Blog – gina m poirier

11 Bible Verses for the Exhausted Mama

May 30, 2019 by Gina Poirier 21 Comments

Are you an exhausted mama looking for some encouragement? Join the club! I originally posted this on 3/19/16, and due to its popularity I decided to update it. You can find a printable reference sheet for these Bible verses and many more as part of the mama verses collection, which you can access by clicking below. Enjoy!

This past week kicked my butt a little bit. Normally I don’t publish a new post on a Saturday, but well, here you go. It’s just part of the season I’m in right now. As are many of you.

While I’m not up at all hours of the night breastfeeding anymore, I remember all too well what that was like. And mastitis. Then croup. Stomach bugs. Crazy rashes. Even when the kids aren’t sick, there are project deadlines. Too many appointments. Potty training. A messy house. Little people to feed constantly. Family drama. Friend drama. Work piling up. Loneliness.

Us mamas be tired! EXHAUSTED!

11 Bible Verses for the Exhausted Mama article from Gina M Poirier

I woke up Friday morning planning to go pray and work out. Nope. Not happening. My son, who had been vomiting all day the previous day, crawled into bed with me and I stroked his hair. Soon I had all three kids on top of me, squirming and competing with one another for the most comfy spot.

And while I wasn’t doing anything I had planned, and my daughter smelled of wet overnight diaper and little feet were not-so-gently jabbing my ribs, I decided to relish in that moment.

We mamas do holy work, you know. We need to remember that in the most mundane or even ugly moments, we are doing what is good. It’s inspiration in the everyday.

It took me about seven hours to feel awake, but I finally got to sit down and think about what encourages me when I’m feeling completely wiped out. I flipped through my falling-apart Bible, the one with bent pages and the out-of-date translation, and found my favorite Bible verses. The ones with smudged ink and lopsided stars and long sections underlined.

These Bible verses have been a breath of fresh air to me during tired times, and I hope they are to you too. All verses are from the NIV.

Verses on Finding Rest

Matthew 11:28–29

Come to me [Jesus], all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Rest starts with turning to Jesus.

Isaiah 40:30–31

Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

God is like a mother eagle who takes me on her wings and teaches me to fly.

Psalm 62:5–6

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

Repeat: I will not be shaken.

Verses on Perseverance

James 1:2–4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

A rough day? I must be growing.

Romans 12:1

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

When I feel like I’m sacrificing everything? I am worshiping God.

Romans 5:3–5

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Yep I’m growing. And there’s hope.

2 Corinthians 4:16

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

And each day is a new one, amen.

Verses on Finding Strength

2 Corinthians 12:9–10

But [God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

My times of weakness are when God’s strength shines through.

Philippians 4:4–7

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Prayer. And the peace of God.

Hebrews 6:10

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

God sees when I’m changing diapers and cleaning up vomit and cooking meal after meal. And he won’t forget.

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

To be still is to stop stressing. Because God is God.

Want to keep these Bible verses handy? You can now download them in a printable form! Just click below:

What are your go-to scriptures when you’re feeling exhausted?

PS You might also enjoy this post from my friend Jenn: 10 Bible Verses about How God is For Us

6 Important Things to Remember When You’re Angry and Frustrated with Your Kids

May 22, 2019 by Gina Poirier 1 Comment

Do you frequently deal with mom anger? (Umm…is there anyone who doesn’t?) This is the #1 problem I hear about from my readers. So if you’re wrestling with guilt and feel helpless to change, know that you’re not alone and you’re in the right place.

Also be sure to check out the Patient Mama Blueprint, which can help you with your anger triggers so you can be more patient with your kids.

It often happens when I’m on the phone.

I’m multi-tasking. I’m usually on a time crunch. Since it’s the 21st century and I don’t talk on the phone much, the call is probably important.

And then one of my kids needs something.

Let me rephrase: they think they need something.

But in reality it’s something they don’t have to ask me about ever, like what happened to their favorite sock that they haven’t noticed was missing for three years until this very instant (and now it’s an emergency).

BOOM.

I explode. Maybe I don’t always yell at the top of my lungs, but I give the nasty look. And I talk in that tone.

Let’s be honest. I get downright scary.

On good days, I pull myself together and apologize. On bad days, this is just the beginning of moment after moment of regret.

Mom anger is real. And it’s even understandable. But if you’re like me, angry does not describe who you really want to be for your kids, or anyone else.

And you know God has called you to better than this.

But no matter how hard you try, you can’t just will yourself to be a more calm, patient mom.

So, what do you do? While I’d love to give you a quick and simple answer to the mom anger problem, I can’t, because there isn’t one (although you can check out my anger management eCourse if you want to dig deeper).

But what I can do is share with you some of what I remind myself on the days when my anger just feels out of control. While it doesn’t fix everything, a healthy mindset matters.

So the next time you’re about to explode when your kids are arguing over what cartoon to watch before you’ve even had your coffee, take a deep breath and remember these things.

Mom Anger: 6 truths to remember when you're angry and frustrated with your kids

1. Anger Is a Part of Being Human

When I consider how ugly anger can be, I can’t help but wonder, why did God make me this way?

I’ve wrestled with this question biblically. Was there anger before the fall? Is there such a thing as righteous anger? Was Jesus expressing his anger when he flipped tables at the temple?

My current thought is that anger is a part of our biology, and therefore God has a purpose in letting us experience it. So what is the purpose?

Throughout the Scriptures, God himself is angry at times. But even so, he is frequently described as “slow to anger” (also translated as “longsuffering”). He is abounding in love, and therefore keeps his anger at bay (Psalm 103:8).

