gina m poirier

WIPING NOSES FOR JESUS IS LEGIT

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Looking for Things to Pray For? Here Are 40 Ideas.

May 14, 2020 by Gina Poirier 5 Comments

Wondering what to say when you pray? Here are some of my best tips and a big list of things to pray for in any season, even when you’re a bit distracted or overwhelmed…

Be sure to also check out these printable prayer prompts to keep your prayer life on track!

Prayer Prompts Button


Do you ever feel like you’re missing something when it comes to prayer? I don’t know about you, but it seems like everybody seems to do it a lot more naturally than I do.

You probably relate if you sit down to pray and about five seconds later your mind wanders because:

1. Life is distracting.

You get up early, enjoying the peace of the morning. You intend to get out of bed and spend those precious quiet moments in prayer.

You start saying, “God…thank you for today.”

And then you start actually thinking about today. Your mind starts racing as you’re walking through the morning mentally.

You feel guilty: ”Sorry, God, uhhhh…”

But before you know it, the kids are up, and you’re on the move. God will have to wait…maybe until tomorrow.

Related: How to Pray When You Just Can’t Focus

2. You’re overwhelmed. 

Your heart is heavy; you know you want to reach out to God. Maybe you have a quiet moment; maybe there is chaos surrounding you. Either way, you don’t even know what to say or how to start. Then distractions set in…you never really get back around to addressing that weight on your heart.

3. You don’t know what to say.

You’re in a prayer or Bible study group. You listen nervously as others offer up their prayers, but you’re not really paying that close of attention because you’re trying to figure out what in the world to say when it’s your turn. When it’s time to open your mouth, you freeze, or you say something that sounds sort of religious so you can pass the baton on to the next person.

Friend, you’re not alone. I’ve had so many women talk to me about how this is their story.

And to make matters worse, it’s really easy to feel guilty about it.

But here’s the truth: we all start somewhere, and we all have something to learn. We are spiritual beings so prayer is natural; yet it is not necessarily something we just know how to do.

If prayer is your struggle, don’t feel bad about it! I found it helpful to study some of Jesus’ fundamental teachings on the subject (he had quite a lot to say!), which I put together into seven days of prayer prompts.

Beyond that, I’ve put together a list of things to pray for when your mind is simply drawing a blank. They’re divided into categories based on different types of prayer. I’ve included some scriptures for reference.

40 Things To Pray for (Even When You’re Distracted, Overwhelmed and Don’t Know What To Say)

Does your mind go blank when you pray? This list of things to pray for will help you focus on what the Bible says we should focus our minds and hearts on in prayer.

Reflective Prayers

In English, when we think of the word “prayer,” we often associate it with presenting requests to God and asking him for help. While that’s not wrong (as we’ll explore below), it’s not the whole story. In Hebrew, the word for prayer, hitpallel, comes from a verb that means “to judge oneself.” Keep that in mind when you read through the Psalms! Prayer can be a time to reflect on your heart and talk about it with God.

1. Confession of your sins (1 John 1:9)
2. Asking for forgiveness (Matthew 6:12)
3. Asking for a pure heart (Psalm 51:10)
4. Your honest feelings about your circumstances (including anger, despair, hopelessness and more). For a helpful study, read Lamentations. You don’t have to be happy-go-lucky all the time to be close to God.

Prayers of Praise

Things To Pray For | How To Pray

Sometimes it does the heart good to simply praise God. You could spend the rest of your life just praying many of the Psalms (try it!). Whether you’re praying the Psalms or just coming up with your own praise, you can think about:

5. His love for you (Psalm 52:8)
6. His goodness (Psalm 145:7)
7. His holiness (Psalm 29:2)
8. What he’s done in your life and others’ (Psalm 9:1)
9. His Word (Psalm 119)
10. His creation (Psalm 19)

Prayers of Thanksgiving

Gratitude is scientifically proven to have multiple psychological benefits. No wonder the Bible tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18). You can be thankful about virtually anything, but here are some ideas:

11. Your family relationships
12. Your friendships
13. The community you live in
14. Your work (Colossians 3:23)
15. Your freedom
16. Things that make you smile or laugh (Psalm 68:3)
17. Forgiveness (Romans 7:25)
18. Your trials (yes really—because they’re strengthening and refining you James 1:2–4)

Prayer Prompts Button

Requests

I don’t know about you, but I’ve made some pretty silly prayer requests. But Jesus does say, “Just ask!” (see Matthew 7:7–12). It usually isn’t hard to come up with requests, but just in case you need some prompting:

19. Things you’re worried or anxious about (Matthew 6:25–34, Philippians 4:6)
20. Your basic needs (Matthew 6:11)
21. Your craziest dreams (Mark 11:23)
22. To increase your faith (Luke 17:5)
23. Wisdom (James 1:5)
24. Spiritual strength (Ephesians 6:10–17)

Prayers About the Kingdom of God

The Lord’s Prayer says “Your kingdom come, your will be done.” There are a lot of ways to pray about that! Consider praying about:

25. Your government and leaders (Romans 13:1–6)
26. Church leaders (Hebrews 13:7)
27. Worldwide and local missions (Ephesians 6:18–20)
28. Social injustice (racism, poverty, etc)
29. The impoverished and suffering
30. The persecuted
31. The church (global and local) and/or ministries you are a part of

Prayers for People in Your Life

This might be the easiest thing to pray for, but sometimes it’s also easy to forget! I recommend making your own list, but here are some ideas to get your started:

32. Your spouse and your marriage relationship
33. Your kids (their faith, their trials, their education, their relationships…)
34. Your parents
35. Friends who are believers, near and far
36. Friends who are not believers
37. Coworkers
38. Neighbors
39. Siblings
40. Your local community

I feel like I need to get busy!

