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Want a More Restful Christmas Season? Here’s What to Do

November 23, 2020 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

It’s the holiday season! Which means lots of fun, celebration, aaaand…

..for many of us, a good healthy dose of stress and burnout.

These are often accompanied by lovely side effects including binge eating of Christmas cookies, temper tantrums, family squabbles and a hefty credit card bill.

If this is you—and you’re in good company if it is, my friend—I have good news and bad news. Bad news first: holiday stress is unavoidable. (Unless you just choose not to participate, which in my opinion would be sad.)

Now the good news: there are some things within your control that can help you experience a much more restful Christmas season, even with the added stress.

10 tips for experiencing more rest and lest stress this Christmas

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Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information.

10 Tips for a More Restful Christmas

One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn as a mom, wife and homemaker is that I am in charge of my daily decisions. God is ultimately in control of what happens to me, but I choose how to respond. So if my schedule is too busy and everyone is cranky and we miss the “meaning of Christmas,” I can’t just blame the season or society for making our lives difficult.

I lecture myself periodically about this because it’s all too easy to just throw my hands up and succumb to the madness…

You don’t have to succumb to the madness either. If you want a more restful, meaningful, peaceful Christmas with your family, I have a few practical ways you can prepare yourself for the season.

1. Anchor Yourself in Christ

It’s catchy to say that “Jesus is the reason for the season;” yet around December, he kinda gets kicked to the curb. And I’m not talking about the debate about whether you should say “Merry Christmas” versus “Happy Holidays;” I’m talking about personally being in his presence on a daily basis.

There are a lot of ways to practice a dynamic relationship with Christ (see more ideas on how to read the Bible, how to pray and my quiet time bucket list). One practice to consider at this time of year is observing Advent.

Advent is part of the liturgical calendar (a fancy word for worship calendar) that some churches follow. It comes from the Latin word adventus, which means “coming.” During the season of Advent, you reflect on the coming of Christ.

In nature, winter is a time of year that is slow and quiet. It begs us to stop. Listen. Reflect. Meditate. Rest. (Quite the opposite of the holiday hustle and bustle!) This is the spirit of Advent, as you anticipate God’s greatest gift and prepare to celebrate Jesus’s arrival.

Whether or not your church follows a liturgical calendar, you can still take this time to reflect on and pray about the meaning of Advent in your daily times with God. I tend to gravitate towards reading the beginning of Matthew and Luke during this time of year, as well as messianic prophecies.

Advent devotionals are also pretty easy to come by. I love Arabah Joy’s prayer journals, so I recommend Praying the Names of Jesus: An Advent Prayer Journal.

Praying the Names of Jesus 30 Day Advent Journal Arabah Joy

Learn More

By the way, anchoring yourself in Christ should be something we practice year-round! I’ve rounded up my favorite scriptures for moms in every season; access them here.

2. Anchor Your Family in Christ

My daughter recently asked for an Advent calendar. Not because she was wanting to participate in Advent, but because she’d seen an ad for a cool calendar with a surprise you can open every day as you count down to The Biggest Toy Day.

Sigh. Turns out I’m not the only one who needs a heart check around the holidays.

I really enjoy participating in the magic feeling of Christmastime with little ones, including the gift part, but kids’ hearts are naturally going to be pulled towards all the cool things they’re going to get under the tree.

It takes some intention on our part as parents to keep our family focused on why we celebrate.

I did ultimately get an “Advent calendar” with a little gift to open each day. But instead of a toy, it’s an ornament they get to open, which has a corresponding family devotional we get to read each day.

By December 25, we’ll get to put a star on the tree and will have discovered The Wonder of the Greatest Gift.

And the kids are pretty excited about it! It turns out they just like to open things.

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This is otherwise known as a “Jesse tree,” a decorative tree used during Advent to retell the stories of the Bible that lead to Jesus’s birth. Jesse was King David’s father and an ancestor of Jesus (hence why Jesus is called the “Branch of Jesse” in the Bible). I was surprised to learn that this tradition goes back to the Middle Ages! So while it has gained popularity in recent years, it’s certainly no passing fad.

