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Want a More Restful Christmas Season? Here’s What to Do

December 4, 2018 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

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It’s the holiday season! Which means lots of fun, celebration, aaaand…

..for many of us, a good healthy dose of stress and burnout.

These are often accompanied by lovely side effects including binge eating of Christmas cookies, temper tantrums, family squabbles and a hefty credit card bill.

If this is you—and you’re in good company if it is, my friend—I have good news and bad news. Bad news first: holiday stress is unavoidable. (Unless you just choose not to participate, which in my opinion would be sad.)

Now the good news: there are some things within your control that can help you experience a much more restful Christmas season, even with the added stress.

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Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information.

10 Tips for a More Restful Christmas

One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn as a mom, wife and homemaker is that I am in charge of my daily decisions. God is ultimately in control of what happens to me, but I choose how to respond. So if my schedule is too busy and everyone is cranky and we miss the “meaning of Christmas,” I can’t just blame the season or society for making our lives difficult.

I lecture myself periodically about this because it’s all too easy to just throw my hands up and succumb to the madness…

You don’t have to succumb to the madness either. If you want a more restful, meaningful, peaceful Christmas with your family, I have a few practical ways you can prepare yourself for the season.

1. Anchor Yourself in Christ

It’s catchy to say that “Jesus is the reason for the season;” yet around December, he kinda gets kicked to the curb. And I’m not talking about the debate whether you should say “Merry Christmas” versus “Happy Holidays;” I’m talking about personally being in his presence on a daily basis.

There are a lot of ways to practice a dynamic relationship with Christ (see more ideas on how to read the Bible, how to pray and my quiet time bucket list). One practice to consider at this time of year is observing Advent.

Advent is part of the liturgical calendar (a fancy word for worship calendar) that some churches follow. It comes from the Latin word adventus, which means “coming.” During the season of Advent, you reflect on the coming of Christ.

In nature, winter is a time of year that is slow and quiet. It begs us to stop. Listen. Reflect. Meditate. Rest. (Quite the opposite of the holiday hustle and bustle!) This is the spirit of Advent, as you anticipate God’s greatest gift and prepare to celebrate Jesus’s arrival.

Whether or not your church follows a liturgical calendar, you can still take this time to reflect on and pray about the meaning of Advent in your daily times with God. I tend to gravitate towards reading the beginning of Matthew and Luke during this time of year, as well as messianic prophecies.

Advent devotionals are also pretty easy to come by. I love Arabah Joy’s prayer journals, so this year I am using Praying the Names of Jesus: An Advent Prayer Journal.

Learn More

By the way, anchoring yourself in Christ should be something we practice year-round! I’ve rounded up my favorite scriptures for moms in every season; access them here.

2. Anchor Your Family in Christ

My daughter recently asked for an Advent calendar. Not because she was wanting to participate in Advent, but because she’d seen an ad for a cool calendar with a surprise you can open every day as you count down to The Biggest Toy Day.

Sigh. Turns out I’m not the only one who needs a heart check around the holidays.

I really enjoy participating in the magic feeling of Christmastime with little ones, including the gift part, but kids’ hearts are naturally going to be pulled towards all the cool things they’re going to get under the tree.

It takes some intention on our part as parents to keep our family focused on why we celebrate.

I did ultimately get an “Advent calendar” with a little gift to open each day. But instead of a toy, it’s an ornament they get to open, which has a corresponding family devotional we get to read each day.

By December 25, we’ll get to put a star on the tree and will have discovered The Wonder of the Greatest Gift.

And the kids are pretty excited about it! It turns out they just like to open things.

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This is otherwise known as a “Jesse tree,” a decorative tree used during Advent to retell the stories of the Bible that lead to Jesus’s birth. Jesse was King David’s father and an ancestor of Jesus (hence why Jesus is called the “Branch of Jesse” in the Bible). I was surprised to learn that this tradition goes back to the Middle Ages! So while it has gained popularity in recent years, it’s certainly no passing fad.

I love it.

There are other ways we can keep our family focused on Christ during the Christmas season like listening to worshipful Christmas music and reading the story of the nativity. We also try to get the focus off ourselves and on others, such as volunteering and donating to gift drives to the less fortunate.

I know it can feel overwhelming to think of worshipful traditions as more things to mark of on your long Christmas “to-do” list. But it helps to remember that:

Worshiping God is the heart of the holiday.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, it shouldn’t be.

3. Identify Your Priorities

For the first few Christmases I shared with my husband, I wasn’t really sure what I even wanted it to look like and worried whether we were doing it the way we “should.” It got more complicated when we added kids to the equation. How should we approach Santa, stockings, outings, crafts, food, travel…and on and on?

The truth is, for a restful Christmas, you can’t do all the things. You can’t see all the people, send all the cards, have the perfect house and make all the food. You can’t spend all the money either.

