Recently, this headline about how overwhelmed modern families are popped up in my Facebook newsfeed. 

I couldn’t resist clicking because this topic is so familiar to me. The reporter interviewed families and researchers to get a snapshot of the typical middle-class American home: frantic schedules, more toys than people know what to do with, and a general attitude of “well that’s just the way it is.” 

I was sad to reach the end and see that there was no solution or hope offered; so many parents are simply feeling defeated.

I’ve been caught in that cycle myself.

Not too long ago, I was feeling overwhelmed as a mom of small children and just accepted that this was my lot in life. 

As they got older, the demands on my body, time and energy changed, but the stress level really didn’t. The clutter piled up throughout the house; our schedule got fuller with activities and demands. And I saw the direction we were headed as I watched some of my 

So I decided to make some changes. It started with cleaning out my closet, and it’s still in process as I grapple with the biblical concept of rest.

To be honest, I can’t say that I’m completely out of the woods when it comes to everyday overwhelm as a mom and I doubt I ever will be. But there’s a difference in mindset that has made a profound difference in the way I look at my life.

Rest is a choice.

Faithful Rest vs. Fake Rest

Rest is not a new concept, but it is unfamiliar to many of us in the way we live. Even our days off are not really “off;” they’re full of fake rest.

For moms especially, there’s no such thing as a lazy Sunday afternoon; we pack productivity into every margin of the day: folding laundry, wiping counters and catching up on phone calls. If we get that special moment to collapse into a nap, it’s out of sheer necessity and we feel guilty afterward.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Fake rest is the way of the world, friends. It is not the way of God.

What do you mean, Gina? I hear you say. The Christian life is one of self-sacrifice, is it not?

Yes, it is. And that’s why maybe we need to sacrifice the old way of thinking: that I will work myself to death for my family and community, and somehow be more righteous in the end.

God instituted rest from the beginning. In the creation account (Genesis 1), he rested. A weekly holy day of rest was one of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20). He commanded his people to even let the land rest every seven years (Exodus 23). He has built cycles of rest into nature: days, nights, seasons.

Why?

Perhaps when we choose rest, we acknowledge that we can’t do it all or be it all. If Jesus himself had no qualms about taking naps, sneaking off by himself, and shutting all but his inner circle out from time to time, why do we treat self-care like it’s some luxury or guilty pleasure?

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28–30).

Related: 10 Encouraging Bible Verses for the Overwhelmed Mama

Perhaps when we choose rest, we give God the opportunity to show us how he works.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with motherhood or just life, I want you to know that there’s hope, that you can break the cycle, that you can choose rest. 

It isn’t easy. In fact, choosing rest takes faith. But I can tell you from experience that the rewards are abundant and everlasting.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed as a mom, consider three ways you can intentionally choose rest: for your body, your mind and your soul.

Want to dig deeper? Be sure to check out my email series, StressLESS.

1. Choosing Rest for Your Body

Confession: I have been known on more than one occasion to wish out loud that I just didn’t have to sleep. Just imagine all that I could get done! (Especially if my kids had to sleep and I didn’t.)

But alas, the mind is willing; the body is weak.

Trust me, I’ve tried to push the limits. I had many a late night in college. I thought I was a champion then, but a few years later babies came, a period which redefined the meaning of “sleep deprivation.”

My body was literally pushed to its limits in every sense of the word during the baby years. And you know what my response was? Tearful joy and gratitude Frustration. I felt like my rights and ownership of my time and energy were completely stripped away.

Even then, I’d try to calculate the minimum amount of sleep I needed to still feel like a human (somewhere around seven hours, I guessed—not too bad, right?). I’d set my alarm as a good, disciplined mama should so I could get a good jump-start to my day, even though by the time afternoon hit I’d be reaching for my umpteenth cup of coffee to make it through.

The result was: I did “make it,” technically, with “just enough” rest. But it wouldn’t take much to tip me into a very cranky, self-centered fatigue. I also suffered from chronic back pain due to stress and inadequately rebuilding my muscle strength after three pregnancies in four years.

I share all these things with you to illustrate that for many years, I’ve had a problem when it comes to my body. And that problem is: I’m just not content with its natural limitations.