Related: How to Read the Bible When You Feel Stuck

If you found these tips helpful, you might also like my printable prayer journal, Teach Me to Pray, which walks you through four weeks of biblical prayer prompts.

Teach Me to Pray 4 Week Printable Prayer Journal

Do you struggle to find things to pray for? What changes can you make to your daily routine to have a more powerful prayer life?

Gina M Poirier

Filed Under: Christian Life, How To Pray

How to Pray When You Just Can’t Focus

May 7, 2020 by Gina Poirier 57 Comments

Welcome, friend! Are you looking to kickstart your prayer life? Be sure to check out 7 days of printable prayer prompts in addition to the tips in this post.

Prayer Prompts Button

Knowing how to pray is one of those things you think should come naturally, right? Especially if you’ve been a Christian for a while?

But if you’re like thousands of other people who’ve landed on this post, I bet you’ve run into the same problem: you can’t focus. You don’t know what to say or even where to start sometimes. It just doesn’t come naturally for everyone.

I’ve been praying in some capacity since I was a teen. I remember curling up in my bed at night when my life felt confusing, asking a big mysterious God for guidance and strength. I drifted in and out of a youth group and felt guilty for my lack of commitment, although I wasn’t even sure what “commitment” to him should look like.

Finally I promised this God that I would go to church when I went to college.

I kept that promise and my life turned upside down. After deciding to follow Jesus I never looked back. Early on I learned that if I was going to keep this up, prayer was going to be an essential part of my life.

But here’s the thing. I suck at praying.

I say that a little tongue in cheek because at least I’m trying, and I’m pretty sure God listens to whatever jumbled mess of thoughts I throw his way. But let me give an example of what my mornings can look like…

My alarm goes off, I grumble, hit snooze a couple of times.

I finally turn on my phone and start rifling through emails and notifications, to wake up my brain. I start thinking about my day.

Depending on the day, I either read some of the Bible or go work out. Or put it off and sleep more.

At some point I turn to God like I know I should (and want to):

“Good morning God, thank you for the beautiful sunrise, thank you for guiding our family…oh I wonder how Jonathan’s cough is this morning. I’ll need to give him his medicine, but first I’ll need to make breakfast…oh no, I hope we’re not out of bread…oh sorry God, I mean, uh, please help Jonathan feel better…is he well enough to go to the library? Ugh, I really need to deposit those checks on the way home, Marc needs to sign them before he leaves…oh hi God, sorry, ummmm where was I? Ugh, I’m so tired, can’t focus…”

I could blame the stage of life I’m in, but the truth is I have always struggled with this. I’m a Type A, always planning, always ten steps ahead of where I’m at.

I have difficulty being in the moment.

When I pray, I just can’t focus.

Some people naturally pour their hearts out to God every time they turn to him. Others have to learn it through practice and habit. Guess which category I fall into.

I’ve made the mistake of assuming that knowing how to pray is a skill that everyone should know automatically, but it doesn’t quite work that way. As someone constantly grappling with grace I know that my prayer life is not something to be ashamed of, but it reflects a weakness in character that needs strengthening.

Over the years I’ve learned that there are a lot of ways to connect with God in a meaningful way. I may not be the 21st century Psalmist, but I can pray faithfully and powerfully even with my disjointed, distracted train of thought.

If you relate to this, I hope you don’t feel guilty. Just know that God is listening, no matter what you try. And if you feel like you don’t know how to pray, don’t worry. It’s never too late to learn.

Related: Quiet Time Bucket List: 20 Ways To Build Intimacy with God

How To Pray When You Just Can’t Focus

Focus in prayer can be tougher than it looks, so I compiled the best tips about how to pray, for beginners or anyone!

Here are some simple tips about how to pray and connect with God if you struggle with consistency and focus. Also be sure check out the journal I developed as a result of the popularity of this post (you can try a free sample!).

Prayer Prompts Button

1. Pray Out Loud

Yes, even when you’re by yourself. Or not by yourself.

When I was a college student I would pretend I was on my phone while I prayed during my walk to class so people wouldn’t think I was crazy!

I think of the story of Daniel. A Babylonian law forbade anyone to pray to any god but the king, yet Daniel continued to pray visibly and loudly enough to get arrested. Why didn’t he whisper or do it in his head? (See Daniel 6.) I find that when I make my thoughts verbal, they’re less likely to trail off.