Furthermore, God’s anger is always, in my observation, related to his response to injustice and oppression. When Creation turns on itself, he reacts in protective anger.

He brought judgment on the Egyptians for enslaving and oppressing his people (Exodus). He brought judgment on idolatrous pagan practices that abused women and children (Joshua). And he eventually brought judgment on his own people for disobeying him and treating the outcast and the helpless with contempt (the Prophets).

So what are we to learn from our God who is zealous about protecting and restoring his Creation?

Our anger is there to protect. Not just ourselves, but for those around us who are hurting and oppressed.

Having said that, it is my belief that anger should be approached with great caution:

‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold…Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
–Ephesians 4:26–27, 31

Anger, while not a sin in and of itself, is a great stumbling block for many of us. So while we shouldn’t deny that it is a part of humanity, we also have a responsibility to respond to it in a godly way.

2. Mom Anger Is Usually a Symptom of Something Deeper

A friend of mine who is a child psychologist says that anger is a “buddy feeling.” It always has a buddy to go along with it (like fear or hurt).

In other words, anger is a symptom of something else going on.

When you think of anger being protective, this makes a lot of sense. You can react in anger as a way to protect yourself when you’re feeling vulnerable.

Anger can also be a learned response. If you grew up in a household with a lot of yelling, chances are, you yell too.

With this in mind, one way you can deal with mom anger is to prayerfully consider what is really going on. With a more accurate assessment of your emotions, you can find healthier coping mechanisms.

Some questions you might ask yourself after an anger episode include:

What is the true feeling that I may be substituting with my anger?
What specific circumstances triggered this episode?
Did I overreact? Why?
What patterns am I seeing in my behavior?

It takes a lot of practice to become truthfully self-aware. I often talk through some of these questions with my husband or a friend. And of course, in prayer.

If you’re not sure where to start when assessing the deeper issues behind your anger, the Patient Mama Blueprint can point you in the right direction.

3. You Can’t Pour Out of an Empty Vessel

You know what solves the vast majority of behavior issues with little kids (and even older ones)? I can usually narrow it down to three things:

Food
Sleep
Love/attention

When your kids are well-fed, well-rested and being showered with genuine affection, their needs are met. They have nothing to complain or get angry about.

Have you considered that the same logic can apply to you, as their mom?

Anger can simply be a sign that you’re running on empty.

We joke in my household about my tendency to get hangry, but I’m sure that many of you who relate will concur that it’s not a laughing matter. In fact, my husband knows me well enough to ensure that we save serious conversations for after meals.

It’s hard as a mom to make sure that your needs are met, because in reality, everyone else’s needs take priority. But, in my opinion, this gives me all the more reason to make sure that I am nurturing myself to the best of my ability.

That means being intentional about rest and protecting my self-care practices. I go to bed early and make sure I get up before my kids. I limit my phone usage so that I’m not mindlessly scrolling when I should be focusing on self-care that actually fills my tank.

You might be in a season when this is really hard to do. I’ve been there. I get it. But try to make it happen anyway. You don’t have to hit every target; just aim in the right direction.

4. You May Need to Adjust Your Expectations

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned from over a decade of marriage is that expectations are a huge part of making a relationship work.

Whenever I’m angry at my husband, it’s almost always because he didn’t meet an expectation. Sometimes that expectation has been expressed. Often, it has not (not even to myself).

Unrealistic, unclear or uncommunicated expectations are a recipe for anger outbursts because they lead to misunderstanding, hurt and distrust.

The same principle applies to my relationship with my kids. I often become angry with them because I am expecting them to act in a way that they are incapable of acting. It is not their job to know how to do everything according to my whim.

It is my job to teach them about how to live as respectable, responsible humans. It is their job to be kids.

When I’ve made my expectations clear to my kids, I find that I am much less likely to get angry with them, even when they don’t follow through.

For example, when my 6-year-old doesn’t pick up her room, I can assess whether she is at fault for disobeying, or I am at fault for not equipping her with the skills to obey. If she is at fault, she receives a consequence that she knows in advance. If I am at fault, I need to continue to teach and train her how to clean her room adequately.

In short, you can prevent mom anger simply by expecting kids to behave according to their age and ability. You can calmly follow through with consequences, or continue to teach your kids how to meet your expectations as they develop.

5. You Are Not Doing This Alone

It amazes me whenever I receive a message from a reader. So many of you say the same thing over and over again: you want to be more patient with your kids.

In other words, you are not the only one who is struggling, mama. So reach out and find your people!

Motherhood can feel very isolating, whether you’re at home with your kids most of the day or running around from the office to the pickup line and trying to balance it all.

It took me a while to find my people, but now I can’t imagine trying to survive life without some dear friends in the trenches with me, as well as mentors who have been down this road before.

What’s more, God is with you on your motherhood mission.

Fight for friendships. Fight in prayer. Get the support you need, because no one should go into battle alone.

6. You CAN Grow Out of Mom Anger—with God

I know what helplessness feels like. You try and try and try to change, only to come full circle and realize you’re falling into the same old, ugly pattern.

Too often when it comes to overcoming mom anger or any other personal flaws, we don’t have any strategy except to just…try harder. (And how is that going for you?)

Patience and self-control are what we’re aiming for when combating mom anger, right? These qualities are fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22–25).

And how do experience that fruit? Do we go chasing after it?

Nope. According to Jesus, we remain in him, the vine (John 15:5). He does the hard work for us.