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Fatigue Is a Symptom: Listen to It

While some people do have complicated and chronic health problems that contribute to fatigue (hang on for a minute if that’s you), for many of us it’s the result of our choices.

If you’re always feeling overwhelmed, tired, cranky and weak, it might be time to take a little pause and do some self-reflection. You are not a victim of your circumstances, mama. No matter what stage of life you’re in, you are in charge of how you spend your limited time and energy.

A few years ago I got certified as a stress management coach. While my ultimate goal was to help others, I quickly learned that student #1 is me. And hands down, the biggest takeaway from my training was embarrassingly simple.

I needed to sleep more.

As I’ve already explained, I have been in the habit of pushing my body to its limits since pretty much forever. But here’s the problem with that. 

Each night, your brain goes through several cycles as you sleep, typically about 90 minutes in length, which get increasingly longer over the course of a night. During the first part of each cycle, the rest is primarily regenerative for your body. For the second part (also called REM or dream sleep), it is for your brain.

Up until recently, I denied myself my last cycle of sleep. In other words, my brain didn’t get that last bit of regenerative time it has needed to function at full capacity. The result:

• Crankiness/short patience
• Increased anxiety/worry
• Decreased mental sharpness/productivity
• Memory loss
• Frazzled mama/mommy brain
• Lack of energy/motivation
• You get the idea

And so I started making sleep a priority. Simple right? I now get 8–8 ½ hours most nights. And the difference is astounding. I can honestly say I don’t miss that extra hour in the day one bit because during my time awake I am so much more energized.

Strategies for More Sleep

I know, I know, you’ve got a million excuses for why you can’t make more time for sleep, or even if you do, you can’t fall asleep. I never said it was easy. But consider some of the following strategies and see if you can’t make some small changes:

• Increase the amount of time you sleep in small increments (in other words, don’t jump from five to eight hours a night because your body will not adjust well).
• Experiment to find how much sleep you actually need versus what you’ve been forcing on yourself. Try to sleep for as long as you can without an alarm (do the math; you’ll have to either get up later or get to bed earlier).
• Stop drinking caffeine after lunch.
• Turn off electronics at least 30 minutes before bedtime.
• Follow a calming nighttime ritual. This might include activities that trigger your brain into “shut-down mode” like dumping all of your thoughts onto a piece of paper so you can save your worries for tomorrow. Make a mental “turn off” point.
• Keep your bedroom cool, quiet, dark and tidy to make it more relaxing (if you have a night owl husband, I highly recommend earplugs and an eye mask!)
• Go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.
• If you have babies or other things that wake you up, try to compensate. Give yourself even more time to sleep in or go to bed earlier. Take short naps. Try to adjust your work schedule. Ask for help from your husband or support network so you can find the time you need to rest.
• Keep a sleep diary and track your patterns throughout the day so you can identify what might be causing sleep deprivation (I recommend this one).

Now, as I said in the last section, some people are suffering from more complex health conditions, whether mental, physical, or often both. If this is you, seek help from a medical professional. If they don’t have the answers, ask another one. Don’t stop searching for answers.

These are all simple strategies. The hardest part is deciding, or giving yourself permission, to follow them.

Related: 20 Simple Self-Care Ideas to Revitalize Your Body, Mind & Soul

2. Choosing Rest for Your Mind

On any given day, I have been known to misplace my keys, phone, wallet, purse, watch, glasses and a number of small accessories. I find myself spacing out during important conversations and making thoughtless decisions. And like many women in my station in life, I identify a single culprit.

Mommy brain: The phenomenon known to mothers where their brains become useless piles of goo after being around their children for too long (Urban Dictionary).

Funny as it is, there is actually scientific evidence that overstimulation, in combination with sleep deprivation, does, in fact, turn your brain into a useless pile of goo as far as intellectual capacity is concerned.

Related: 12 Signs of Mom Burnout, and What You Can Actually Do About It

Not only do we have the normal pressures of stress and sleep deprivation that just come with the role, but modern moms also have another factor working against them. What do you do when you have a moment of breathing room in the middle of your day? I’ll admit it: I reach for my phone.