2. Sing Hymns

No need to come up with eloquent words when they’ve already been written. Don’t turn on music and zone out; say the words and mean them. I’m a fan of old-timey hymns with rich lyrics as opposed to saying “hallelujah” over and over. Get a songbook/hymnal, or print out some lyrics and try it!

Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord
—Ephesians 5:19

3. Start with the Lord’s Prayer

Sometimes there is great value in ritual. It can keep us on target.

Jesus’ disciples were with him constantly and must have seen his relationship with his Father, and yet they still asked, “how do we pray?” Jesus laid a foundation in Matthew 6:9–13:

This, then, is how you should pray:
’Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’

When I don’t know what to say, I know I can’t go wrong with honoring God, asking that his will be done; asking for what I need, for forgiveness and for help through my weaknesses.

4. Imitate Great Prayers in the Bible

Just as Jesus set an example in prayer, so did many other people in the Bible. Pick one. I love Hannah’s prayer in 1 Samuel 2:1–10 for starters.

Related: How to Read the Bible When You Feel Stuck

5. Fast

It’s Lent as I write this so fasting is on a lot of people’s minds; however, it doesn’t have to be a special occasion to get your heart and mind spiritually focused.

I know that whenever I have practiced a traditional fast by giving up food, the hunger is a constant, humbling reminder that my strength comes from God alone. That helps me focus.

6. Pray Continually

This tip is for you, parents—yeah you who don’t have more than five quiet minutes to yourselves ever.

You’re probably already aware of this, but praying doesn’t have to be a formal event. God’s listening all the time.

Say a quick thanks, a shout out for your friend, praise, or a request for help whenever you think of it. Nehemiah did it constantly, if you want inspiration.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;
 for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
—1 Thessalonians 5:16–18

7. Pray with Your Kids

This seems obvious, but is it? I regularly forget to even pray at meals.

Yet I nonetheless try to have regular times throughout the day. This practice not only for them—it helps me too.

We pray when we load up the car (usually because this is stressful and I need the reset button). We pray at the beginning of our school day. We pray whenever someone is scared or sick or is being disciplined. We pray when kids throw fits and we pray when Mommy throws fits. We pray when something awesome happens and we want to thank God. We pray as a family at bedtime.

These are quick and may or may not always be super heartfelt, but you know what? They add up. And what’s more, you’re teaching them how to pray!

Related: 11 Bible Verses for the Exhausted Mama

8. Pray with Your Spouse

Sometimes this overlaps with the praying with the kids thing, but we try to spend at least some time in prayer together daily. Want to try something super humbling? Stop to pray in the middle of a fight.

9. Go for a Prayer Walk or Drive

I did this a lot more before I had kids and when they were stroller size. Just thinking about it makes me want to get back in the habit. There is something about being outside that clears the mind. When you’re out walking you’re less likely to be distracted with your to-do list. Plus, there’s nature.

The heavens declare the glory of God; 
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
—Psalm 19:1

10. Pray the Psalms

I remember the first time I read through the book of Psalms; I was completely bored. Yeah, really.

At that time I was trying to absorb the knowledge that the Bible offered, and I was falling asleep getting through this very long collection of poetry. But years later, I love the Psalms because they have guided me in prayer on so many occasions.

You know those times when your mind is a flurry and you’re either sobbing uncontrollably or you’re so numb that you can’t even do that? You want to pray but you don’t even know where to begin? Pray a Psalm. A couple of my favorites include Psalm 23 and Psalm 63.

Friends, I don’t call myself a prayer warrior, but even as I write this I feel empowered because I know that in spite of my weaknesses, I do speak and God hears my prayers. If you have a hard time focusing, I hope this lists empowers you too.

If you found these tips helpful, be sure to check out this prayer journal!

4-Week Guided Prayer Journal promo

The first week (which you can get for free) spends seven days going through the teachings of Jesus. You’ll also receive a free email series about how to make prayer a daily habit.

Plus, check out my Facebook Live video on how I pray when I’m a hot mess:

Do you know how to pray when you’re having trouble focusing? What do you do?

Filed Under: Christian Life, How To Pray

Is Self-Care Selfish? What the Bible Does and Doesn’t Say

March 24, 2020 by Gina Poirier 1 Comment

“Is self-care selfish?” is a pretty heated topic among Christians, which is why I decided to flesh it out. Here’s the good, bad and ugly run-down on self-care (especially for moms). Be sure to check out this self-care toolkit if you want to learn more about how to implement some of the practices I suggest!

Printable Bible Verses for Moms

I recently posted a discussion question in our Christian Mom Encouragement Facebook group that generated some pretty polarized responses:

“What are your thoughts on self-care?”

I purposely left any value judgment out of the question itself in order to see what the organic response would be. I immediately felt the angst in people’s comments. They generally fell into two categories:

  • We absolutely need self-care to be healthy and serve our families well! 
  • I’m sick of how entitled people are about shopping trips and manicures and how it will fix all of their problems!

I too wrestle with the idea. Is self-care selfish? Or is it necessary? (Or, dare I say, both?)