But you can choose what’s most important.

I believe in the power of writing things down. There’s something about writing on paper that makes you commit a bit more to your intentions. To be intentional about a more restful Christmas, I recommend writing down your vision for it early (I’m talking like October or early November).

I wrote the following statement in my planner this year:

This holiday season, my priorities are:

Growing in and celebrating Christ
Loving others (community, family and friends)
Laughter
Coziness
Great food

Now, as I plan out my schedule and budget, I read that statement. If what I’m planning doesn’t contribute to that vision, then it’s not going to make it on the calendar.

I encourage you to write out a similar statement with 4–5 things that you can focus on. Put it somewhere visible so that you can remember those priorities when life starts to get a little too busy.

4. Pick Your Favorite Traditions

Danger: when you look at your priorities, it can be tempting to want to do multiple things that contribute to the best Christmas ever.

But you don’t have to visit every relative, volunteer at 50 events and make 50 types of Christmas cookies. If you can do one thing loving for your community, one thing that creates coziness, one thing that celebrates Christ, and so on, you can be content with that. In fact, you might find that simplicity is the most effective approach.

There will be some years when you won’t be able to do as much. Maybe you’re in the middle of a move or have a newborn. Perhaps you’re having health issues or it was just a busy year and you’re just exhausted.

It’s okay. Take a deep breath.

Write down some of your favorite family traditions (or the ones you want to start). Do they match your priorities, in a balanced way?

Next, write down one tradition under each priority that you can realistically accomplish this year.

The ones that didn’t make the cut? Write those down as “maybes.” Play it by ear, and if you feel like they would contribute to your priorities, then add them in.

If you don’t get to do everything you hoped you would, could you perhaps do it next year? There are some things that our family does some years but not every year. And I like it that way.

5. Plan Your Calendar

A wise person once said, “You run your schedule. It doesn’t run you.”

If you’ve already set your priorities and identified the most important traditions that you want to keep this year, then this part should be a piece of cake. (Or fudge. Or sugar cookies.)

I’m a big fan of time blocking, which is exactly what it sounds like: breaking your time into blocks and planning tasks accordingly. At the beginning of the week, I look at my Google calendar and take note of my appointments. Then I look at my priorities for the week and plan out when I can fit them in.

You can see my process in more detail: The Ultimate Time Management Guide for Moms.

When you do this, you’re in control of what goes on the calendar…and what stays off.

I also recommend spacing out must-do holiday tasks like shopping, decorating, volunteering, baking, gift wrapping, party planning and so on. If you squeeze it into one weekend, you will die. Or are least get really, really cranky.

So while it’s not terrible to wait until the last minute, you’re going to thank yourself later if you can not be frantically wrapping all the gifts well into the late hours on Christmas Eve. (Not like I’d know anything about that, cough cough.)

Lastly, leave margin in your schedule. Every. Day. Because life happens in the form of bad weather, traffic, misunderstandings, emotions, messes and illnesses. This is just good advice in general, but during the holidays it’s even more vital! Plus, it gives you the opportunity to act spontaneously from time to time, which I’d argue is vital for your soul.

6. Plan Your Budget

Okay, so honestly, money is one of the areas that can cause the most stress around Christmas. I’ve worked on budgeting for holidays in the past…but following those budgets hasn’t gone so well.

I think I just haven’t been realistic about the kind of Christmas we want to have and the amount of money that kind of Christmas costs.

If your budget isn’t working, you either have to change your expectations so that you can spend less or, if possible, put more money aside so that those expectations can be met.

In the past, I’ve found that I simply forget how much stuff costs. When you budget for the holidays, remember to include, when applicable:

Gifts for family (plan out for individuals!)
Gifts for community (school, work, etc.)
Charitable giving
Family outings
Extra or more expensive groceries
Dining out
Holiday apparel
Decorations
Less income if you don’t get holiday pay
Travel expenses
Childcare during parties or winter break
Postage and printing for Christmas cards

When you write it all out like this, it’s obvious why it is so easy to go over budget!

Ideally, you should be planning for the holidays months ahead of time; otherwise, you’ll be caught on your heels come December. But even if you’re late in the game, just being aware of all the hidden expenses can help you not go overboard.

Jessi Fearon has some great info on this: Holiday Budget Planning.

7. Communicate with Your Family

So all this planning I’m talking about for a restful Christmas…let me back up a bit. Chances are, you’re not the only one with needs and opinions in your household.

As I said above, my husband and I had different experiences growing up, and thus, we have different expectations about Christmas. If we’re not communicating about what those expectations are, we’re on track to get into a fight.

And yes, we’ve had a few Christmas-related arguments over the years.