But it’s like drinking salt water when I’m already dehydrated. While there’s nothing wrong with checking in with an app or a message, it does little to nothing to provide the recharge that my heart and mind desperately need. What’s more, it can actually hurt me.

Consider this:

• Excessive social media use interferes with clear thinking and decision-making and leads to lower self-control, impulsive buying and poor eating decisions.
• It’s also associated with higher BMI, binge eating, a lower credit score and credit card debt.
• “Milkshake multitasking” (specifically overstimulation from screens) prevents focused thought, which opens us to shallow judgments and decisions, along with passive mindlessness. (Source: Switch On Your Brain by Caroline Leaf)

Related post: Social Media Addiction: 20 Strategies To Break It

To sum it up, we have a lot of factors working against us. That’s why we need to be very mindful of how we combat mental overstimulation in our hectic lives.

How to Banish Mommy Brain

I’ll be clear: electronics or being around our kids 24/7 isn’t the heart of the problem.

The problem is not prioritizing rest for our hearts and minds (in addition to more sleep).

It’s called wakeful rest. You’re not asleep, but your mind is disengaged from stimulation. You might be surprised at just how refreshing it is to just give your mind permission to wander.

Amazing things can happen when you daydream. (Personally, this is why I enjoy a looooong shower). Your brain processes everything that is jostling around in there. You start solving problems and having original ideas. You can approach the next task without feeling completely taxed.

If you don’t have that space, your brain can’t process all that it’s taking in over a given day (or longer). Combine this with sleep deprivation, and you have a guaranteed recipe for chronic mommy brain.

Sidenote: you might want to retain a little control when your mind wanders. If you’re prone to depression and anxiety, I suggest learning practices for guiding your thoughts in positive and productive directions.

Related post: How I Manage Anxiety with 5 Calming Steps

Remember that leaving space for mental rest also gives you the opportunity to pray and surrender all of your thoughts to God. 

More Strategies for Mental Health

I know it’s hard to practice this kind of rest. I’m a work-at-home, homeschooling mom; quiet time for my overwhelmed mommy brain seems like an impossible dream on some days.

But here are a few suggestions for creating that much-needed space:

• Have set hours in your daily schedule when screens are off and phones are out of reach.
• Turn off your phone’s app notifications.
• When your mind is feeling taxed, give yourself permission to just stop what you’re doing and reflect or pray for a few minutes before continuing on with your task.
• Leave space in your daily schedule for breathing room. Don’t just jam as many tasks as possible into your limited free time. (Not sure where to fit it in? See The Ultimate Time Management Guide for Moms.)
• Ask for help when you feel like your head is going to explode. Have your husband or another friend or family member watch your kids for as little as ten minutes so you can get some time to think and reset.
• Find an enjoyable, restful activity outside of scrolling through your phone that you can do during downtimes, whether that’s listening to music, crocheting, gardening, cooking, etc.

For me, the biggest change I have made personally in this area is simply giving myself permission to stop and rest my busy mind. And because it’s a priority, I make sure that I have breathing room in my daily schedule.

A short but important note here: if you feel overwhelmed to the point of not being able to function—please don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional. 

3. Choosing Soul Rest

Not too long ago, I hadn’t been to Sunday worship in about a month.

That’s weird for me because, with perhaps the exception of when my children were born, I have been quite the dedicated attendee for all of my Christian life.

I had excuses: being out of town and sickness on consecutive weeks. And while I was otherwise doing well spiritually (I mean I hadn’t committed any crimes or anything), I nonetheless felt a little…off.

Excited to return to the fold after my absence, my heart sank when I realized I was on rotation to teach in children’s ministry during the service. I can listen to the sermons online, but to be perfectly honest, hanging with kids is not my favorite way to spend Sunday mornings, considering I am herding children all the livelong day every other day of the week.

I couldn’t get out of this commitment, but I knew that I desperately needed spiritual food. So I had to assess: how could I continue to give, without falling into the trap of Christian burnout?

Understanding Christian Burnout

Let’s just call a spade a spade, okay? Christian burnout happens when you give and give and give for the spiritual good of others but you’re bone dry yourself. I’ve been there. A lot.