I love it.

There are other ways we can keep our family focused on Christ during the Christmas season like listening to worshipful Christmas music and reading the story of the nativity. We also try to get the focus off ourselves and on others, such as volunteering and donating to gift drives to the less fortunate.

I know it can feel overwhelming to think of worshipful traditions as more things to mark of on your long Christmas “to-do” list. But it helps to remember that:

Worshiping God is the heart of the holiday.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, it shouldn’t be.

3. Identify Your Priorities

For the first few Christmases I shared with my husband, I wasn’t really sure what I even wanted it to look like and worried whether we were doing it the way we “should.” It got more complicated when we added kids to the equation. How should we approach Santa, stockings, outings, crafts, food, travel…and on and on?

The truth is, for a restful Christmas, you can’t do all the things. You can’t see all the people, send all the cards, have the perfect house and make all the food. You can’t spend all the money either.

But you can choose what’s most important.

I believe in the power of writing things down. There’s something about writing on paper that makes you commit a bit more to your intentions. To be intentional about a more restful Christmas, I recommend writing down your vision for it early (I’m talking like October or early November).

I wrote the following statement in my planner this year:

This holiday season, my priorities are:

Growing in and celebrating Christ
Loving others (community, family and friends)
Laughter
Coziness
Great food

Now, as I plan out my schedule and budget, I read that statement. If what I’m planning doesn’t contribute to that vision, then it’s not going to make it on the calendar.

I encourage you to write out a similar statement with 4–5 things that you can focus on. Put it somewhere visible so that you can remember those priorities when life starts to get a little too busy.

4. Pick Your Favorite Traditions

Danger: when you look at your priorities, it can be tempting to want to do multiple things that contribute to the best Christmas ever.

But you don’t have to visit every relative, volunteer at 50 events and make 50 types of Christmas cookies. If you can do one thing loving for your community, one thing that creates coziness, one thing that celebrates Christ, and so on, you can be content with that. In fact, you might find that simplicity is the most effective approach.

There will be some years when you won’t be able to do as much (hello, 2020!). Maybe you’re in the middle of a move or have a newborn. Perhaps you’re having health issues or it was just a busy year and you’re just exhausted.

It’s okay. Take a deep breath.

Write down some of your favorite family traditions (or the ones you want to start). Do they match your priorities, in a balanced way?

Next, write down one tradition under each priority that you can realistically accomplish this year.

The ones that didn’t make the cut? Write those down as “maybes.” Play it by ear, and if you feel like they would contribute to your priorities, then add them in.

If you don’t get to do everything you hoped you would, could you perhaps do it next year? There are some things that our family does some years but not every year. And I like it that way.

5. Plan Your Calendar

A wise person once said, “You run your schedule. It doesn’t run you.”

If you’ve already set your priorities and identified the most important traditions that you want to keep this year, then this part should be a piece of cake. (Or fudge. Or sugar cookies.)

I’m a big fan of time blocking, which is exactly what it sounds like: breaking your time into blocks and planning tasks accordingly. At the beginning of the week, I look at my Google calendar and take note of my appointments. Then I look at my priorities for the week and plan out when I can fit them in.

You can see my process in more detail: The Ultimate Time Management Guide for Moms.

When you do this, you’re in control of what goes on the calendar…and what stays off.

I also recommend spacing out must-do holiday tasks like shopping, decorating, volunteering, baking, gift wrapping, party planning and so on. If you squeeze it into one weekend, you will die. Or are least get really, really cranky.

So while it’s not terrible to wait until the last minute, you’re going to thank yourself later if you can not be frantically wrapping all the gifts well into the late hours on Christmas Eve. (Not like I’d know anything about that, cough cough.)

Lastly, leave margin in your schedule. Every. Day. Because life happens in the form of bad weather, traffic, misunderstandings, emotions, messes and illnesses. This is just good advice in general, but during the holidays it’s even more vital! Plus, it gives you the opportunity to act spontaneously from time to time, which I’d argue is vital for your soul.