I’m the one in the marriage who’s more inclined to detailed planning, so I just have to be sure to talk to him about what I’m thinking. We have regular conversations during the holiday season where we discuss things like:

Priorities this year
Budget
Shopping lists
Family calendar
Extended family expectations
Parties and other commitments
Food
Decorations

We try to make time every night to connect and talk if we need to. Each week we go over the schedule. I also try to make a point around mid-November to talk about our priorities and plans before the chaos begins.

My friend Elizabeth wrote some hilarious and wise thoughts on this: Have Yourself a Merry Married Christmas.

As the kids get older, they tend to have their own expectations as well. Talk about it around the table!

Lastly, communicate with your extended family and friends, once you’re clear about your expectations within your household.

8. Keep Your Blinders On

I think I may need to limit my time on Instagram during the holiday season. I see beautiful, simplistic living room arrangements with gorgeous trees cut by hand in the mountains, with matching embossed stockings over a warm fireplace.

We have a tree. Right next to the Barbie house and the play kitchen, because the family room also happens to be the playroom. I think I bought the stockings on clearance and wrote the kids’ names in Sharpie on the inside so we could tell them apart. Maybe we have firewood somewhere in the garage? I’m pretty sure it has been over a year since we used the fireplace for you know…burning logs.

I am more than two decades out of junior high, yet I still fall into the comparison trap.

Some other family is probably going to decorate better, cook better, give better gifts, be more spiritual and have more fun than your family. So what?

If your family is anchored in Christ, focusing on your priorities and traditions, and you’re communicating well, it shouldn’t matter what other people are doing.

9. Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries

As hard as you try, sometimes the source of stress at Christmastime isn’t your lack of planning or intention. It’s the other people: family, co-workers, neighbors and friends.

The first step minimizing your agony about everyone else is to remember that you are not responsible for their thoughts, feelings and general attitudes. You can take ownership of yourself and, to some extent, your family.

Recognizing your separateness and taking ownership for what you rightly should is called setting boundaries.

You won’t make everyone happy.

You can’t do everything.

You are allowed to say no.

What’s more, you can be kind and compassionate about communicating these limits.

There’s a lot I could say about this, as boundaries have been some of the most powerful tools I’ve discovered as an adult. If you’re not familiar with boundaries, then I highly recommend putting Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend on your Christmas list!

10. Choose Rest

Hopefully it’s clear by now that you may have more control than you think over how the holiday season goes. Will there be unexpected surprises, busyness and drama? Most likely. But will you be at peace about it? That’s up to you.

Rest is a choice. When I leave more space in myt heart and in my schedule and stop trying to respond to all the “shoulds” in my life, I’ve seen God work in the best ways.

Don’t forget, rest is also about caring for yourself. Just because it’s busy doesn’t give you license to sacrifice sleep and sanity.

I hope you feel refreshed knowing that you can have a restful Christmas, my friend! Which of these tips can you put into practice this year?

50+ Easy, Frugal & Fun Winter Activities for the Whole Family

November 26, 2018 by Gina Poirier 2 Comments

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For many people, “winter fun” is a misnomer. But fun winter activities can and should be on the docket for you this year no matter where you live!

Having lived in several different climates, I believe that it’s all about perspective.

If you dread winter and think you’re going to have a lousy time of it, then that’s probably what it’s going to be: lousy. But if you think of all of the things you can enjoy about the season, you can get excited about the ways you can spend time with your family—especially in those slow months after Christmas, or during winter break.

I like winter, but I can get kind of lazy about actually enjoying it. It’s just easier to sit around and let the kids have more screen time. And while part of the magic of winter actually is having an excuse to laze around, it can lead to being whiny and unappreciative of the season (whether snow or no snow!).

That’s why it’s useful to have a list of fun winter activities to inspire you on those lazy days when you’re feeling a little stir crazy. What I like about these ideas is that they’re easy and cheap—meaning very little planning is required. Some are indoor (so they work no matter what climate you’re in), while others are obviously outdoor.

Just remember: this is not a “must-do” list. It’s an inspirational list to help you be a tad more intentional with those precious moments with your family. They are split into categories. Choose a few and put them on your calendar or bucket list if desired, or just do them spontaneously. Whatever works for you 🙂

(Want to learn more about enjoying your family and not overdoing it? Check out 12 Signs of Mom Burnout, and What You Can Actually Do About It.)

Easy, Frugal & Fun Winter Activities for the Whole Family

Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information.

Winter Treats

My kids love helping me bake and cook, so the winter months are an ideal time to do it together. There are lots of recipes that are simple enough for even a toddler to help with. Note that some of these are just for adults (perfect for a date night!).

