a blessing to me that I can’t help but share about it. Try it out!

Fitness is just one important piece of self-care. If you’re looking for ways to improve your physical, mental and spiritual health, check out my self-care resources:

At church recently a young man came up to me and asked me about about my athletic “glory days.” Yeah, for real. Apparently he had been talking to my husband, who told him about my high school soccer days as well as my diving-for-ultimate-frisbee-just-for-fun days in my early 20s. I admit, I was competitive…but that was also over a decade ago.

Now that I’m in my cough ~~early~~ mid-30s, it’s hard to imagine throwing my body around in that way without also imagining the ensuing very expensive trips to the chiropractor, massage therapist, and possibly orthopedic surgeon.

Three pregnancies were rough on my body. The pulled muscles, broken fingers and sprained ankles at the height of athleticism don’t even compare.

After my third baby, I had chronic back pain—it was too painful to run like I used to. I did some home stretching and strengthening home workout videos when I could fit them in a few times a week, but they weren’t enough. I remember one time when I played in a recreational volleyball game and had to lie down the rest of the day from the strain.

What had happened to me? I saw chiropractors and physical therapists, and nobody could diagnose anything other than my core muscles were weak. I made annoyingly slow progress.

Something had to change. The longer I’ve been a parent, the more I’ve come to believe that my physical health is a vital if I’m going to do my job as a mom well. What’s more, it’s very closely linked to my emotional and spiritual well-being—and I have a responsibility to take care of the gift of my health. I needed a new plan that I could work into a my very busy life. Not any easy task to accomplish!

Fortunately, I found something is effective, affordable and simple enough to implement for a busy mama: FitnessBlender.com

Home Workout Routine | Fitness Blender Review | Workouts for Moms

Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information. This is NOT a sponsored post for Fitness Blender; I just think they’re pretty awesome.

My Mom-Friendly Home Workout Routine

Before I get on with this review, I thought I’d point out that motivation can play a big part in following through with your fitness goals, obviously. Check out How To Be Motivated Based on Your Personality Type to learn what might work for you.

When my daughter was about two years old, I started trying out some free videos on YouTube from a website called FitnessBlender.com. It’s run by husband and wife team Daniel and Kelli. Their videos are friendly, fun and accessible to everyone.

I liked the free videos so much that I decided to try their scheduled home workout routines. I had never seriously tried strength training before, and I was hoping this home workout routine would be my ticket to feeling good again.

It was. I took personal fitness tests to track my progress. After just six months of training I could:

Run mile in 6:49.
Do 24 pushups.
Hold an elbow plank for 2:02 (after running a mile and doing pushups!).
Do 89 uninterrupted squats (don’t ask me to do it again though!).

While I only lost a couple of pounds (wasn’t trying to lose weight anyway), I built muscle mass and lost 1.5 inches from my waistline!

My back pain started to diminish and gradually got under control as a result of strength training. That’s the part I’m most excited about.

So what is it about this program that has me raving about it? (By the way, this is NOT a sponsored post; nor I am I affiliated with Fitness Blender, it’s just an honest review!) I can break it down into a few components:

1. Time-effectiveness

My favorite program is called FB30 – 8 Week Fat Loss For Busy People. (Now there are three of them!) With this plan you can plan on working out for around thirty minutes a day or less, five days a week. Sometimes I skip one and do just four—shhh don’t tell them! This can sound like a lot if you’re not in the habit of setting that time aside, but consider that even the US government recommends 2.5 hours a week of “moderate-intensity” physical activity (source).

I usually get my workouts in during the morning. I try to finish before the kids wake up, but on the days when I start late, they will come downstairs and watch me—or even try to imitate it themselves. They’re my mini trainers :).

2. Strength Training

As I said, I had never done any strength training prior to trying this home workout routine. The health benefits of strength training are numerous. Daniel and Kelli teach you everything you need to know to build lean muscle (and burn fat). If you follow one of their programs, they will help you know how to target different muscle groups as well as how to pace yourself. They will also teach your proper form, which is essential for you to achieve the best results as well as prevent injury.

This component has been the game-changer for me. It wasn’t until I started lifting weights that I started noticing significant improvements in my back pain, not to mention overall posture and muscle tone.

3. Variety

At Fitness Blender they are pretty vocal about how they dislike cardio equipment, mostly because it’s boring and ineffective. With their programs you’ll learn a large variety of circuit cardio exercises, including HIIT (high-intensity interval training). It keeps your mind and body engaged. Even if you’re new to fitness, they provide alternatives to help you move at your own pace. I’ve been doing this home workout routine for several years, and I haven’t gotten bored yet!