This is such a hot topic, for moms especially, because so many of us are feeling burned out trying to live the Christian life of self-denial (I get messages about it every day!).

Spoiler: I’ve ultimately decided to lean towards self-care being a good thing for Christians (in fact, I’ve got a bunch of resources that can help you practice it better if you want to check those out). However, it’s important to define what we actually mean by self-care if we’re going to practice it in a way that honors God.

Here is what the Bible does—and doesn’t—say if you’re at all wondering about how to approach self-care from a Christian perspective.

Related: Should Christians Prioritize Self-Care?

1. The Term Self-Care Is Not in the Bible

I’m actually going to start out with what the Bible doesn’t say. This is just as important as what it does say—because I can’t base a whole argument on something that really has no biblical foundation to begin with.

So let it be clearly stated: “self-care” is not in the Bible. Do a word search in any translation. You won’t find it.

Those of you who are in the “self-care is selfish” camp might be feeling pretty smug. It’s not there; therefore self-care must be selfish.

Hold your horses, though; just because the term as we understand it isn’t there doesn’t mean that self-care as a concept can’t be inferred from the scriptures. But those of you on “pro side” shouldn’t get too excited because you’re not free and clear yet either.

We need to be careful taking modern concepts in a modern language and trying to get the scriptures to fit a certain agenda, no matter what the argument. I’ll tread carefully here and try not to read too much into the biblical text. But I think there is enough teaching that makes a few relevant points about how to understand self-care.

My current understanding is that caring for our whole being, a.k.a “self-care,” is a biblical concept. But, like many concepts intended for our good, it can have a dark side when pursued outside of its intended purposes.

Related: 10 Bible Verses for the Stressed Out Mama

2. Sabbath Rest as Self-Care

Newsflash: did you know there are TEN Commandments? Like, in your Bible? See Exodus 20 if you don’t believe me.

Nine of them make a lot of sense, like worshiping God alone, not killing people, not cheating on your spouse and not being a dirty rotten liar or thief.

But then there’s this pesky one about remembering the Sabbath day and keeping it holy. It’s a real head-scratcher.

I’m going to skip over the theological debate about who is and isn’t bound under the Mosaic covenant (I’m going to presume that most of you, like myself, think you are not); let’s talk about why that commandment is there in the first place. If it’s it God’s top ten list, then it’s probably not an arbitrary rule (none of the Torah’s commandments are, but that’s a discussion for another day).

Sabbath rest existed as a concept long before Moses received the Ten Commandments; in fact, God instituted it from Genesis.

Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

Genesis 2:1–2

It’s a beautiful story; God created the world, finishing it up with his image-bearing children. He tasked them with ruling over the earth on his behalf, reflecting his glory. 

But before they got to work, there was something even more important: the invitation to rest with him in his presence, to delight in all the beauty he had made. This was the pattern of what he wanted for his children; even after the fall of mankind, rest is something we continue to seek as we move towards the ultimate restoration of creation (see Hebrews 4).

So what are we to make of this?

God designed humans (and all of creation) with the need to rest. This includes eating, sleeping, celebrating and ultimately being restored. We are not machines.

We can choose to rest weekly, by observing a Sabbath, but we can also choose other restful disciplines daily, monthly, or whenever it’s appropriate.

When I view self-care through the lens of Sabbath rest, it’s quite the opposite of selfish. It takes restraint and faith to stop working and to trust in him who cares for you rather than trying to do it all yourself.

Related: 3 Ways Overwhelmed Moms Can Truly Rest

This is a huge topic! If you’re intrigued, you can learn more about how to understand Sabbath rest practically in my eCourse, Choose Rest.

Printable Bible Verses for Moms

3. Stewardship as Self-Care

At first glance, it looks like the New Testament is rather inconsistent when it comes to anything that might relate to self-care. Jesus explicitly says to deny yourself if you want to be his disciple and to cut off your hand if it causes you to sin. But he also is faithful about observing the Sabbath and invites his followers to rest in him (Matthew 11:28–30).

The apostle Paul says that he “beats his body and makes it his slave” in order to align himself with God’s purposes. Yet he also instructs Christians to live quiet lives and to treat their bodies as living temples.

All of those passages, of course, make more sense when read in their proper contexts. The unifying theme is loving and honoring God with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength, which is God’s greatest commandment throughout the whole Bible.

Another way to look at this is stewardship—or in other words viewing yourself as God’s property and not your own. If your body is not your own, as Paul says, then how does God want you to treat it? How does that affect your view of not only your physical, but also your mental and spiritual health?

There will be times when you have to sacrifice “self-care” because there is a more pressing need that God is calling you to. This could be a season of less sleep (yep, I’m talking to you mamas) or a time when you have to give up something you enjoy. You will probably have periods in your life of more extreme stress and suffering as well.

But that doesn’t mean you should be in a constant state of repressing your own needs—or even your wants. The fully human Jesus himself slept, took time away by himself, feasted and even enjoyed being anointed with luxurious perfume, without guilt or apology. God the Father enjoys giving good gifts to his children—and we can ask for them! There is a time for everything, as Ecclesiastes says.