What’s tricky about it is that it looks like you’re doing well. You’re serving in your church; you’re practically laying down your life for your family; you’re reaching outward and helping people. You could even be reading your Bible dutifully and be doing everything “right.”

But inside, you’re feeling so overwhelmed that you’re like a bomb waiting to go off. All it takes is for your child to speak in that whiny voice or your husband to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and you snap in a quite ugly, non-Christ-like way.

How do we navigate these tricky waters: doing the work we know we’re called to, without wearing ourselves down? For me, a key answer to this question, once again, is rest. Specifically, soul rest.

Tips for Soul Rest

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me (John 15:4, NIV).

The word Sabbath means a deep rest, a deep peace. It’s a near synonym for shalom—a state of wholeness and flourishing in every dimension of life. When Jesus says, ‘I am the Lord of the Sabbath,” Jesus means that he is the Sabbath. He is the source of the deep rest we need. He has come to completely change the way we rest. The one-day-a-week rest we take is just a taste of the deep divine rest we need, and Jesus is its source (Jesus the King by Timothy Keller, p. 44).

I like to make things complicated, but it’s really quite simple. Jesus. The beginning and the end. The source, the vine.

It’s hard to wrap my head around how this works, but I know if I am seeking Jesus, I’m pointed in the right direction. When I remain, or abide, with him, as he commands that we do in John 15, he works through me.

So what does this look like?

Unfortunately, I can’t provide a formulaic way to rest or a spiritual checklist that will answer that question. Resting in Christ is primarily about relationship, which is full of nuance. 

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But I can offer you some guidelines and principles that have helped me tremendously, and you can apply them to your own situation.

1. Keeping the Sabbath: this concept has been all but foreign to me until a couple of years ago. I liked the concept, but I just didn’t see how it would work practically. But then I thought I’d do a little experiment. The need to rest was practically screaming at me from the scriptures, so…why not try it? For a 24-hour period each week, I do not check email or social media. I don’t do major housework, errands or work. I have found this simple practice to be the most powerful in helping me feel refreshed and Christ-centered as I start my week. 
   
2. Connecting with Christ: speaking with being Christ-centered, it takes intention. Taking communion, prayer, worship and digging into my Bible is an essential piece of my Sunday, even when I’m “serving” in children’s ministry or elsewhere. Focusing my heart and soul on the cross is not something I strive to do just weekly, but continuously. When I create space in my life for this kind of connection, I am much more likely to pray deeply, to examine my heart and to surrender my anxieties.
   
3. Community: this one can be tough for me because I am indeed an introvert and, as I’ve indicated, I can burn out. But I need people, and they need me. Christ is in the church, and therefore to be connected to him, we must be connected with each other. True community for me goes well beyond saying hello in fellowship on Sunday. I have prayed with my friends and laughed and cried over coffee and lamented our weaknesses while marveling at the way God works. Without these kinds of connections, I’m disconnected from the vine.

As with every aspect of rest I’ve explored in this article, soul rest is a choice.

I fulfilled my commitment to serving the kids on that Sunday…but I didn’t suffer from Christian burnout. That’s because I deliberately started my Sabbath on Saturday night as I sat down for dinner with my husband. I opened my morning in prayer and took communion thankfully before teaching the kids. I enjoyed my time with then and then enjoyed lunch with my family and a friend. 

And then I relaxed…entrusting God with my never-ending to-do list, abiding in him, and enjoying a piece of his creation (which on this particular day was a good book).

By the time Sunday evening rolled around, I was ready to take my week by the horns and give it my heart.

Want to Learn More About Facing Overwhelm…with Rest?

If you’re intrigued by the strategies I’ve presented in this article and want to dig deeper, I invite you to enroll in Choose Rest. This eCourse will help you learn how to take care of yourself physically, mentally and spiritually…so you can finally give more to your family without feeling overwhelmed and burned out.

Not ready for a full course? Be to check out my free email series on stress management, StressLESS, so you can face overwhelm and stress the godly way.

Leave a comment: are you feeling overwhelmed with life and motherhood? What’s one small step way you can choose rest and feel a little better today?