Hot chocolate: Forget the weird powder and go for gourmet with 21 Delicious Hot Chocolates You Must Make This Winter.
Cookies: Not just for Christmas! Kid-friendly recipes include Snickerdoodles, Peanut Butter Kisses and the best sugar cookie recipe I’ve ever used.
No-bake treats: I absolutely love this foolproof fudge recipe. For the kiddos try classic muddy buddies, no-bake oatmeal cookies and many varieties of Rice Krispies Treats.
Mulled drinks: 10 fragrant options for grownups only!
Hot apple cider: Choose from 10 different recipes.
Host a cookie swap: This is ideal for Christmas time, but why not in the middle of January? Invite a few families over; everyone brings a different kind of cookie and trades them.

Snow Fun

The options obviously will vary depending on where you live and what the weather forecast is, but here’s a fun little winter bucket list.

Go sledding.
Go tubing: Check out a local golf course to see if they offer rentals.
Build a snowman/woman/creature: Try decorating with candy!
Build a snow fort or castle: Use plastic sleds and your sand toys as building tools. Here are some more things to build and create in the snow.
Dig a snow cave: Use common sense and make sure kids are supervised so they won’t get buried.
Go snowshoeing or cross-country skiing: See if you can borrow the equipment if you’ve never done it before. Make sure you know how to navigate and stick to well-traveled trails!
Do some squirt-gun snow painting.
Play an outdoor group game: try capture the flag or freeze tag; the snow is an added fun variable!
Do a scavenger hunt: Hide something in the snow and give the kids little clues to find it.
Follow the leader: One person makes footprints, while others have to follow.
Make snow angels.
Have a snowball fight.
Throw snowballs at targets: Make them out of cardboard or just pick some natural targets—like a big circle you can draw in the snow.
Play tic-tac-toe.
Blow bubbles: and watch them freeze! Just store the solution indoors.

Fun Places to Visit in Winter

If you’d rather be indoors (mostly) but need to get out of the house, try some of these frugal destinations.

Local library: Are you aware of what programs your library has to offer? It may have a playroom, crafts and classes for all ages!
Children’s museum: We receive a pass to our local museum, which gives us a discount in other cities as well.
Ice skating rink: Indoor or outdoor, depending on your location.
Roller skating rink.
Bowling alley.
“Open gym”: Sometimes local gymnastics facilities have a free time during which kids can run wild. Within reason.
Zoo or aquarium: Our local zoo is open year round! In the winter it’s decorated with lights.
Nature center: Do you have one nearby? See if they offer any classes, or if they’re open for visits.
Free family or kids events at local businesses: toy shops, craft stores, dance studios and even hardware stores sometimes host free or low-price classes. Check your local listings.

Simple Winter Activities at Home

This is where you spend most of your time together, so make the most of it!

Have a weekly family night. We like ours with popcorn and movie!
Play board games.
Have a scavenger hunt.
Play with building toys: These never get old.
Build forts. Couch cushions are great, or kick it up a notch with these.
Get creative with painter’s tape: go crazy on the floor! Build mazes, city streets for your toy cars, hopscotch, whatever!
Do jigsaw puzzles.
Easy winter crafts: Stuff you can do with little to zero planning. Try 6-sided snowflakes, snowflake painting, cottonball snowman, and winter tree finger painting
Play balloon tennis.
Give toddlers a bunch of straws. No joke. For added fun, have them stick them in a water bottle or open a discovery box.
Have a dance party. Or a lip-syncing contest. Or whatever your jam is.
Create an at-home puppet show or “stage” performance. Have your kids bring their favorite stories to life.
Snuggle by the fireplace: You might appreciate this more once the kids go to sleep ;).
Roast s’mores: You can do this indoors on a gas range, the fireplace or a microwave; for a little adventure try doing it outdoors in a portable fire pit.

Educational Winter Activities

These are not just educational but fun winter activities of course!!

Participate in a service project: Here are some great ideas for all ages.
Go on a nature walk: No matter what the climate, there’s so much to learn! Make observations with your kids about the natural world at this time of year.
Visit a maple grove: This is something that you can plan for at the beginning of spring, and obviously it depends on where you live. But if you can do an educational visit on location where maple syrup is produced, it is truly fascinating.
Read books aloud: Kids love to be read to at any age! For a suggested reading list I recommend Read Aloud Revival.
Listen to audiobooks. This keeps my kids out of my hair with less guilt than TV!
Study snowflakes: we love this book.
Do simple science: jog your brain with 200 winter science activities for kids.
Make bird feeders: I think these cookie cutters are a cute idea. Don’t tell the kids that the squirrels usually get them first.

I could go on and on! Aren’t you excited for winter?

What are some of your favorite family traditions? Leave a comment below…and if you’re a mom looking for inspiration and purpose in your motherhood journey, be sure to check out my library of resources for lots of freebies and faith encouragement.

12 Signs of Mom Burnout, and What You Can Actually Do About It

November 7, 2018 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

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It was a Friday night a few weeks ago and I was T-I-R-E-D. When my husband asked how I was doing, I just gave him “the look.”