Related: 20 Simple Self-Care Ideas to Revitalize Body, Mind & Soul

4. Entitlement as Self-Care

Going back to the original question: “Is self-care selfish?” Unfortunately, it can be, when viewed outside of the more biblical understandings I’ve already outlined.

One way self-care is selfish is when we fall into the trap of entitlement. This is, in other words, when we do something that can be good for us, but under the pretext that we deserve it.

I’ll use an example of entitlement from my own life. Like many stay-at-home moms, I lived for nap time when my kids were little. It was a time for me to relax and do what I wanted to do rather than being the chef/nanny/maid 24/7.

So when someone didn’t sleep for their allotted time, for whatever reason (and there were many), I felt angry. After all, I deserved a break, right? How dare my child take that time away from me?

Related: 6 Important Things to Remember When You’re Angry & Frustrated with Your Kids

You can see how self-care entitlement is a very slippery slope indeed. I call to mind a story about self-preservation in Luke. Martha appears to have felt entitled to her sister’s help when they were hosting Jesus. I speculate her mind would have been more at rest with an orderly kitchen and Mary being in her “proper” place, instead of inserting herself in a traditionally male sphere at the feet of the rabbi. Jesus called out her error—perhaps he can call out ours as well.

When you view opportunities for self-care as gifts you can appreciate through the lens of stewardship and rest, rather than entitlements, it’s a lot easier to be flexible and open to different ways God might be working. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t protect your need to rest (quite the opposite, actually). But it does mean you can hold onto your expectations and your boundaries loosely.

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5. Escapism as Self-Care

Another way self-care can be selfish, which is closely related to entitlement, is escapism. 

When practicing escapism as a form of self-care, as the name indicates, you’re escaping rather than really resting. It can be a little tricky to tell the difference, but here are a few examples that compare the two approaches:

  • Resting: enjoying a slice of pie as a way to celebrate the end of the workweek with your family.
  • Escaping: eating a slice of pie as a way to cope with stress from work.
  • Resting: enjoying a bubble bath after the kids have gone to bed as a way to relax your tense muscles for sleep.
  • Escaping: having a bubble bath so you can avoid your husband after your kids have gone to bed.
  • Resting: sleeping in a few minutes late because you were up late praying and talking through a hard day.
  • Escaping: sleeping in a few minutes late because you were binging on Netflix last night to get your mind off your worries.
  • Resting: scrolling Instagram for a few minutes after lunch and feeling inspired by your favorite influencers.
  • Escaping: obsessing over how many people like your posts multiple times a day.

Escapism, frankly, is directly related to idolizing everything but God and resisting rest, which leads us down all kinds of dark paths. We give into the desires of our animal instincts rather than responding to the nudges of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23).

Of course, we all fall short and give into temptation from time to time, and as a result we can feel guilty about any self-care at all! But hopefully you can see that there is a difference between selfish self-care and restful self-care, and that difference is all about the heart behind it.

Related: 12 Signs of Mom Burnout and What to Do About It

How to Practice Non-Selfish Self-Care

For me, the best way to avoid selfish self-care and to embrace biblical self-care is to be intentional about the way I practice it. 

If you’re wondering how, a great place to start is with planning a self-care routine.

Printable Bible Verses for Moms

Now it’s your turn: what are your thoughts on self-care? 

Gina M Poirier

Filed Under: Stress Management

12 Signs of Mom Burnout, and What You Can Actually Do About It

March 5, 2020 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

Overwhelmed and exhausted? Mom burnout is a problem most of us have at some point—here’s how to recognize it and what to do about it.

Also be sure to check out me free email course that will help you think differently about stress and kick burnout to the curb.

Stressed out new perspective

It was a Friday not too long ago and I was T-I-R-E-D. When my husband asked how I was doing, I just gave him “the look.”

You probably know it. It’s the I-have-been-dealing-with-kids-all-week-and-you-don’t-even-know-how-exhausting-this-is-because-my-to-do-list-is-still-18-miles-long-and-my-head-hurts-and-I-would-love-to-just-escape-to-your-office-and-do-grown-up-work-for-a-change. A.k.a the “mommy burnout” look.

Related: 3 Ways Overwhelmed Moms Can Truly Rest

I knew I was in a bad place because I started to indulge in one of my fantasies. This particular one was having an 8–5 job where I could dress professionally, change the world and make a lot of money. Another one would be taking a one-way drive to…anywhere but here. By myself.

Of course, my logical brain knew that I would probably be even more stressed if I went back to work at our current life stage and it probably wouldn’t live up to my fantasy expectations. And no family really ever benefited from the wife/mother running away.

If you’re a mom, stress and burnout are just things that you deal with. Probably more than you’d like to admit.

If you’re like me, you’re probably pushing yourself so hard that you don’t notice that burnout is even happening…until it’s too late. You break, sometimes with adverse side effects to your loved ones and to your health.

But here’s the thing…in my observation, while moms hate feeling this way, in American culture we tend to wear stress likes it’s a badge of honor. Like the fewer hours of sleep and self-care you get, the more superhuman points you have.