Hey mamas! Are you feeling run-down, burned out, and like you need to seriously prioritize your self-care routine? I’ve got tons of tips in this article, but if you want to put it into practice, be sure to sign up for my FREE self-care toolkit by clicking below, which includes a self-care checklist and more.

I used to think self-care was for sissies. 

When a friend in college told me she got nine hours of sleep every night, I scoffed. Any self-respecting person, especially someone claiming to be a Christian, wouldn’t indulge in such luxuries. We’ve got limited hours in a day, so let’s fill them to the brim right?

Even if you’re not as driven as I am, many of us hit a sort of wall when we hit motherhood. All of a sudden, these merciless little humans who really don’t care about your needs suck up whatever time and energy you may have had.

While it’s tempting to wear burnout and exhaustion like badges of honor, the unfortunate thing is that being burned out and exhausted doesn’t really make us the best moms. Or wives. Or people in general.

Yet you’re a daughter of God, my friend. It might feel selfish to take time to care for yourself, but I don’t think that “exhausted mess” or “doormat” was Jesus had in mind for you when he referred to “life to the full” (John 10:10).

Plus, think about what kind of person you want to be for your own children: well-rested, content and overflowing with joy so that you can give them your best.

I’ve done a lot of research on self-care. A lot of people get mixed up and define it as doing things that they like, like getting their nails done or going out with their friends. While there’s nothing wrong with those things, that understanding is not entirely accurate.

I like to differentiate between self-care and escape. True self-care—or biblical rest, as I like to define it—recharges you physically, mentally and spiritually. It is best when intentionally practiced daily, weekly and seasonally.

Related: 3 Ways Overwhelmed Moms Can Truly Rest

Daily Self-Care Routine Ideas

Habits are powerful. Much of what we do every day is on autopilot, meaning we don’t think about it. Once you’ve built a habit, it will be natural to practice it as part of your daily routine.

So if you want a daily self-care routine that works, it only makes sense to develop habits that will follow automatically.

I’m going to list some daily self-care habit ideas that can potentially transform the way you feel. One caveat before I continue, however. 

Please don’t look at this list and then proceed to feel all mopey about all the things you’re doing wrong, or overwhelmed at the thought of what you’re missing. Rather, look at this list as target to shoot for, as well as a gauge to measure where you’re at.

You’re not going to hit the target every day (I don’t!). But if your life feels out of balance, here are some adjustments you can start working on. (Be sure to download the checklist if you want to take a full assessment!)

1. Get 8+ Hours of Sleep

To most moms I know, this sounds like a lofty goal. And for some of us, especially those with little babies, it really is impossible.

However, I think the point here is to prioritize this need as much as you can. When you miss sleep, your cognitive ability suffers, which pretty affects every area of your life from emotional control to your ability to focus.

2. Exercise Daily

Again, this might be a lofty goal, and you probably know you need to do it. But I can’t emphasize enough how much it not only helps you maintain a healthy weight but also improves your mood and energy levels substantially.

Remember, doing something is better than doing nothing. The benefits of just a few minutes of walking or stretching are enormous. So if you don’t make it to the gym one day, don’t give it up as a lost cause.

Related post: My Home Workout Routine: How Fitness Blender Gets My Mommy Butt in Shape

3. Track Your Water Intake

Did you know that being fatigued is a sign that you’re dehydrated? Your body has to work harder to pump blood and perform essential functions, which makes it try to conserve more of its energy. This is an easy one to fix! Get at least ½ an ounce per pound of body weight per day.

4. Eat Sit-Down Meals

I’m bad at this one sometimes. It’s so tempting to eat while standing in the kitchen multitasking or while on the go.

Sitting down and enjoying a meal helps you be more mindful about your eating habits and encourages your body to slow down and digest your food properly. Try to eat at least one meal a day together as a family is also a great time to connect emotionally.

5. Turn off Your Screens

We are constantly being bombarded with information and visual stimulation because of screens, and research indicates that this is detrimental to mental health.

Be disciplined about the time you spend on your phone. Take time throughout the day to “unplug” so your mind can be at rest, think deeply and process the information it’s taking in. You should especially avoid screens before bed.