You probably know it. It’s the I-have-been-dealing-with-kids-all-week-and-you-don’t-even-know-how-exhausting-this-is-because-my-to-do-list-is-still-18-miles-long-and-my-head-hurts-and-I-would-love-to-just-escape-to-your-office-and-do-grown-up-work-for-a-change. A.k.a the “mommy burnout” look.

I knew I was in a bad place because I started to indulge in one of my fantasies. This particular one was having an 8–5 job where I could dress professionally, change the world and make a lot of money. Another one would be taking a one-way drive to…anywhere but here. By myself.

Of course, my logical brain knew that I would probably be even more stressed if I went to back to work at our current life stage and it probably wouldn’t live up to my fantasy expectations. And no family really ever benefited from the wife/mother running away.

If you’re a mom, stress and burnout are just things that you deal with. Probably more than you’d like to admit.

By the way, if you’re feeling burned out, you’re not the only one. Sign up for my free email course and learn how to manage stress biblically.

Click here to learn more!

If you’re like me, you’re probably pushing yourself so hard that you don’t notice that burnout is even happening…until it’s too late. You break, sometimes with adverse side effects to your loved ones and to your health.

But here’s the thing…in my observation, while moms hate feeling this way, in American culture we tend to wear stress likes it’s a badge of honor. Like the fewer hours of sleep and self-care you get, the more superhuman points you have

(Speaking from experience. Also, hopeless articles like this and this that are so common right now.)

Yes, stress and burnout happen to the best of us. Sometimes you’re going to be under pressure and snap.

But you know what else? This doesn’t have to be our normal, mamas. I’ve spent too much time feeling anxious, depressed and resentful about my motherhood season, and that is NOT the kind of mom I want to raise my kids.

Anthony Tran

12 Signs You’re Burned Out (and That Something Needs to Change)

Having kids does weird things to you. You think you’re a happy, healthy person…but then when a little bit of pressure happens (like having children around), that pretty version of yourself starts to fall apart.

Here are a few signs that you’re burned out, as evidenced by your physical and emotional health:

Insomnia: Even when you’re exhausted, you can’t fall asleep when you go to bed because your mind won’t shut down.
Muscle tension: If you suffer from upper back, neck or shoulder pain, chances are that you’re suffering from stress tension. This can be exacerbated by a weak core, poor flexibility, or poor alignment in the spine. I’ve struggled with this kind of pain for years…and whenever it comes back, it’s like an alarm bell for me that I need to address my stress.
Headaches: If you experience tightness and pain at your forehead, or around the back of your head and neck, the tension may be caused by stress.
Skin conditions: Rashes and other outbreaks sometimes indicate that your immune system is run down and not protecting your body the way it should. I personally get a weird fungus on the palms of my hands, especially when I’m not getting enough sleep.
Frequent illnesses: If you feel like you just can’t beat the colds that are coming your way, it may be another sign that your immune system isn’t functioning as it should due to stress.
Anxiety: This is a blanket term, but if you’re suffering from severe conditions like panic attacks and a racing pulse, that’s a sign that something is very wrong! (Please see a doctor.) Even if you don’t experience the obvious physical systems, ongoing worry and anxiety will wear on you emotionally and physically.
Menstrual cycle fluctuations: When your body is in the stress response, it is essentially telling your ovaries that now is not a good time to make babies. If you’re having abnormal fluctuations, stress may be the cause.
Weight fluctuations: Stress can affect your weight in either direction, due to emotional eating, loss of appetite or poor digestion.
Digestive issues: When you’re under stress, your body will naturally be focused on tasks related to immediate survival (for our ancestors, that was often running away from danger). When this happens, the body saves energy by pulling away from less important tasks—like digesting your food properly. If you deal with a range of digestion issues, consider stress.
Moodiness and irritability: This is perhaps less extreme than some of the physical symptoms, but it may be one of the things that bother you the most. If you are unreasonably emotionally reactive to the people you love or things in your everyday life, it may be a symptom of underlying stress. Stress affects your hormones, which can cause you to be depressed and cranky.
Escapism and addiction: Do you have a bad habit that you’re having a hard time mastering? It could be anything from overeating to drug abuse to social media addiction. In times of stress, you’re going to be a lot more likely to turn to self-medicating.
Inability to focus or remember: Remember, when your body is in the stress response, your brain is focused on survival and doing what it perceives is most important. But that means that details like where you left your car keys can be forgotten.

I don’t share this list to scare you. But as you can see, there are consequences to living this way. An estimated 75-90 percent of doctor visits are related to stress-related conditions!

Not dealing with the minor symptoms now can lead to major problems down the road. Plus, no one wants to be stuck as a cranky, irrational mom. I sure don’t.