I know that talking about the Holy Spirit can feel a little weird and mystical. But remaining, or abiding, in the vine involves a lot more than treating God like a vending machine (input prayer; output answer).

Growing in the Holy Spirit involves wrestling through your weaknesses in prayer and other spiritual practices. It doesn’t happen overnight. But in my experience, it’s the way that brings lasting change, for you and your household.

If you’re sick and tired of dealing with mom anger and want to be more patient with your kids, go ahead and get some prayer and journaling prompts with the Patient Mama Blueprint. Plus, I’ve got lots of other resources I’ll also send your way if you sign up!

Okay mamas, now I want to hear from you: do you deal with mom anger? How and when? How do you think these tips can help you?

To the Mom in Survival Mode: You’re Stronger Than You Think

May 10, 2019 by Gina Poirier 16 Comments

Dear mom in survival mode,

I know you. Some days you like to wear sunglasses so no one can see those red, puffy eyes.

Maybe you were crying on the way to your kid’s soccer game because you just couldn’t take it that morning. You slept in, the kids fought, you were running late. At least in the car you could turn up the music, take a few deep breaths, release those tears so that you could pull yourself together.

Maybe you got so little sleep last night that you’re not even sure whether it’s safe for you to drive. You were up all night with the baby. Or with the sick kid. Or with your worries.

Maybe you’ve got the kid with all of the “issues.” Health issues. Behavior issues. Issues that no one seems to understand. Your family can’t do normal things because your child simply can’t handle it. You’re exhausted from the appointments with the specialists. You wonder about who’s passing judgment.

Keep surviving, Mom.

Maybe you’re the one with all of the “issues.” Physical issues. Mental health issues. You know you need to take care of yourself but there are so many needs that come before your own. You can’t get rest when there are mouths that need sandwiches and scraped knees that need bandaging.

Maybe you’re wondering about your marriage. How you got to be just roommates, or why you keep having the same fight over and over and over.

Maybe you’re worried about your best friend, or your sister. She texts you late at night about the years-long fight she’s having with her husband. Is she crazy? She asks you. She’s scared. Should she leave him? You’re at a loss for helpful advice.

Maybe you’re the one in a years-long fight. With your husband, your mother, your sibling.

Maybe you’re looking around your house, wondering when it’s ever going to be clean, or when that remodel is ever going to be done, or when you’ll finally be unpacked from the move that was many months ago. You don’t have the time or energy to work on it, and yet you push. Push. Push yourself.

Hang in there, Mama. Keep surviving.

Maybe your child is going through a tough phase. They’re making shocking decisions. They know better than that. But they’re becoming their own people, and you have to let them fall. It’s terrifying.

Maybe you’re grieving. You’re numb one minute, sobbing the next. Everyone wants to help and is worried about you, but there’s nothing they can do to return what was lost. You are finding healing, but there are moments when the wound is just raw all over again.

Maybe your workload is suffocating you, whether it’s your job, your side projects, or facilitating your kids’ education and activities. Some days you look at your schedule and you feel like you can conquer the world. Other days, you just want to toss your planner across the room. (Or maybe you can’t even find it or haven’t used it in weeks. Or ever.)

Maybe someone you care about deeply is hurting. That friend who can’t get pregnant, the one who lost a child, the one who’s stumbling through a divorce, the one who is battling cancer. You desperately want to be there for them but you’re not even sure how to begin to help.

Maybe you’re stressed about your cash flow. There are days when you wonder when you’ll ever feel like you have enough. Enough to pay the bills, enough to tuck into savings, enough to throw a good birthday party, enough for that surprise expense you know you should have planned for better.

Keep surviving, mama.

You relish in those moments when you can just get away. To go out with your girlfriends, your husband, or just be by yourself. You feel guilty about wanting to escape your kids so badly, yet at the same time you know it’s exactly what you need.

Your life isn’t so bad, you remind yourself. There are many others who are suffering so much more than you. You grasp for joy and gratitude, you pray, you lean into your faith. You do everything right. And yet you have a lot of days when you need to hide those puffy eyes behind your sunglasses.

You’re tired. Really tired.

Let me tell you something, sister.

You are a phenomenal person. Yes, you.

You work so hard. And no one really understands all the crazy little details that go into a single day in your unique situation, and probably never will. Even when you’re relaxing, your mind is always churning, worrying, planning.

And do you know why?

Because you love these people. You adore your kids and your spouse, even when they make you absolutely bonkers. You’re crazy about your friends, your parents, your siblings. You’d go to the moon and back for them, even if you’re infuriated with them.

You do holy work. All. The. Time.

Of course you’re exhausted. Because even though everyone tells you that you need a break, this job of loving never stops.

Yes you need to take care of yourself, so go do that. Go get that manicure, splurge on the latte, bring home that bottle of wine for Tuesday night. But you know as well as I do that you’re going to go right back to it all: pouring yourself out for everyone, day and night, until you literally have nothing left to give.

That’s just the way it is.

Be proud of yourself, friend. You are a warrior, a woman of strength; you are going to get wounded. But you’re going to be okay.

If you have faith, continue to cling to it. And someday, when those babies have babies who have babies, you’ll get to look back and know that it all mattered. Every tear, every sleepless night.

You got this.

:::

Need a break that will fill you up? Let me help you. Click below for a checklist and life-giving strategies.

How are you feeling today, mama? If you’re in survival mode, what’s one thing you could do to be kind to yourself?

Is It Worth It? My Honest Review of the 2019 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle

May 1, 2019 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information.

It’s that time of year. Your inbox gets flooded with the greatest thing since the invention of the internet (according to a gajillion bloggers). The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle.