4. Convenience

All you need for these at-home workouts is a computer with Internet connection and a small space. If you’re serious you’ll want some basic equipment like cross-training shoes, an exercise mat and some weights. Right now I just have a few dumbbells (3 pounds, 5 pounds, 10 pounds and 15 pounds). In the videos they use PowerBlock dumbbells, which seem like the most space- and cost-effective option. I’ve still got my eye on them for the future, but in all honesty the hand weights are just fine for my fitness goals.

5. Positive Message

This is straight from their website:

We started Fitness Blender because we believe that fitness should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their income. We also felt like there was a lack of reliable health and fitness information on the web, and too many people in the industry were more focused on appearance than they were on good health.

Health is what they are all about. They walk the walk and talk the talk, in their videos and on social media. A lot of other fitness programs focus on physical appearance, but they say time and again that superficial motivation isn’t what matters.

6. Cost Effectiveness

You can access any of Fitness Blender’s videos for free. If you want to download one of their programs (highly recommended), you pay less than $15 for eight weeks of training (and you can use it over and over again!). Yeah. Break out your piggy bank.

Who needs a gym membership anymore?

I highly recommend this home workout routine website to anyone, and especially busy moms. You can work their plans around your lifestyle and your fitness level.

Need to level up your self-care on a lot of levels? Be sure to checkout my toolkit!

What works (or doesn’t work) when it comes to home workout routines and your personal fitness? Leave a comment!

Word of the Year: 5 Ways I’m Choosing CONNECTION

January 4, 2018 by Gina Poirier 2 Comments

It was a fall afternoon as I talked on the phone with my friend and mentor and I realized that I was going to have a big cry.

Sob-fests don’t scare me like they used to, and so I let the tears come. I sat in my feelings for about a week, observing, analyzing, praying.

And the diagnostic word began to surface: disconnected.

The conversation that had started my self-examination was about how I was feeling about some of my relationships in church. Disconnected. But then that feeling started to spill over into other areas of my life: work, parenting, finances. Disconnected. Much of how I had spent my time and energy in recent months was mechanical, and whenever I hit a hiccup, my reaction was to disengage, disconnect. I was more interested in checking boxes and crossing items off lists than I was in getting down on my knees, digging in, getting real and getting dirty.

It was humbling when I was honest with myself. I dropped a few more tears and came to peace with my weakness.

And then I decided to take action. We were heading into the holiday season and I knew that I wanted to shift my focus in the New Year (and even before).

I’ve never done a “word of the year” before with much success. Pick one word that is supposed to guide my life for a whole year? It has felt arbitrary, and honestly a bit contrived.

Maybe I’ll feel that way at the end of this year.

Nonetheless, I’ve learned a lot about goal-setting recently, and so at least for this year, a word that provides singular focus makes sense.

Connection. I put it up in my kitchen: my command center, the heart of my home, family and work space. I pass it multiple times a day, and it keeps me centered when I’m pouring milk, writing out my schedule or filing away receipts.

I think I’m onto something here with this word of the year business.

Disclosure: this post contains affiliate links. See here for more information.

5 Ways I’m Practicing Connection as “Word of the Year”

A word like this is inspirational on my kitchen wall, sure, but it’s empty without any way to put it into practice. Perhaps that’s why “word of the year” never really worked well for me in the past; I didn’t have any practical way to put it into practice day in and day out.

And while it would be ironically self-defeating if I watered down my word into a bunch of checklist items, I have spent many hours over the last several weeks mapping out exactly what practicing connection looks like. (I chose Cultivate What Matters PowerSheets this year to help me “make it happen.”)

1. Connection in My Home

I’ve actually done decently in this area, as I’ve worked steadily on decluttering and organizing over the past few years. But where I feel like I’d like to connect more is making my home…a home. A haven.

Three, maybe four years ago, we had the toilet and bathtub replaced in our main floor bathroom. We intended to finish remaking the whole room with new paint, laying tile that we already own, and replacing vanity and the linens. Surely this is not a terribly difficult task.

It’s years later, my friends. Years. I have made zero progress. I felt overwhelmed and uninspired by the project so I disconnected myself from it. We never budgeted for it. I was hoping my husband might take the lead, but it’s just not a high priority to him.

If it’s gonna happen, I must set it in motion.

I’m setting small, attainable goals. I’ll start with a Pinterest board. I’ll make a budget. I’ll block out a Saturday pick out some paint. And step-by-step, we’ll move forward.

And this is how I want to approach alllll of those little things in my home that just make it a little bit lovelier to be in. Connecting, step by step.

2. Connection in My Family

I homeschool my three kids. We have a good routine and rhythm in our home, which I love, but at the same time I can feel a little…checked out. And my kids can feel it.