Practical Ways to Deal with Mom Burnout

(Want to learn more about managing stress, biblically and practically?
Don’t forget to check out StressLESS)

I already know what you’re thinking, because I think it too: being a mom is so stinking demanding. It just doesn’t seem realistic to go on a six-month sabbatical or spend an hour in meditative prayer each morning.

So what can we do?

We’re not fighting this battle alone. Jesus said that those who are beaten, broken, weary and burdened are blessed. Not because they’re tough, but because he loves them.

When we are weak, his strength can shine (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Having said that, if you’re feeling burned out as a mom, I don’t want to just give you a feel-good pat on the back. The more I’ve lived and studied and learned, the more strongly I believe that when we really look to Jesus and the wisdom of the Bible, we are fully equipped to be better wives and moms.

Stress-free? No. But made better and stronger through our trials? Yes.

I believe that mom burnout doesn’t have to be our m.o. But in order to beat it, we have to first recognize it and its consequences, and then respond with intention.

You’ve probably heard about “fight or flight” mode. You’ve probably been told that stress is bad for you and makes you sick and that you should avoid it. Maybe you even grabbed a handy but vague flyer from the doctor’s office about stress management.

However…

These things are not helpful for a mom suffering from burnout! They probably make you feel more stressed!

Here’s the deal: God designed you to respond to stress for your good. It is part of living and life. It’s the way your body responds when something you care about it is at stake.

So let me rephrase that: stress is actually good for you. The Bible doesn’t use the word “stress” the way we understand it, but it sure does refer to suffering. And suffering, while not pleasant, helps us grow.

Once you understand that, you can start processing the reality of stress in your life in healthy ways. Here are a few suggestions:

Recognize what you can and can’t control. If you took a few minutes and wrote down the things that were causing you stress, how many of them do you think are factors that you can change? My guess is very few.
Pray with focus and intention. Those things you can’t change? Submit them to the one who has the power to do anything. You might not get the outcome you want, but by relinquishing control you are taking a load off your shoulders. (See more on how to pray.)
Set priorities and boundaries. You do have control over how you spend your time and energy. Protect what’s yours. Simplify your life and learn how to manage your time.
Take your thoughts captive. Toxic thinking leads to more toxic thinking and actually harms your brain. You can change the way you think.
Practice rest and self-care. I used to think that I would rest after my kids got older. While being a mom is demanding, I still have a responsibility to take care of these limited resources called my body and my mind. Sabbath rest was instituted in the Bible from the first chapter. We’re not exempt just because we’re busy.
Lean on your support system. Human beings were created to live in community, yet so many of us are trying to raise our families in isolation. I know it’s hard, but recognize your limits and ask for support—whether it’s from your husband, your family or the neighbor you don’t know very well. And if you don’t know whom to ask (because I’ve been there), then that is the first thing you can start praying about.

Fortunately for the innocent bystanders in my household, I’ve had enough mom burnout moments that I’ve learned how to recover quickly. Over that weekend I was able to take time to recharge and strategize about how to not be psycho wife. And for the most part, it worked.

Mom burnout happens, but I believe that when you recognize your limits and manage your stress response prayerfully, it doesn’t have to be the norm.

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Do you think you might be suffering from mom burnout? What are you going to do about it?

10 Bible Verses for the Stressed Out Mama

October 19, 2018 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

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Are you a stressed out mom looking for encouragement? While the Bible doesn’t talk about “stress” explicitly in the way we think of it, there is nonetheless quite a lot the Scriptures say about how to respond. I hope these verses help!

Rachel Lynette French

When my daughter was about 6 months old, I remember one day when I was carrying her on my hip. I had my phone balanced between my ear and my shoulder and was trying to sort laundry while I talked, while my 2- and 4-year-old boys were wreaking having who-knows-where in our admittedly cluttered house.

And then it happened.

My back didn’t exactly give out, but it started throbbing painfully near the shoulders. I thought perhaps I had pulled a muscle and was forced to rest.

I felt useless. I could hardly lift my infant daughter, nor could I carry out some of my daily responsibilities like cooking and cleaning. After a few days, I decided to get some help.

But after many months and appointments with a physician, chiropractors, physical therapists and massage therapists, it didn’t get much better.

It was frustrating to discover that this was a chronic problem. It seemed like it would never go away.

There were a few physical changes I made that helped, including getting serious about strength training and working on my flexibility. But it wasn’t until I started taking a look at my emotional state that things really started to get better.

I was stressed out. Constantly.

My hands were full in every sense of the word. In addition to my responsibilities as a mom of three young kids, I was taking on my than I could handle with work and volunteer opportunities. I was also lonely and grieving loss—my two closest friends and my sister moved away within a couple years of each other. And deep down, I was resenting my role in motherhood.