What is it? Is it really all it’s cracked up to be? Is it worth it?

Let me set you straight on what the 2019 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is, what it isn’t, what I like about it and what I don’t. You can decide for yourself if it’s worth it.

What Is the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle?

Ultimate Bundles is a family-owned business that works with online influencers to package “bundles” of digital resources on different topics. The bundles are offered at a reduced price for a limited time.

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is one of the most popular bundles. It includes a wide variety of products that fit under the loose umbrella of “homemaking.” Categories you’ll find in the 2019 version include parenting, organization, self-care, decor, creativity, marriage and faith.

When you purchase the bundle, you get immediate access to 104 digital products, including 30 eCourses & videos, 28 eBooks, 25 printable packs, 16 workbooks, three summits and two membership sites.

There are also several bonus offers you get for physical products and subscriptions (more on this below).

If that sounds overwhelming, it can be. This is the fourth year I’ve gotten the bundle and when I look back, I can honestly say I probably haven’t made the most use out of it. However, I can also say that I’ve easily gotten my money’s worth because of the low price point.

Who Is the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle For?

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is primarily for women with kids in the home. While you might still get some value out of it if you’re an empty-nester or pre-kids, you’ll probably enjoy it more if your kids are at home.

If you’re not a full-time “homemaker” (i.e. if you have a career outside the home), there are still plenty of resources you may find helpful.

While it’s not an exclusively Christian collection, this bundle does contain multiple products from Christian creators. So don’t be surprised when you dig into a marriage or parenting resource if it offers a biblical perspective.

You’ll get value out of this bundle if you’re interested in developing your home management skills and cultivating the relationships in your family. Note that it does take a significant amount of time to work through it in earnest. You’ll get out of it what you put into it.

You won’t get a lot out of this bundle if you’re the type of person who likes to have learning tools but doesn’t actually use them. If you have a laundry list of products you’ve invested in but haven’t used, then don’t add this to your plate. This bundle is ideal for people who are eager and ready to learn.

Pros & Cons

Let’s dig a little deeper and figure out if this resource is worth it for YOU.

2019 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle Pros

It’s cheap. And not in the poor-quality sense; it’s really inexpensive considering what you get. There are many offers in the bundle prices worth more than the $29.97 price point (including my own eCourse, Peaceful, Patient Mama).
It’s curated. I hate wasting my time searching for quality material online, so it’s nice to have somewhere I can go with products that have been vetted.
It exposes you to new influencers and creators. I always find people I am excited to follow whenever I dig into a bundle, and this year is no exception.
It exposes you to new ideas. Often there is some skill that is taught in a bundle that I didn’t even know I was interested in or needed to work on. So far this year I’ve found some gems about baking, decluttering and even skincare!
There’s a happiness guarantee. If you feel uncomfortable with the pressure to buy within a short time period, you can always return it within 30 days if you change your mind.
There are multiple, highly valuable eCourses this year worth more than the cost of the bundle. Compared to previous years, these types of products really stood out to me (I’ll share my favorites below). I like eCourses because I can listen to the audio/video while multi-tasking.
It’s a great opportunity to get deals on gifts. With the bonus offers you can get goodies like journals, soaps, prints, children’s books and more. These are perfect for Mother’s Day, kids’ birthdays, or for teachers at the end of the school year.

2019 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle Cons

It costs money. I mean, duh. You can get a lot of free stuff online these days.
Product quality varies. I haven’t found anything that is complete garbage, but I can tell which creators have invested in high-quality equipment and services and which haven’t. (I totally get it! I don’t have a huge budget for that stuff.) Sometimes it can be a bit distracting when you come across grammatical errors, poor video or sound quality, or technical issues. It’s not a deal-breaker for me, but just something to be aware of.
The parenting resources are primarily for moms of little kids. The products available are great if you have preschoolers; I just wasn’t interested in most of them at this stage in my life.
I wasn’t wowed by the faith section. In the past it has had some resources I loved, and while there are still some goodies in there this year (like my eCourse!), you might be disappointed if devotionals, etc. are all you’re looking for. HOWEVER, there is an additional mini-bundle you can get for $7 more (more on this below).
The total value is questionable. I know from experience that pricing digital products can be…tricky. When you look at the total value of the bundle, that’s the sum of the listed prices of the individual products. But after going through many of the products, I think some of the resources were overpriced. On the other hand, some were underpriced! So maybe it evens out…but keep that in mind if numbers are important to you.
There is some overlap in content. I mean, how many organization, meal planning and homeschooling strategies do you really need? However, this can also be seen as a pro. If you don’t like one approach to a topic, you can try another.

My Favorite Resources in the 2019 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle

I’ve had the opportunity over the past several weeks to review the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle. While I haven’t tried every product, I have tried a lot! Here are the resources I found the most valuable:

Peaceful, Patient Mama: Biblical Anger Management eCourse by Gina M Poirier ($47.00)

Yes, this is a shameless plug. But I’m excited to offer you my latest eCourse, which addresses the #1 issue that moms tell me they struggle with: patience.

I’ve put together a unique combination of biblical teaching, scientific research and self-reflection tools to help you be the peaceful mom God created you to be. The value of this course alone is worth more than the whole bundle.

The 5 Day Clutter Shakedown eCourse by Dana K White ($40.00)

I’m not a newbie to decluttering, but I’ve struggled (yes, even after trying the KonMari method.) This course was refreshing, funny and practical—and using Dana’s strategies, I decluttered my very scary garage in just a few days.