(Speaking from experience. Also, hopeless articles like this and this that are so common right now.)

Yes, stress and burnout happen to the best of us. Sometimes you’re going to be under pressure and snap.

But you know what else? This doesn’t have to be our normal, mamas. I’ve spent too much time feeling anxious, depressed and resentful about my motherhood season, and that is NOT the kind of mom I want to raise my kids.

12 Signs of Mom Burnout and What You Can Actually Do About It

Anthony Tran

12 Signs of Mom Burnout (and That Something Needs to Change)

Having kids does weird things to you. You think you’re a happy, healthy person…but then when a little bit of pressure happens (like having children around), that pretty version of yourself starts to fall apart.

Here are a few signs that you’re suffering from mom burnout, as evidenced by your physical and emotional health:

  1. Insomnia: Even when you’re exhausted, you can’t fall asleep when you go to bed because your mind won’t shut down.
  2. Muscle tension: If you suffer from upper back, neck or shoulder pain, chances are that you’re suffering from stress tension. This can be exacerbated by a weak core, poor flexibility, or poor alignment in the spine. I’ve struggled with this kind of pain for years…and whenever it comes back, it’s like an alarm bell for me that I need to address my stress.
  3. Headaches: If you experience tightness and pain at your forehead, or around the back of your head and neck, the tension may be caused by stress.
  4. Skin conditions: Rashes and other outbreaks sometimes indicate that your immune system is run down and not protecting your body the way it should. I personally get a weird fungus on the palms of my hands, especially when I’m not getting enough sleep.
  5. Frequent illnesses: If you feel like you just can’t beat the colds that are coming your way, it may be another sign that your immune system isn’t functioning as it should due to stress.
  6. Anxiety: This is a blanket term, but if you’re suffering from severe conditions like panic attacks and a racing pulse, that’s a sign that something is very wrong! (Please see a doctor.) Even if you don’t experience the obvious physical systems, ongoing worry and anxiety will wear on you emotionally and physically.
  7. Menstrual cycle fluctuations: When your body is in the stress response, it is essentially telling your ovaries that now is not a good time to make babies. If you’re having abnormal fluctuations, stress may be the cause.
  8. Weight fluctuations: Stress can affect your weight in either direction, due to emotional eating, loss of appetite or poor digestion.
  9. Digestive issues: When you’re under stress, your body will naturally be focused on tasks related to immediate survival (for our ancestors, that was often running away from danger). When this happens, the body saves energy by pulling away from less important tasks—like digesting your food properly. If you deal with a range of digestion issues, consider stress.
  10. Moodiness and irritability: This is perhaps less extreme than some of the physical symptoms, but it may be one of the things that bother you the most. If you are unreasonably emotionally reactive to the people you love or things in your everyday life, it may be a symptom of underlying stress. Stress affects your hormones, which can cause you to be depressed and cranky.
  11. Escapism and addiction: Do you have a bad habit that you’re having a hard time mastering? It could be anything from overeating to drug abuse to social media addiction. In times of stress, you’re going to be a lot more likely to turn to self-medicating.
  12. Inability to focus or remember: Remember, when your body is in the stress response, your brain is focused on survival and doing what it perceives is most important. But that means that details like where you left your car keys can be forgotten.

I don’t share this list to scare you. But as you can see, there are consequences to living this way. An estimated 75-90 percent of doctor visits are related to stress-related conditions!

Not dealing with the minor symptoms now can lead to major problems down the road. Plus, no one wants to be stuck as a cranky, irrational mom. I sure don’t.

Related: 7 Easy Ways for Moms to Find Stress Relief

Stressed out new perspective

Practical Ways to Deal with Mom Burnout

 I already know what you’re thinking, because I think it too: being a mom is so stinking demanding. It just doesn’t seem realistic to go on a six-month sabbatical or spend an hour in meditative prayer each morning.

So what can we do?

We’re not fighting this battle alone. Jesus said that those who are beaten, broken, weary and burdened are blessed. Not because they’re tough, but because he loves them.

When we are weak, his strength can shine (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Having said that, if you’re feeling burned out as a mom, I don’t want to just give you a feel-good pat on the back. The more I’ve lived and studied and learned, the more strongly I believe that when we really look to Jesus and the wisdom of the Bible, we are fully equipped to be better wives and moms.

Stress-free? No. But made better and stronger through our trials? Yes.

I believe that mom burnout doesn’t have to be our m.o. But in order to beat it, we have to first recognize it and its consequences, and then respond with intention.

Related: 10 Bible Verses for the Stressed Out Mama

You’ve probably heard about “fight or flight” mode. You’ve probably been told that stress is bad for you and makes you sick and that you should avoid it. Maybe you even grabbed a handy but vague flyer from the doctor’s office about stress management.

However…

These things are not helpful for a mom suffering from burnout! They probably make you feel more stressed!

Here’s the deal: God designed you to respond to stress for your good. It is part of living and life. It’s the way your body responds when something you care about it is at stake.