6. Plan Your Budget

Okay, so honestly, money is one of the areas that can cause the most stress around Christmas. I’ve worked on budgeting for holidays in the past…but following those budgets hasn’t gone so well.

I think I just haven’t been realistic about the kind of Christmas we want to have and the amount of money that kind of Christmas costs.

If your budget isn’t working, you either have to change your expectations so that you can spend less or, if possible, put more money aside so that those expectations can be met.

In the past, I’ve found that I simply forget how much stuff costs. When you budget for the holidays, remember to include, when applicable:

Gifts for family (plan out for individuals!)
Gifts for community (school, work, etc.)
Charitable giving
Family outings
Extra or more expensive groceries
Dining out
Holiday apparel
Decorations
Less income if you don’t get holiday pay
Travel expenses
Childcare during parties or winter break
Postage and printing for Christmas cards

When you write it all out like this, it’s obvious why it is so easy to go over budget!

Ideally, you should be planning for the holidays months ahead of time; otherwise, you’ll be caught on your heels come December. But even if you’re late in the game, just being aware of all the hidden expenses can help you not go overboard.

Jessi Fearon has some great info on this: Holiday Budget Planning.

7. Communicate with Your Family

So all this planning I’m talking about for a restful Christmas…let me back up a bit. Chances are, you’re not the only one with needs and opinions in your household.

As I said above, my husband and I had different experiences growing up, and thus, we have different expectations about Christmas. If we’re not communicating about what those expectations are, we’re on track to get into a fight.

And yes, we’ve had a few Christmas-related arguments over the years.

I’m the one in the marriage who’s more inclined to detailed planning, so I just have to be sure to talk to him about what I’m thinking. We have regular conversations during the holiday season where we discuss things like:

Priorities this year
Budget
Shopping lists
Family calendar
Extended family expectations
Parties and other commitments
Food
Decorations

We try to make time every night to connect and talk if we need to. Each week we go over the schedule. I also try to make a point around mid-November to talk about our priorities and plans before the chaos begins.

My friend Elizabeth wrote some hilarious and wise thoughts on this: Have Yourself a Merry Married Christmas.

As the kids get older, they tend to have their own expectations as well. Talk about it around the table!

Lastly, communicate with your extended family and friends, once you’re clear about your expectations within your household.

8. Keep Your Blinders On

I think I may need to limit my time on Instagram during the holiday season. I see beautiful, simplistic living room arrangements with gorgeous trees cut by hand in the mountains, with matching embossed stockings over a warm fireplace.

We have a tree. Right next to the Barbie house and the play kitchen, because the family room also happens to be the playroom. I think I bought the stockings on clearance and wrote the kids’ names in Sharpie on the inside so we could tell them apart. Maybe we have firewood somewhere in the garage? I’m pretty sure it has been over a year since we used the fireplace for you know…burning logs.

I am more than two decades out of junior high, yet I still fall into the comparison trap.

Some other family is probably going to decorate better, cook better, give better gifts, be more spiritual and have more fun than your family. So what?

If your family is anchored in Christ, focusing on your priorities and traditions, and you’re communicating well, it shouldn’t matter what other people are doing.

9. Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries

As hard as you try, sometimes the source of stress at Christmastime isn’t your lack of planning or intention. It’s the other people: family, co-workers, neighbors and friends.

The first step minimizing your agony about everyone else is to remember that you are not responsible for their thoughts, feelings and general attitudes. You can take ownership of yourself and, to some extent, your family.

Recognizing your separateness and taking ownership for what you rightly should is called setting boundaries.

You won’t make everyone happy.

You can’t do everything.

You are allowed to say no.

What’s more, you can be kind and compassionate about communicating these limits.

There’s a lot I could say about this, as boundaries have been some of the most powerful tools I’ve discovered as an adult. If you’re not familiar with boundaries, then I highly recommend putting Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend on your Christmas list!