This year it’s my goal to be intentional about each of my kids’ love languages (as well as my husband’s). I get one-on-one time with at least one of them each week. During that time I’m going to talk through with them what helps them feel loved, and then I’m going to do it! (My quality time kid will be thrilled.) My goal is to collect and record words, photos and mementos from our times together throughout the year. By Christmas, I’ll have a unique gift for each of them that commemorates how our relationship grew this year.

(I love these 25 love language ideas for kids.)

3. Connection in My Work

Last year was a huge year for me in my online business. I took some courses and worked hard to grow my audience, and I put together some digital products that I’m really proud of.

At the same time, by the end of the year I was feeling exhausted with it and, naturally, a little disconnected from my purpose. I’d gotten lost in numbers and productivity, which is the exact opposite of the message I want to communicate!

While I still have number goals, I’m much more interested in narrowing my focus this year and connecting with you. In my stress management course, Chaos to Calm (which I plan to open for enrollment in May), I’ll be doing more live and interactive coaching. In the Wiping Noses for Jesus is Legit Facebook Group, I’m going to be interacting more frequently and strategically to get to know you. As for the blog, I’m hoping to open up a bit more and sharing posts just like this one, where I worry less about the perfect title or presentation and just share my heart.

4. Connection in My Community

It’s hard to stay connected in friendships when you’re in this stage of life. It’s something I’ve continued to battle with, and I feel like I want to engage in my friendships in a deeper and more authentic way.

In addition to some changes in the small group I’m a part of at church, my personal prayer this year is to deepen three of my friendships. I know that’s a bit vague, but practically speaking what this looks like for me is choosing one person in my life whom I will pray for daily over the course of a week. I’m not sure where that will lead, but I’ll bet it will be pretty great.

Another goal is to bridge the gap between my online ministry and my “real-life” one. My hope is that by the fall I’ll be able to gather a group of women together in person to explore some of the topics I’m passionate about, particularly biblical stress management and rest.

5. Connection with God

I’ve actually grown a lot in this area over the past couple of years, particularly in the way I pray, but I know how easy it is to get complacent, lazy and disconnected.

A few years ago I started the practice of writing the Scriptures that spoke to me most on my hard days on notecards and putting them on my kitchen counter. After a time, most of them were memorized.

But then at some point I either misplaced or damaged the cards, and I fell out of the habit. I’m finding that I’m getting slower at recalling the verses I once knew so well. So this year I’m getting back into the habit, and my goal is to memorize one Bible verse a week. And this time I won’t throw out the cards!

There are a few other goals I’m working towards in business, finance, family and even having fun (like reading more fiction and learning to make sourdough!). I might reach them and I might not…but the point with my word of the year is to maintain the right perspective. No matter what I do, I am choosing connection over checklists and processes and perfection?

Have you picked a word of the year? I’d love to hear it and how you plan to live it out in the comments.

And if you need help learning how to map out some of your goals, be sure to check out this free resource, which is part of the free collection I offer for subscribers:

To purposeful living this year,

5 Promising Bible Verses for the Lonely Mama

Verses on Finding Rest

Verses on Perseverance

Verses on Finding Strength

1. Anger Is a Part of Being Human

2. Mom Anger Is Usually a Symptom of Something Deeper

3. You Can’t Pour Out of an Empty Vessel

4. You May Need to Adjust Your Expectations

5. You Are Not Doing This Alone

6. You CAN Grow Out of Mom Anger—with God

Dear mom in survival mode,

Keep surviving, Mom.

Hang in there, Mama. Keep surviving.

Keep surviving, mama.

Let me tell you something, sister.

You got this.

How are you feeling today, mama? If you’re in survival mode, what’s one thing you could do to be kind to yourself?

10 Bible Verses For the Grumpy Mama

On choosing joy and gratitude

On praising God

On overcoming trials, big and small

What are your go-to scriptures when you’re feeling like a grumpy mama?

Ideas for Breaking Social Media Addiction

Things To Do Besides Social Media

Learn More About Biblical Self-Care

What to you do to prevent social media addiction?

10 Encouraging Bible Verses for the Overwhelmed Mama

Finding Strength in God

Trusting God

Waiting on God

Seeking Help

What helps you when you feel overwhelmed as a mom? Please leave a comment here or on social media.

I’m failing at parenting. All the time.

Your turn: do you ever feel like you’re failing at parenting? How can you change your perspective?

My Mom-Friendly Home Workout Routine

1. Time-effectiveness

2. Strength Training

3. Variety

4. Convenience

5. Positive Message

6. Cost Effectiveness

5 Ways I’m Practicing Connection as “Word of the Year”

1. Connection in My Home

2. Connection in My Family

3. Connection in My Work

4. Connection in My Community

5. Connection with God

Have you picked a word of the year? I’d love to hear it and how you plan to live it out in the comments.

AMPLIFY YOUR FAITH

LIVE INTENTIONALLY