If you liked the decluttering challenge last week, you’ll love the extended version. Once again, this course alone is worth more than the price of the bundle.

Ultimate Baking Bootcamp eCourse by Heather Perine ($19.00)

This was a surprise to me! I’m an experienced baker, so I was shocked to learn how many things I’m doing wrong! (Are you sure you know how to measure flour the right way?)

What made this course stand out to me was Heather’s scientific expertise. She explained not only what techniques to use, but why they were important. In my opinion, this course is undervalued at $19. I’d pay somewhere closer to the $50–$100 range.

Bust Out of the Makeup Rut eCourse by Alison Lumbatis ($29.00)

I follow Alison as a style blogger, so I was surprised to see this offer, and perhaps a little skeptical. But I like her, so I gave it a whirl. After all, I don’t know anyone else who does makeup tutorials for people who aren’t, I dunno, half my age.

Loved it. I didn’t even know I was in a makeup and skincare rut, but now I’m convinced that it’s time for eye cream, and that I have been putting powder on incorrectly for my whole life. Ahem. Needless to say, I will be watching her videos again. (Bonus: she’s very charming.)

Fill Your Cup: A Grace-filled eCourse to help you pour in so you can flow out by Victoria Osborn ($37)

Biblical self-care is my jam, and Victoria must be cut from the same cloth. She shares her self-care journey from the heart and offers the biblical reasons why it’s important, plus how to practice it.

IMPORTANT: this course is only available in the Invest in Your Faith Mini Bundle, which you can purchase for an additional $7 at checkout. The mini bundle comes with several other resources. I think this course alone makes the additional cost worth it.

What’s the Deal with the Bonuses?

In addition to the digital products you receive in the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle, you have the opportunity to order bonuses. These come in the form of physical products or trial memberships.

Note that if you order a bonus product, there may be restrictions. While some coupons work for the whole store, others are only for a limited selection of products, and up to a certain price.

You will also have to pay shipping costs (usually ranging $6-$7 in my experience). In other words, you might order a bunch of “free” soap, but you gotta pay the postman.

The shipping costs can add up if you take advantage of multiple offers. The bonuses expire June 6, 2019, so you don’t have a lot of time if you’re trying to space out your orders for budget purposes.

Some of the bonuses I’ve tried in the past and recommend are Orglamix eye shadow, a credit at Cultivate What Matters, free children’s books from BookRoo and Around the World Stories audiobooks.

I’ve ordered several of this year’s bonuses and will be unboxing them on Facebook and Instagram this week if you’re into that kind of thing. 🙂

What’s the Catch?

There’s always a catch, right? Why is there so much that costs so little? What are the contributors to this bundle gaining by offering their products on the cheap?

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That’s worth it to me!

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The catch is that it’s only available for six days. Otherwise we’d all go broke ;).

Is the 2019 Ultimate Homemaking Bundle Worth It?

The answer to this question is, of course, up for you to decide. Hopefully I’ve painted you a pretty clear picture about what you’ll get if you decide to get the bundle.

Over the past several years, I’ve always found the bundle to be well worth the price, even if I only use a couple of products. This year is no different.

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My Experience 3 Years After Decluttering with the KonMari Method

April 18, 2019 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

Wondering whether the KonMari method of decluttering really works, especially in the long term? I first discovered it over three years ago—here are my long-term results.

Does the KonMari Decluttering Method Work? Results 3 Years Later

Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information.

Once upon a time, there was a regular mama with two little kids, a husband and a nice, middle-class house.

They had lots and lots of stuff. So much stuff, in fact, that Mama wanted to pull her hair out. She sat at her dining room table in a sea of markers, crayons, coloring books, blocks, stuffed animals and dried-out Play-Doh wondering if this was just her lot in life for the next couple of decades.

If you hadn’t guessed, that was me, circa 2012. It was around that time that I started thinking seriously about exploring minimalism. Convicted about the sheer volume of our possessions, I tried to purge them.

And then we moved on with our lives. We had another kid. Our belongings reproduced like rabbits.

Defeat. (Been there?)

I knew why I wanted to declutter but I didn’t know how to do it. If only someone magical would hold my hand and walk me through it.

Enter Marie Condo.

I received The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo for Christmas in 2015. I read it from cover to cover and was convinced that this was the answer to my clutter dilemma. I dubbed 2016 the year of tidying up in the Poirier household.

Could this be the way to not only reduce the clutter, but keep it away for good?

What Is the KonMari Method?

Marie Kondo was popular long before her Netflix series, Tidying Up, was released at the beginning of 2019. “KonMari” is a shortened version of her name.

The KonMari method is her unique approach to decluttering that involves systematically going through your possessions category by category, keeping only what “sparks joy.”

If you watch the show, you get snippets of how this process works. Ideally, you’re supposed to have a “decluttering marathon” over the course of a few weeks or months, so that you can get down to the bare bones of your living space.

Supposedly, once you complete this process, you should be able to maintain a state of less clutter in your home perpetually.

Does it work?

In my experience, the KonMari method helped jumpstart my decluttering process and decreased the amount of junk we had in our home. I noticed a significant shift in my wellbeing, especially the first year.

I’ll admit…I didn’t complete the full process the way Kondo recommends. I didn’t take the time to go through every single category in the house, particularly the sentimental items and photos that are shoved into boxes under the stairs. I burned out somewhere in the “komono” category (miscellaneous items).

Further down the road, I haven’t found it easy to keep the clutter at bay. At the beginning of 2019, I decided I needed to go through the whole house again. (This time, I chose not to go by category, but by room.)