Related post: Social Media Addiction: 20 Strategies To Break It

6. Journal, Read or Create

Fill the time you have during screens off with something you love! Taking time to learn or create something stimulates your brain in a good way, helps you mature and releases endorphins. While long periods are ideal for deeper concentration, even just a few minutes a day is better than none.

7. Connect with Your Spouse

If you’re married, one of the best things you can do for your family is to prioritize your marriage. Give your husband your full attention and affection at least once a day.

Related post: Fighting for Your Marriage: 3 Tips for Busy and Exhausted Couples

8. Connect with God

Personal connection with God each day is spiritual food (Matthew 4:4). You wouldn’t willfully skip a whole day of food, so why would you skip time with God? Make time for what you need. There are a lot of ways to approach this, so find the one that works for you.

Related post: Quiet Time Bucket List: 20+ Ways to Build Intimacy with God

9. Express Gratitude

Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the most effective ways to change your mood as well as your outlook on life. Something about the physical act of writing it down helps your brain process it more effectively—I believe for the benefit of your spirit.

10. Laugh

This is something kids do naturally and yet adults can quickly forget. I believe that pure humor (not mean-spirited or mocking), is one of God’s greatest gifts and truly does restore the soul. It reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously.

11. Practice Deep Breathing

I like to practice deep breathing while in prayer, which helps my mind and my spirit focus on God. Being in practice helps me to remain calm when under stress during other parts of my day.

Weekly Self-Care Routine Ideas

My weekly self-care routine is different than my daily one because it digs deeper. If daily practices are like a shoulder rub, weekly practices are more like a deep tissue massage (sounds nice, huh?).

I’ve developed these weekly habits not just because I think they sound nice. Out of all of my self-care practices, they have the most direct correlation with what I find in the Bible.

Since the Creation account in Genesis 1, we see a weekly pattern of work and rest repeated over and over. God initiated it when he rested on the seventh day and enjoyed his work. He commanded his people to do the same in the Ten Commandments and elsewhere. It’s called Sabbath, an intentional rest.

While I don’t think we’ll be punished today if we don’t follow the Sabbath the way the Israelites were commanded to (Romans 6:14), I’m of the personal belief that there is much benefit to this weekly rhythm of rest.

Weekly rituals don’t have to be extravagant, but they aren’t necessarily easy either. What makes them challenging is not the practices themselves, but rather, prioritizing them. They take intention.

I have to guard my routine fiercely. These are ways I not only feel refreshed myself, but also feel more connected with the people I love. (If you need help keeping your priorities straight too, don’t forget to sign up for the self-care toolkit.)

1. 24-Hour Period of Rest

Whatever happened to weekends? I don’t know about you, but a mixture of household chores, kids’ activities, parties and church events compete for a spot on my calendar. Not to mention everything still on my to-do list from the previous week.

A couple of years ago I decided that instead of trying to squeeze my rest in here and there, wherever it would fit, I would personally experiment with the Sabbath model I find in the Bible. I devote a 24-hour period each week to rest.

My rules are specifically for me. I don’t check my email or social media accounts during that period, to give my busy mind a break. I do minimal housework (which requires prep in advance!). I don’t do any business-related writing. While our family will occasionally entertain guests, we try to stay low-key.

I have to admit, it isn’t always easy to protect that time. I’ve slipped and “cheated” on my own rules, and sometimes I’ve given in to some of the demands on my schedule. But overall I have felt like this practice has helped me feel refreshed more than any other. 

I share more in this video:

2. Communion/Worship

Starting the week with worship, the Lord’s Supper and fellowship is the model we see the early believers following in the Book of Acts. Interestingly, many of them were Jewish Christians, and it is very likely that they did this in addition to their traditional Saturday Sabbath.

Regardless of when exactly you come together for worship, the point is that you do it. When I’m unable to attend church because I’m out of town or sick, I’ll still do some sort of reflective devotional with my family.

3. Family Time

I’ve also found it important to have other rituals for our family throughout our week that are restful anchors in our schedule. One of these is what we call “family night.” It’s a holdover tradition from my husband’s childhood.