10. Choose Rest

Hopefully it’s clear by now that you may have more control than you think over how the holiday season goes. Will there be unexpected surprises, busyness and drama? Most likely. But will you be at peace about it? That’s up to you.

Rest is a choice. When I leave more space in my heart and in my schedule and stop trying to respond to all the “shoulds” in my life, I’ve seen God work in the best ways.

Don’t forget, rest is also about caring for yourself. Just because it’s busy doesn’t give you license to sacrifice sleep and sanity.

If you want to learn more about this, be sure to check out my Take a Deep Breath Toolkit.

I hope you feel refreshed knowing that you can have a restful Christmas, my friend! Which of these tips can you put into practice this year?

11 Bible Verses to Banish Mommy Guilt

October 20, 2020 by Gina Poirier 2 Comments

Do you wrestle with mommy guilt—that nagging feeling that you’re not doing enough or that you’re screwing up? Then you’re in the right place! Be sure to grab the printable download of these Bible verses in my free resource collection.

Bible Verses Mommy Guilt | Mom Encouragement | Christian Motherhood

Meireles Neto

I screwed up again. My son’s eyes spilled over in tears and he turned away, a little embarrassed. “We just did what you wanted to do, not what I wanted,” he confessed. “It wasn’t fun.”

Mixed feelings of guilt, shame and anger heated my face. I had taken him to the mall on a special outing with just the two of us to get him some new shoes and a special snack. It didn’t turn out as planned because or local mall is shutting down stores like crazy. The shoe choices and the snack options were very limited.

I was hurt that he wasn’t more thankful, yet at the same time I felt horrible that I had let him down. My efforts weren’t enough.

Mommy guilt.

It’s this condition I’ve battled with ever since I heard his first cry. This impossible question lingers constantly: Am I doing enough?

I know I’m not the only one with this issue, so I asked members of our Facebook group what made them feel guilty. The answers weren’t surprising, things like:

Not spending enough time with the kids
Not meeting their emotional needs
Taking time away from them for self-care
Not playing enough with them or doing what other moms do
Not feeding them enough healthy food

Do you see a pattern here?

Not enough.

Banish Mommy Guilt with Scriptural Truth

“Not enough” is a pretty sneaky little lie that we mamas give undeserved brain space.

It’s sneaky because in one sense, it holds just a kernel of truth: we fall short of perfection. So in that sense, no we’re not “enough” and never will be. But on the other hand, because Christ does immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine, we are more than enough through all of our weaknesses.

So the next time you are wallowing in guilt, whether you legitimately screwed up or are worried that you did, meditate on these truths and put their teachings into practice.

On Confession

I’ll be honest: I did not plan on having this section when I started thinking about this topic! But the more I dug into the word “guilt” in the Bible, it was apparent that the first step to healing is confession.

So be honest with yourself, with God and with other believers about those things that are weighing on your heart.

James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Proverbs 28:13

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,
but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

On Being Enough

That feeling of “not enough”? It’s a lie because Christ is more than enough. His love for you and intervention on your behalf give you a brand new start each and every time you feel “less than,” with your parenting and so much more.

Colossians 2:13–14

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.

1 John 2:1b

But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.

Romans 5:1

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ…

Hebrews 9:14

How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!

On Moving Forward

I think this is the hardest part for my guilty conscience to accept. I know that I am forgiven and cleansed through Christ, but the truth is I still fall ridiculously short when it comes to loving my kids.

These verses help me remember to live in faith instead of fear, anxiety and guilt. God’s grace is sufficient; he fills in the gaps where I fall short. And because of this, my heart can be at peace.

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Hebrews 10:22

[L]et us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

Philippians 4:6–7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Want to keep these Bible verses handy? You can access them and other Bible verses for moms! Just click below:

Your turn: how do you wrestle with mommy guilt and what are your favorite scriptures to combat it?

Are PowerSheets Worth It for Planning Goals? An Honest Review

October 14, 2020 by Gina Poirier 4 Comments

It’s no secret around here that I’m a big fan of setting goals.