I thought that breaking down crying once a week or so was the norm. (It’s not.)

I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. And I think it broke them.

Unhealthy stress does weird things to our bodies. For me, it manifested in painful knots in my upper back. For others, it can reveal itself in panic attacks, rashes, insomnia, high blood pressure, cysts…In fact, if anything strange is happening to you, you might want to consider stress as a cause.

Now, 5 years later, I can say I rarely have my telltale back pain. I’ve learned a ton about managing stress biblically, and I’m passionate about sharing it.

I know that many of my readers love my Mama Verses scripture lists, so it made sense to put one together on stress.

While I completely believe in the power of the Word of God to transform our hearts, these verses for stressed out moms are just the beginning. If you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired from the stress in your life, I encourage you to sign up for my email list so you can check out my video series, Take a Deep Breath.

Click here to learn more!

On Understanding Stress

While the Bible doesn’t talk about “stress” explicitly, do you know what it does talk about? Suffering. Stress is our biological response to the things we care about that happen in our lives. In other words, stress is our natural response to suffering.

Keep that in mind with the following verses:

James 1:2–4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I think it’s important to consider that stress is not all bad. It helps us grow and mature through our trials. You’re not going to avoid it. So embrace it.

Romans 5:3–5

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

The same sentiment is here. (By the way, if you’ve seen any of my other Bible verse lists, you might notice there are some repeats here! They mean that much to me!)

On Surrendering What We Can’t Control

When I think about the things that cause stress, many of them are out of my control! No matter how much I put my worry and anxiety on repeat in my mind, there’s nothing I can actually do about them.

That’s why one of the critical healthy responses to stress is learning how to give to God what is God’s.

1 Peter 5:7

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.

Short, sweet and simple, right? Sort of…because this is easier said than done. When I think of the word “casting,” I think of my boys trying to cast their fishing lines. This is a skill that takes lots and lots of practice. But you’ll never get it if you don’t keep trying.

Matthew 6:25–27

‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?’

Many of us know these words of Jesus so well, and yet we need to be reminded again and again. Again, surrendering our worries and anxieties takes lifelong practice.

Philippians 4:4–7

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

There are a few more practical tools here that go hand in hand with casting our anxieties on the Lord: practicing gratitude. Rejoicing. Lots and lots of prayer. These are the disciplines that bring the peace that transcends understanding.

On Taking Action

Surrendering our fears and worries to God is one part of the equation, but we also have a responsibility to take action for the things we can control.

Deuteronomy 30:19–20

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

At the end of his life, Moses reminded God’s people that they had choices in life. Whatever happened, they could choose to love God, listen to him and follow his commands, or not.

Whatever our circumstances, we are presented with the same choice. Even under stress, we can choose to grow and to learn and walk the hard path that God’s way often is, or we can succumb to fear and victimhood.

What this looks like practically can vary quite a bit. Personally, in response to my own stressors, I’ve had to be more intentional about the way I spend my time. I’ve had to choose rest over productivity. I’ve had to reach out for help when I was lonely. God did his part, so I had to try to do mine.

1 Corinthians 10:5

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Sometimes my feelings of stress are a result of my own negative thoughts that aren’t true! With the Holy Spirit’s help, we have the ability to change the way we think. It’s a process we participate in actively, by identifying the thoughts that aren’t true and replacing them with the word of God.

On Seeing the Big Picture

Lastly, it helps me to remember that there’s typically more going on spiritually than I am aware of.

1 Peter 5:8–9

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

The apostle Peter reminds us not to be off guard. It’s so easy to forget in the midst of our stress that we have a lion-like enemy out there, who is trying to exploit our weaknesses. The call is to recognize him, and resist him.

John 16:33

‘In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’

Jesus said this to prepare his disciples for the suffering and stress they would have to endure. For me it’s a great reminder to step back and look at the big picture. In light of eternity and the power of the cross, we can take heart.

Ephesians 6:10–17

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

I’ll leave you with Paul’s appeal to hang in there and keep fighting, through it all. You’ve got this, because you have a great God who is fighting for you, my friend.

There’s so much more I have to say about dealing with stress in a biblical way! If this post stirs you, be sure to sign up for my email list so you can catch my popular video series, Take a Deep Breath.

Are you dealing with stress as a mom? Which of these Bible verses (or others) are the most helpful to you?

Looking for Things to Pray for? Try This List

October 12, 2018 by Gina Poirier 5 Comments

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Wondering what to say when you sit down to pray? Here are some of my best tips and things to pray for in any season, even when you’re a bit distracted or overwhelmed…

Do you ever feel like you’re missing something when it comes to prayer? I don’t know about you, but it seems like everybody seems to do it a lot more naturally than I do.

You probably relate if you sit down to pray and about five seconds later your mind wanders because:

1. Life is distracting.

You get up early, enjoying the peace of the morning. You intend to get out of bed and spend those precious quiet moments in prayer.