So let me rephrase that: stress is actually good for you. The Bible doesn’t use the word “stress” the way we understand it, but it sure does refer to suffering. And suffering, while not pleasant, helps us grow.

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A post shared by Gina M Poirier (@ginampoirier) on Oct 2, 2019 at 2:23pm PDT

Once you understand that, you can start processing the reality of stress in your life in healthy ways. Here are a few suggestions:

  1. Recognize what you can and can’t control. If you took a few minutes and wrote down the things that were causing you stress, how many of them do you think are factors that you can change? My guess is very few.
  2. Pray with focus and intention. Those things you can’t change? Submit them to the one who has the power to do anything. You might not get the outcome you want, but by relinquishing control you are taking a load off your shoulders. (See more on how to pray.)
  3. Set priorities and boundaries. You do have control over how you spend your time and energy. Protect what’s yours. Simplify your life and learn how to manage your time.
  4. Take your thoughts captive. Toxic thinking leads to more toxic thinking and actually harms your brain. You can change the way you think.
  5. Practice rest and self-care. I used to think that I would rest after my kids got older. While being a mom is demanding, I still have a responsibility to take care of these limited resources called my body and my mind. Sabbath rest was instituted in the Bible from the first chapter. We’re not exempt just because we’re busy.
  6. Lean on your support system. Human beings were created to live in community, yet so many of us are trying to raise our families in isolation. I know it’s hard, but recognize your limits and ask for support—whether it’s from your husband, your family or the neighbor you don’t know very well. And if you don’t know whom to ask (because I’ve been there), then that is the first thing you can start praying about.

Related: 5 Radically Different Stress Relief Tips Every Mom Needs to Hear

Fortunately for the innocent bystanders in my household, I’ve had enough mom burnout moments that I’ve learned how to recover quickly. Over that weekend I was able to take time to recharge and strategize about how to not be psycho wife. And for the most part, it worked.

Mom burnout happens, but I believe that when you recognize your limits and manage your stress response prayerfully, it doesn’t have to be the norm.

Want to learn more about managing stress, biblically and practically? Be sure to sign up for StressLESS!

Stressed out new perspective

Do you think you might be suffering from mom burnout? What are you going to do about it?

Filed Under: Stress Management

5 Radically Different Stress Relief Tips Every Mom Needs to Hear

February 27, 2020 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment


You’ve probably heard the typical stress relief tips like eating better, meditating and exercise…and feel guilty about not following them. What you really need is to radically shift your mindset—so you can live the life God intended you to.

Read on if you want to learn five refreshing ways to be transformed…and if you want to dig even deeper, be sure to check out my free email course on radically different stress management, StressLESS.

Stressed out new perspective

I get emails all the time about how hard mom life is.

From different parts of the country and world, from families of all sizes and lifestyles, I hear you. You don’t get enough sleep. The kids’ needs are so demanding. Your marriage is suffering. You’re lonely; your home is a disaster; you wish you could pray more, but you’re so completely spent that you can’t focus for more than a few seconds at a time.

To sum it up, we are all dealing with the reality of stress in the modern world.

It’s one of the reasons I completed a certificate in Christian stress management coaching a couple of years ago. We’ve all got this ugly thing hanging over our head—stress— that few of us really know how to deal with.

But since over 75% of visits to the doctor’s office (at least in the U.S.) are stress-related, we’ve got to face the fact that maybe our society isn’t equipping us with the best ways to cope. As a result, our health, our faith and our relationships suffer.

If you pick up a pamphlet with secular stress management tips, you’ll probably see the typical checklist of the things you should be doing: Take breaks. Exercise more and eat less sugar. Meditate.

One thing they forget to mention is how to deal with the panic you feel when you realize that these are just more things to add to your to-do list.

That’s why I decided to take a different approach when it comes to stress. I’ve developed a 5-part biblical framework with stress relief tips for moms that are not things to add to your to-do list. Rather, they’re a way to shift your perspective and be empowered to live your life fully the way God intended you to.

Want to dig deeper? StressLESS is a five-day email course that will help you shift your mindset.

5 Stress Relief Tips You Need to Hear

5 Radically Different Stress Relief Tips Every Mom Needs to Hear

1. Repeat After Me: Stress Is Not Evil

When you start to care about something—be it trivial like what to eat for dinner or more substantial like a loved one’s illness—your body responds physiologically. Your attention and your senses are heightened. Adrenaline and cortisol are released. Your heart beats faster; you mobilize your energy and start to sweat. You’re motivated to act and might be anxious or excited. 

You may have heard of this defined as “fight or flight,” so named because these reactions help us respond in an emergency.

The problem is, when your body is in this state too much and doesn’t receive adequate recovery time, you can start to suffer. Chronic stress leads to a host of complications including anxiety disorders, addictions and a weakened immune system.

What many people don’t know is that stress has benefits, aside from enabling you to respond quickly. It can also help you reach out to others and grow in your knowledge and wisdom. 

Related: Why Stress is Actually Good For You

Repeat after me: stress is not evil. It just has to be understood and properly managed. When I first started studying it, it dawned on me that God has known this and has been sharing this with us all along: 

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. 