So overall, did the KonMari method help me? Yes.

Did it solve all of my decluttering problems forever? No.

Is it the only way to declutter? No.

The KonMari method is a great way to help you get a new mindset about your possessions and has some practical techniques to declutter. It is helpful if you don’t know where to begin. I recommend trying it if you feel like you’re drowning in stuff and need a fresh start.

Do Christians and KonMari Mix?

If you couldn’t tell by my tagline, I write to a primarily Christian audience. There is some discussion within Christian circles about whether the KonMari method is a godly approach to minimizing the clutter in your home.

Marie Kondo doesn’t claim to be Christian; in fact, as she explains in the book, she comes from a Shinto background. If you do a little digging about what this means, her method makes a whole lot more sense.

In the Shinto belief system, everything has a spirit—yes, even your smelly socks. When you treat everything as something that is “alive,” you have much respect for your home and everything in it (hence why you also thank an item for its service once you decide to discard it).

Marie Kondo exhibits some of her beliefs on the Netflix show, like when she bows her head and “greets” the house. Now, there are a couple of ways you can take this in.

You might find it extremely uncomfortable to watch or even demonic.
You might observe that she is from a different culture and choose to learn some of her techniques through the lens of your own belief system.

It’s good to be discerning about the spiritual practices we follow in our homes and families. But there is also a ton that Christian families can learn from Marie Kondo—such as family discipleship (yes!) and gratitude. I loved this podcast, which delved into this topic thoroughly.

Personally, I have found Marie Kondo’s tools to be practical and flexible enough to use with my own belief system.

The Beginning of My KonMari Journey

At the beginning of her book, Kondo encourages you to write down “why you want to be tidy” before you start implementing this system in your home. On December 27, 2015 I wrote:

I want to wake up each morning and go to bed each night peacefully, so I can focus on God and my family instead of my life’s distractions.

The hope was that by tidying up my life I would also tidy up my thoughts (and my prayer life!)

I decided to spend a couple of hours each weekend focusing on one category of possessions in our home. I hoped to be done by summer.

I chronicled this process in detail when I first started my blog in 2016. I decided to take some of those highlights and summarize them here.

Step 1: Clothing

The first category Kondo recommends tidying up is clothing. I went through my clothes, my kids’ clothes and our linens. I left my husband to his own devices, which wasn’t terribly difficult because he probably had the least amount of clothes anyway.

This process took about six weeks. We easily got rid of most of the clothes we owned.

The method involves taking every scrap of clothing in your house and piling it all in the same place. You then handle each item individually and test how you feel about it. You keep it if you love it and you trash it if you don’t.

I did my own clothes first and then worked together with my boys (my daughter was too young at the time). Kids’ clothes are daunting because if you’re like me you not only have their current sets of clothes, but also the stuff they’ve grown out of and the stuff they have yet to grow into. We tackled it all.

My new and improved closet — My closet immediately after decluttering

My drawers immediately after decluttering

My daughter's clothes, minus jackets and dresses, fit into one drawer. — Toddler girl’s dresser

Even if you don’t go through the whole house the KonMari way, just doing your clothes is worth the effort. Here are some of the initial thoughts I had in the weeks after we tidied our clothes:

Tidying is contagious. I talked about it enthusiastically with my friends and family. While my husband wasn’t following the method exactly, he got inspired to clean up his “man cave” area in the basement. He was very happy with it. Other friends bought the book themselves and started sorting their clothes too.

I had a strange attachment to my possessions that I wasn’t aware of. Why is it so hard to throw out something that you haven’t worn in five years? Kondo says that you’re either holding on too much to the past (the outfit from that special event), or you’re anxious about the future (I’ll keep it just in case I need it). If it has served you well, even if it made you happy for a brief moment, be thankful and let it go.

I don’t miss the things I discarded. I’d forgotten that I even owned most of them anyway. If I really feel like I need something that I threw out, I can go get another one. This hasn’t happened yet.

Tidy drawers really make me happy. I’ve shown them off on more than one occasion. Super weird.

I can find anything I need in a snap. I can also tell if something is missing because if it’s not in its designated spot, it’s probably not in the house.

I have all that I need. I have less than half the clothes I used to, but I find that it is easier to get dressed in the morning because whatever I spot in the drawer is something I like.

Kids can be tidy. The key is having drawers that aren’t overstuffed, with clothes that are easy to find. One of the doubts I had about KonMari was if the method would work for families. Kondo has had many clients who are parents, and she simply says that kids as young as three can be taught how to be tidy.

I don’t need to keep everything given to us. I have an awesome friend with two older boys who had given us all of their old clothes, many of which my kids had yet to grow into. These clothes were generally in great condition. I decided to go through them and pick out the best of the selection and then get rid of the rest. What used to be a huge mess at the back of the closet became a much smaller volume of apparel that I strategically organized by size. When my oldest moved up a size, I could pull out a full wardrobe for him, ready to go. I donated the rest.

It’s easier to be generous. The day after I finished sorting all of the kids’ past, present and future clothes, I had a friend come over with her kids. They wanted to play in the snow but her oldest son didn’t have snow pants. I happened to know that I had a pair his size that my kids hadn’t grown into yet, so he borrowed them. While I was thinking about it, I gave her a big pile of clothes in sizes too big for my boys—the ones that would have been sitting uselessly in the closet and probably wouldn’t have been worn.

Donations are ready to go. I took all of the clothes we didn’t want and sorted through them. The ones in poor condition were donated to a clothes recycling bin, while the ones in good condition were sorted by size and put in bins.