Related post: 8 Core Habits to Build a Closer, Stronger Family

Every Monday night, the Poirier family is unavailable to do anything but spend time with one another. Following dinner together we do something relaxing as a family unit. Usually that’s a movie, popcorn and some chocolate chip cookies. If the weather is warm, we might get a little more adventurous. It’s one of the highlights of our week and helps keep us close.

4. One-on-One Time

Every week my husband and I will each try to get alone time with one of the kids, on a rotation. He’ll come home from work and take one of the kids out to lunch. My time often involves getting cupcakes, sometimes a board game, and some good talks.

With three kids in the house, it can be tough to have meaningful conversations with each one. This ritual, which we call “special day,” gives us the opportunity to connect with our kids and help them feel loved as individuals—and help us feel love and connection in return! I find that if I’m really taking the effort to be present with each child one-on-one, I’m a lot less likely to give in to my temper and frustration at other times.

Related: 6 Important Things to Remember When You’re Angry and Frustrated with Your Kids

5. Marriage Time/Date

As I mentioned above, my husband and I try to connect every day. But as much as possible we also try to have a weekly date. We have extended family that lives in town, so it does make it easier for us with free babysitting. But you can still connect over something as simple as putting the kids to bed early and having dinner and a movie alone or playing a board game.

Making the marriage a priority when life is exhausting is, I believe, one of the most important things you can do for your family, and yourself. It helps you and your spouse be unified, better parents—and a lot happier.

Related post: How to Fight for Your Marriage When You’re Busy and Exhausted

6. Spend Time in Nature

While it would be ideal if we could all get out and enjoy the sunshine every day, for much of the year that’s not a realistic possibility. So that’s why I make this a weekly goal (much more in nice weather!).

Fresh air and ample sunlight (or stars and moonlight) boost your mood and your health, not to mention naturally draw you closer to your Creator (Psalm 19:1).

It’s tough when the weather is bad or you’re not feeling well. If you can’t get out for a walk, at the very least spend more time simply exposing yourself to daylight (and this is probably more of a daily ritual rather than weekly).

7. Connect with a Friend

I’ve written about my struggles with loneliness, especially when my kids were little and their needs as preschoolers were extremely demanding on my energy and mental health. I’ve worked hard to build deep friendships in my life because I desperately need them.

One of the most effective ways I’ve connected with other women and deepened my relationships is getting together once a week with one or two friends. It’s preferable to do it without kids because we’ll have more time to talk, but it’s possible to do with kids if that’s the only way to make it happen.

This practice has generated laughter, tears and overall soul-healing again and again. If you don’t have friends like these in your life, my advice is to pray, initiate, pray and initiate. It’s worth it!

Those are the seven anchors I have in my weekly self-care routine. There are several blank spaces on my printable self-care checklist, because everyone fills up a little differently. Feel free to customize it with your favorite rituals that refresh your body, mind and soul.

Other Periodic Self-Care Ideas

Being intentional about daily and weekly self-care goes a long way. But occasionally it’s necessary to take even more time.

There are natural periods of rest built into the rhythms of the world around us, like the change of seasons and cultural celebrations. Take advantage of these times to practice rest thoughtfully.

1. Take a Personal Retreat

I’ve started taking time quarterly to have a day to myself (typically on a day of rest I have already set aside). I take as many hours I can alone, so that I can pray, reflect, focus and assess my goals and priorities.

I also like to take a couple of hours at the end of each month to do a mini-reflection. It’s not as long, but it helps me stay focused as I plan my time.

2. Make Your Seasons of Celebrations Restful

Too often when we think of holidays or vacations, they are anything but restful. To prevent the burnout associated with times that should be refreshing, be sure to plan ahead of time what you want those seasons to look like. I offer some ideas in Want a More Restful Christmas Season? Here’s What to Do.

I hope these ideas have inspired you to be more intentional about building rest into your life. Remember, this is not a list of “shoulds” to make you feel guilty, but rather a tool to help you make whatever improvements you will find helpful.

If you want to dig deeper into the why and how of biblical self-care, be sure to check out my eCourse, Choose Rest, as well as my self-care toolkit for Christian moms.

Leave a comment: based on this list, how do you want to revitalize your self-care routine?