Romans 5:3–4, NIV

With this shift in mindset, you can stop stressing out about stressing out (because really, that in itself is quite stressful!).

2. Let Go of What You Can’t Control

Perhaps you’ve heard of the Serenity Prayer, attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

Someone once told me that the only things we really have control over are our little daily decisions. And over time, these decisions add up and help determine the course of our lives.

This is an important stress relief tip for moms to recognize because sometimes we spend way too much time agonizing over the things we can’t control, when we could be a lot more productive focusing on the things we can.

I call the things you can’t control stress environments and events. These include things like your workplace, your relationships, where you live, death, divorce, job change, new marriage, new baby or a move. In some cases you can remove yourself from these stressors, but sometimes you can’t.

But let’s talk about the things you can control. In essence, these are the things that either help you when you’re responding to stress, or hurt you. I call them aggravators and stabilizers.

Stress aggravators are poor responses to stress and unhealthy practices in your life.

Stress stabilizers are conditions and habits in your life that can minimize the impact of stress.

It takes work, but focusing on these two things can make you much more resilient to the stressors in your life you can’t control.

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A post shared by Gina M Poirier (@ginampoirier) on Sep 25, 2019 at 3:46pm PDT

3. Take Control of Toxic Thinking

I’m going to talk about one of the aggravators that can wreak havoc on your stress levels. You could call it negative thinking; I think it might be more accurately described as believing the enemy’s lies.

I have to be perfect.

I need to be more like that other mom.

I need to read my Bible and pray in a certain way in order to be a good Christian.

These lies come subtly and are easy to consume. We turn them over and over in our heads until we’re paralyzed and stressed out.

There’s a better way, and this stress management tip comes straight from the New Testament:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:4–9, NIV

You have control over your thoughts. It takes a ton of work, but you can actually retrain your brain to focus on what’s true, noble and right.

Related: 10 Bible Verses for the Stressed Out Mom

Stressed out new perspective

4. Be the Boss of Your Boundaries

My tendency as a mama is to take the weight of the world on my shoulders. Not only do I worry about my kids and making the perfect life for them, but I worry about pleasing everyone around me—extended family, church family, work demands, you name it.

But when I’m not careful, I can skyrocket my stress level with this powerful aggravator called poor boundaries.

When you have poor boundaries, you take more ownership than you need to in stressful situations. You try to fix problems that aren’t yours. You have a hard time saying “no.” Not only does this steal other people’s freedom to own their own problems (even within your own family!), but you can start sliding down the slippery slope of resentment and blame.

And of course, through it all, stress hormones continue to pump through your body. 

Proverbs 14:10 says, “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.” While you can empathize with other people’s problems, coach them, and pray for them, you can’t and shouldn’t own them. Do you see the difference?

Better boundaries are something I have been working on for years in the way I spend my time and where I invest my heart. If you have difficulty setting boundaries, you’re probably not going to get an instant fix, but you can make huge strides in the right direction!

You can start working on this anytime. Say no to the responsibilities that aren’t yours to take.

Related: How to Set Biblical Boundaries as a Christian

5. Choose Rest When You’re Stressed

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A post shared by Gina M Poirier (@ginampoirier) on Apr 11, 2019 at 3:51pm PDT

God invented rest and practiced it on the seventh day of the creation account we read in Genesis 1–2. He made his day of rest, called the Shabbat, holy, or set apart as something special. He sat back, celebrated the completion of his work, and enjoyed what he had made. Later, he commanded his chosen people, the Israelites, to do the same at the end of their workweek.

I’m guessing most of my readers (myself included) wouldn’t consider themselves to be bound to the Shabbat laws of Torah. But…maybe we’re missing out?

I identify adequate rest as a stabilizer when it comes to your personal stress level. We’re better equipped to respond to what life throws at us when we’re better rested—not only physically, but mentally and spiritually too. 

We need rest. Otherwise, not only do we get run down, but we also forget about our Creator who wants us to celebrate his creation with him. 

How to Put These Stress Relief Tips into Practice 

I’ve found that what is truly restful isn’t always convenient. Sometimes you’ll just have to “let it go” when the work you so desperately want to finish has to sit another day. Just remember that, for many centuries, people have trusted God to provide when they chose not to work and to honor him instead.

I hope you’ve found these stress relief tips helpful whether you’re a mom or really any human with responsibilities. When you’re mindful about managing your stress, not only do you equip yourself to be a better parent and spouse, but I believe you also give more space for God to work in your life.

To learn more, I’d encourage you to sign up for my free email course, StressLESS, in which you’ll get five lessons over five days.

Stressed out new perspective

Leave a comment: what’s your attitude towards stress, and what’s a stress relief tip you’ve found helpful?

gina m poirier

Filed Under: Stress Management

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I'm Gina, a happily married mom of three and stress management coach. I help exhausted, overwhelmed moms find peace and purpose in the everyday. Be sure to sign up for tons of free resources that will help you stop just surviving and start thriving! Read More…

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