Storage methods can be trial and error. One of the things I initially didn’t like about Kondo’s book was that it leaves a lot of room for interpretation when it comes to how to organize your belongings. I think she did this because your method largely depends on what your personal belongings are like and what type of storage space you have.

Step 2: Books

Step 2 in the KonMari method of tidying up is books.

Tidy Bookshelf After KonMari Decluttering

To declutter, Kondo says you are supposed to pile your books on the floor, pick them up one at a time and assess your feelings about them. As always, if they “spark joy” you should keep them, and if they don’t you should toss them. DO NOT open the books.

Book Pile for the KonMari Decluttering Method

Naturally, this gives book-lovers a bit of a heart attack.

At some point in my young adulthood, I recall saying that one of my life goals was to have a massive library. It would be a way to showcase my love of learning, right?

Nonetheless, I decided to put some trust in my favorite new Japanese friend and follow her advice. Do these spark joy?

With a busy schedule, it took me several weeks to complete this. I did the adult books in one session, the homeschool books in another, the baby books in another and the older kid books in another. I also quickly went through cookbooks and sheet music.

Here’s what our family (well, mostly I) learned from the process:

We had a lot of garbage books. You know, the ones you pick up but never finish, the ones that are water-damaged, the ones that you keep after college because you think they have valuable information—but ten years later you can’t remember a thing about them (and have no interest in relearning). These are easy to get rid of.

It’s okay to throw away old books. We had a lot of books that were well-loved but falling apart, like supposedly indestructible baby board books. As Kondo says, thank them for their service and say goodbye. They can go to the garbage can—it’s okay! No one will be offended.

Keep the books you’d want to lend. This might go against KonMari’s advice because I wouldn’t necessarily read these books again myself. But one of the reasons I love to have books is because I love to lend them. Ask my friends; whenever someone is trying to solve a problem I will often say, “Oh, have you read this book…?” And then I go grab it. But then again it might not go against the KonMari method after all. It gives me joy to lend books. So I keep them.

Aesthetics matter. I’ve been inspired by Modern Mrs. Darcy, who regularly displays her gorgeous book collections on Instagram. Her books are often color coordinated! This goes against my intuition because I want logical order but dang, her bookshelves look pretty. Thus, it’s okay to keep a book just because it looks nice.

Ditch the educational stuff you don’t use. As homeschooolers, we had have stockpiles of educational material. Most of it was junk that I acquired at used book sales or has been given to me. At one time I thought that it would be handy to have a deep pile of resources, but they’re not handy if you don’t use them! It’s a relief to know what we like and what we don’t—and it’s okay to pass along the stuff we don’t.

Double-check with the spouse. This decluttering project was mostly my thing. My husband was supportive, but I did the bulk of the work. The challenge with books is that many books are shared. When I went through our shelves, I took everything off as per the KonMari instructions. First I kept the books I knew I wanted as well as the books I knew Marc liked. Then I left a pile of books for him that I wasn’t sure about. At his convenience, he went through them and pulled out the ones he wanted to keep. It was no-drama.

About those books you “might” read. Kondo says to trash them, but I couldn’t pull the trigger on all of them. I have a handful of adoption books and a few others that were given to me as gifts. I am not afraid to get rid of books now, so I can revisit them later (she does say that you can do this to a certain extent while you hone your tidying skills).

Kids do better with less. Prior to decluttering, we had a ton of kids’ books and I was afraid that I would be harming my children by getting rid of any of them. But the truth was, they couldn’t find half of them anyway! In addition to the falling-apart books, I discarded the ones that they had outgrown or were just not good reads. You know, like the free paperbacks you get with a kids’ meal. When they had fewer books that were much more neatly organized—shocking—my kids started reading more!

Tidy Kids' Bookshelf After KonMari Decluttering Method

Do you really need all those cookbooks?Um, no. Especially these days. I kept my favorite Betty Crocker as well as a couple more that I refer to regularly.

Sheet music—ditch the mess. I have played the piano since I was seven years old and carried around all of my old music with me for a couple of decades. It was time to say goodbye, especially since I don’t play a lot anymore anyway. I kept hymns and Christmas music, which I occasionally play at church, as well as my favorite classical and fun music to play. I had a huge basket full of music that I hadn’t looked at in years. I never missed it.

Step 3: Paper

I didn’t chronicle this part of the journey because frankly, there wasn’t a lot to say. I had been moving towards digitizing a lot of my paper anyway, so this was one of the easiest steps (not including sentimental items like old cards and journals).

Paper doesn’t exactly “spark joy” for a lot of people so with the KonMari method you simply appreciate having what you need and no more. I don’t follow her system to the T, but to this day I contain most of my paper in a simple filing system.

I also have folders stored away for adoption receipts, tax returns for the past three years, and records like titles, social security cards and passports. That’s it!

Step 4: Komono (Miscellaneous)

The komono category covers everything from toys to tools to bath products to small appliances.

This was the most daunting stage of the decluttering process and took the longest. It’s also where I lost steam somewhere mid-2016. I stopped chronically my journey online.

However, I did make significant progress in certain areas of my house—particularly with my kids’ toys and the kitchen. I wrote down some thoughts about decluttering toys, which I’ll note here.

My husband called it “the kid creep.” Like none of our space was really our own. What’s more, it was overwhelming for the kids when I said, “Time to clean up!” They didn’t know where to start or where to end.