It’s a concept that many people often associate with their jobs. My husband shares with me the business goals he sets for work each year.

But what about for your personal life? Is it worth it to set goals for just…yourself? And your family?

And furthermore, how does one go about that, exactly?

I’ve been setting personal goals for myself for several years now, and I’ve tried quite a few tools. One of the most unique ones is a workbook called PowerSheets.

Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information.

What Are PowerSheets?

PowerSheets are a collection of goal-setting pages in a beautiful workbook. I like to think of them as having a paper life coach. They help you think through your priorities, get a vision and make goals, and then work towards them in practical steps.

Here’s how the Cultivate What Matters shop describes its popular product:

Thousands of women all over the world have made their goals happen with PowerSheets. Created by Lara Casey, best-selling author of Make It Happen and Cultivate: A Grace-Filled Guide to Growing an Intentional Life.

A proven process that works.
12 months of intentional goal-setting worksheets to help you make your goals a reality.
The signature PowerSheets Prep™️ process to uncover the right goals for your season of life.
Trusted goal coaching on every page so you stay motivated and on track.
Exclusive seasonal worksheets to refresh and refocus your goals each season.

Sounds pretty cool, right?

I thought so. So I jumped on the Cultivate wagon in 2018 and dug in. I liked PowerSheets so much that I’ve used them every year since (yes, especially in this crazy year of 2020).

Getting Started: Brain Dumping and Life Assessment

If you do not know where you come from, then you don’t know where you are, and if you don’t know where you are, then you don’t know where you’re going… – Terry Pratchett

If you’ve ever tried setting goals before, one easy way to get stuck right from the start is having no clue what direction you want your life to go.

So the first step is assessing where you’ve been.

The first several pages in the PowerSheets workbook are life assessment pages. They consist of open-ended questions about your personality, your hopes and dreams, how well the past year went and some ideas for what you want to do in the coming year.

There’s also a lot of open space to get messy, which I always appreciate.

This is one of my favorite parts of the workbook because you have permission to get to know yourself a little better. Why do you think those online personality quizzes are so much fun? I think it’s because we like to understand the way we think and act so that we can make the best use of our preferences and talents.

By knowing your strengths, weaknesses, who you are, how you’re motivated and where you’ve been, the future becomes a lot clearer.

The next step is to prioritize what’s most important. You start out by thinking about what you want your life to be like when you get to the end. What’s going to matter most then?

With that in mind, you work your backward. What can you focus on in the coming year that can push you towards that long-term vision?

My only critique is that this timeframe feels like a bit of a stretch. I hope I’ve got a few decades in between now and then!

I personally like to add intermediate steps, such as where I want to be in 5 years, as well as major milestones like when my kids graduate high school. But the PowerSheets workbook provides the space and flexibility to do that.

Choosing a Word of the Year

I’ve heard of people that use a “word of the year,” and honestly I’ve always thought it was a bit hokey. I mean seriously, summarizing an entire year of your life under one banner word or phrase? How is that practical?

But, since I was so impressed with the process already, I decided to run with it.

Based on the personal assessment pages, the word I landed on in 2018 was connection. I felt like it applied to the areas of my life where I was lacking.

Surprisingly, I found it extremely helpful. Not because the word in itself was so amazing, but because with all of the other tools in PowerSheets, I was able to stay rooted in it.

I posted this word in my kitchen where I keep all of my household paperwork. While I didn’t think about it constantly, it was a good visual reminder about my priorities. It was also useful whenever I revisited my PowerSheets on a monthly and quarterly basis.

What surprised me most was how much God led me to grow in connection throughout the year, in ways I didn’t expect or plan. I became more comfortable in getting vulnerable, crying without shame and giving my heart in scary ways.

In the years that have followed, I never regretted choosing a word. While I don’t think about it constantly, it does help me stop, reflect and focus on what matters to me.

My words for the past several years have been:

connection (2018)
rhythm (2019)
freedom (2020)

Getting Intentional with Goal-Setting

After clearing up where you’ve been, where you are and where you want to go in a general sense, the PowerSheets workbook walks you through the nitty-gritty of goal-setting.