You start saying, “God…thank you for today.”

And then you start actually thinking about today. Your mind starts racing as you’re walking through the morning mentally.

You feel guilty: ”Sorry, God, uhhhh…”

But before you know it, the kids are up, and you’re on the move. God will have to wait…maybe until tomorrow.

2. You’re overwhelmed.

Your heart is heavy; you know you want to reach out to God. Maybe you have a quiet moment; maybe there is chaos surrounding you. Either way, you don’t even know what to say or how to start. Then distractions set in…you never really get back around to addressing that weight on your heart.

3. You don’t know what to say.

You’re in a prayer or Bible study group. You listen nervously as others offer up their prayers, but you’re not really paying that close of attention because you’re trying to figure out what in the world to say when it’s your turn. When it’s time to open your mouth, you freeze, or you say something that sounds sort of religious so you can pass the baton on to the next person.

Friend, you’re not alone. I’ve had so many women talk to me about how this is their story.

And to make matters worse, it’s really easy to feel guilty about it.

But here’s the truth: we all start somewhere, and we all have something to learn. We are spiritual beings so prayer is natural; yet it is not necessarily something we just know how to do.

If prayer is your struggle, don’t feel bad about it! I found it helpful to study some of Jesus’ fundamental teachings on the subject (he had quite a lot to say!), which I put together in a printable journal called Teach Me to Pray, which you can get below:

Beyond that, I’ve put together a list of prompts and things to pray forfor when your mind is simply drawing a blank. They’re divided into categories based on different types of prayer. I’ve included some scriptures for reference.

Things To Pray for (Even When You’re Distracted, Overwhelmed and Don’t Know What To Say)

Reflective Prayers

In English, when we think of the word “prayer,” we often associate it with presenting requests to God and asking him for help. While that’s not wrong (as we’ll explore below), it’s not the whole story. In Hebrew, the word for prayer, hitpallel, comes from a verb that means “to judge oneself.” Keep that in mind when you read through the Psalms! Prayer can be a time to reflect on your heart and talk about it with God.

Confession of your sins (1 John 1:9)
Asking for forgiveness (Matthew 6:12)
Asking for a pure heart (Psalm 51:10)
Your honest feelings about your circumstances (including anger, despair, hopelessness and more). For a helpful study, read Lamentations. You don’t have to be happy-go-lucky all the time to be close to God.

Prayers of Praise

Sometimes it does the heart good to simply praise God. You could spend the rest of your life just praying many of the Psalms (try it!). Whether you’re praying the Psalms or just coming up with your own praise, you can think about:

His love for you (Psalm 52:8)
His goodness (Psalm 145:7)
His holiness (Psalm 29:2)
What he’s done in your life and others’ (Psalm 9:1)
His Word (Psalm 119)
His creation (Psalm 19)

Prayers of Thanksgiving

Gratitude is scientifically proven to have multiple psychological benefits. No wonder the Bible tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18). You can be thankful about virtually anything, but here are some ideas:

Your relationships
The community you live in
Your work (Colossians 3:23)
Your freedom
Things that make you smile or laugh (Psalm 68:3)
Forgiveness (Romans 7:25)
Your trials (yes really—because they’re strengthening and refining you James 1:2–4)

Requests

I don’t know about you, but I’ve made some pretty silly prayer requests. But Jesus does say, “Just ask!” (see Matthew 7:7–12). It usually isn’t hard to come up with requests, but just in case you need some prompting:

Things you’re worried or anxious about (Matthew 6:25–34, Philippians 4:6)
Your basic needs (Matthew 6:11)
Your craziest dreams (Mark 11:23)
To increase your faith (Luke 17:5)
Wisdom (James 1:5)
Spiritual strength (Ephesians 6:10–17)

Prayers About the Kingdom of God

The Lord’s Prayer says “Your kingdom come, your will be done.” There are a lot of ways to pray about that! Consider praying about:

Your government and leaders (Romans 13:1–6)
Church leaders (Hebrews 13:7)
Worldwide and local missions (Ephesians 6:18–20)
Social injustice (racism, poverty, etc)
The impoverished and suffering
The persecuted
The church and/or ministries you are a part of

Prayers for People in Your Life

This might be the easiest thing to pray for, but sometimes it’s also easy to forget! I recommend making your own list, but here are some ideas to get your started:

Your spouse and your marriage relationship
Your kids (their faith, their trials, their education, their relationships…)
Your parents
Friends who are believers, near and far
Friends who are not believers
Coworkers
Neighbors
Siblings
Your local community

I feel like I need to get busy!

If you found these tips helpful, you might also like my printable prayer journal, Teach Me to Pray, which walks you through four weeks of biblical prayer prompts.