The toy decluttering process took a long time, and even now I always feel like I can do more. BUT I can say confidently say the first iteration of the process eliminated the majority of our toy clutter. I could breathe again; I felt like I had grown-up space; my kids weren’t overwhelmed by their stuff. What’s more, since then, they have been much better at cleaning up after themselves.

If you’re sick of toy clutter, you don’t have to put up with it. It will take some work, but trust me friend, it is soooooo worth the effort.

We were remodeling over a couple of months, so a lot of our stuff was floating around the house with no permanent home and giving me more anxiety. I recall at least three separate occasions when I piled all of the toys from a particular location and “KonMaried” them. My kids helped quite a bit because I wanted them to learn how to choose to keep only what they truly like. But a couple of times I went solo…because the task was a little overwhelming for them.

We threw out A LOT: probably at least half. I only kept those toys which have resale/giveaway value, which I stockpiled with all of the other former clutter…in the garage.

Once we had sorted or discarded every plaything in the house, I wanted to simplify how we organized them. I moved the vast majority of the toys to our newly remodeled family room. It worked to store them in small bins that were easy to access, which made finding toys as well as cleaning them up simple.

I don’t recommend “overorganizing” toys because they will just get mixed up again anyway. If you have older kids who would like to keep a certain category separate, then do that (we do with LEGOS). Otherwise, don’t create more stress than necessary. Make your system simple!

A little tip if you have toddlers: store their toys in small bins that are easy to carry. Take one bin out during playtime; then put toys back in the bin and put the bin away. Even after my kids got older, I kept a small bin that I can take out whenever we have young guests.

Step 5: Sentimental Items

Confession: I didn’t really attempt this step.

Not the KonMari way, anyway. You know how I said we were remodeling during this process? It was because our basement had a flood.

I had to dig our old stuff (photos, keepsakes, etc.) out from the closet under the stairs, and we did go through some of it. But I didn’t have time to truly assess each item when we were also dealing with…umm…everything else.

Most of our sentimental items aren’t taking up a ton of space, and they’re not bothering me. From time to time I get a whim to go through a few of them (like when I’m looking for something). I think we’re cool with this.

3 Years Later: What’s Still Working

Going through all of your possessions is a massive undertaking. But doing it thoroughly really did help us set a foundation for a simpler home.

I don’t think I’m going to win any awards for the tidyness of my house, but there are a few KonMari-inspired systems that have aged well over a few years:

Clothing

closet 3 years after KonMari — My closet circa 3 years later

drawers 3 years after KonMari — My drawers 3 years later

girls dresser after KonMari — My daughter’s drawers 3 years later

Storing clothes to make them more visible has made a huge difference in being able to keep a simple wardrobe of items we like that are easy to find. I have been pretty consistent about going through everyone’s clothes seasonally. I don’t take them all out and hold them like I did the first time; we do a quick assessment and decide what to get rid of.

Storage Space

Marie Kondo’s approach is to use small boxes and baskets to organize storage space. It takes some trial and error to figure out what works, but whenever I find I need to reorganize a space, I do this.

Kitchen

I don’t remember exactly when I tackled my kitchen; all I know is that this step changed my life. I got rid of a lot of dishes and gadgets we weren’t using, reorganized the cupboards and cleared a lot of counter space. Kondo actually recommends you keep almost nothing on your countertops! While I’m not quite there, I love all the extra space I have for food preparation.

Our dining room area is also much more livable.

Mindset

While I am not constantly thinking about what “sparks joy” as I go about our home, I am much more mindful about trying only to keep what we need and like. I’m quicker to throw out what we don’t need whenever I see it or whenever I decide that it’s time to go on a decluttering spree again.

3 Years Later: What Hasn’t Worked

It might be because I didn’t follow the KonMari system 100%, but there are some parts of her philosophy that did not help me much over time.

Managing Discarded Items

When I first started decluttering, I didn’t cart everything off to the donation center. I wanted to keep some of it to give away to friends and family, to save for younger siblings, or to sell.

And about once a year, I have a garage that looks like a nightmare. I tell myself I’m going to have a garage sale, but I get overwhelmed and decide to donate it instead.

I know what Marie Kondo would say. She would tell me to just get rid of it in the first place. Maybe I should.

Clutter Maintenance

Once you go through your whole home and assess what sparks joy and what doesn’t, you don’t want to do it again, ever. While I’ve had success maintaining some areas, like my clothes, most kitchen appliances and books (thanks to Kindle), we’ve struggled in other areas. Like kids’ stuff.

Perhaps it’s time to invest in a real dresser for my growing boys.

It’s better than it was. But I find it hard to maintain the tidiness of kids’ toys, clothes, books and games without some sort of decluttering calendar (which KonMari doesn’t offer).

messy toys — This actually isn’t too bad once you clean it up.

That’s why I wrote out a decluttering plan in my PowerSheets this year.

Does the KonMari Method Work?

To sum it up, I’ve found a lot of value in the KonMari decluttering method over the past three years, even if it wasn’t a perfect system for us.

It helped our family systematically go through most of our possessions to set a simpler foundation in our home. It has also helped me have a healthier mindset about our possessions and work towards having less stuff.

Over the long term, it hasn’t been as helpful at providing a system to keep the clutter at bay. But with my shift in mindset, I’ve been able to experiment with other approaches to clutter maintenance.

It’s worth trying if you’re as sick and tired of mess as I was. Maybe it won’t solve all of your problems, but it will point you in the right direction.

I do recommend reading the book, as it goes into much more detail than the show about how to tackle the categories in your home.

Have you tried the KonMari method? Did it work for you? What other approaches to decluttering have you found helpful?

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