To start, you write out several specific goals you want to work on in the coming year. Then you break them down into smaller steps.

I used to do ten goals, and it felt really overwhelming to me. I can’t focus on that many big things at once. In the 2021 edition, it encourages you to do eight MAXIMUM (and you can always adjust later).

Whatever the number of goals you set, the targeting questions in Powersheets help you focus on the most important ones first, based on your current priorities, and then work on others later.

Looking book at the goals I set at the beginning of 2018, I was a little surprised that I only met two of them completely. That hurt my perfectionist heart a little bit.

But that didn’t mean I didn’t accomplish anything! I ended up dropping one of my goals completely, as it didn’t make sense anymore. As for the rest, I made progress significant progress on every one. Furthermore, as the year went on, I got better at defining my goals in a way that was realistic and relevant.

Each quarter in PowerSheets, you either recommit to your original goals or change them. As life shifts, so does your focus.

Overall, what really impressed me was that the process helped me appreciate the journey more than the destination. This phrase has helped me a lot:

Finding balance: Progress over Perfection

In the following years, I haven’t felt like I HAD to fill in all of the spaces. I must be getting over my perfectionism

What I’ve loved over time is that I can tweak my PowerSheets to suit my needs. They’re here to serve me, not the other way around.

Staying Focused Day After Day, Week After Week, Month After Month

You know how it goes; you can get really excited about making some big changes and focusing on goals at the beginning of the year, only to lose momentum after a month or two. You then spend the majority of the year drifting through life, until you start all over again.

To combat this tendency, the PowerSheets workbook has the tools to keep you focused on your goals all year long:

Seasonal reflection: Every three months, you can hit the “reset” button on your goals and on your life, as you monitor your long-term progress.
Monthly reflection: Before you make your plans each month, you can reflect on how the last month went. You also look at your big goals and prioritize what you want to focus on next. There’s lots of space for brain-dumping so that you can clear the clutter and let go of the things you’re worried about that won’t really matter in the long-run.
Tending list: This is a perforated sheet that you can tear out and keep wherever it’s convenient. You keep track of your progress, including monthly goals, weekly goals and daily goals that help you work towards your big goals.

This system is brilliant. It’s simple, not overwhelming, and motivating all year long.

I admit, I haven’t been a perfect student using the tending list. I sometimes go over a week without glancing at it. Nevertheless, it still keeps me a lot more focused than I would be without it.

Another cool thing about the PowerSheets workbook is that it is not a daily calendar planner.

Say what?!?

I love this because it’s versatile enough to use with the planner of your choice. I use a combination of Google Calendar and bullet journaling, and PowerSheets help me get the most out of them. (I explain my planning system more in the Ultimate Time Management Guide for Moms.)

The 2020 and 2021 editions do have month at a glance calendar pages, but to be honest I don’t refer to them much (I’d rather look at my wall calendar). But if you like to have everything in one place, those are handy.

Additional Features

Beyond the very thorough worksheets, you get several other perks with PowerSheets:

A beautiful design and stickers galore: This is not a big deal to me, but if fun and colorful aesthetics are important to you, you won’t be disappointed.
Wildcard pages: You can download customizable pages to insert into your PowerSheets, including budget pages, meal plans, grocery lists, health worksheets…you name it! I didn’t really take full advantage of these but would like to try more of them in the future.
Support community: There’s an active PowerSheets Facebook group with over 12,000 members. So if you feel stuck or unmotivated you can just pop in there for two seconds. The Cultivate What Matters team also has a lot of resources that help you get the most out of your workbook.
NEW in 2021: more robust quarterly goal planning pages. I’m thrilled with this feature, as I find that rehashing my goals quarterly helps keep me on target.

Are PowerSheets Worth It?

It’s obvious that I’m fan. But are PowerSheets a good choice for everyone?

The one-year PowerSheets workbook is not cheap, at $60 plus taxes and shipping. If your budget is tight, you may need to save up or ask for one as a gift.

To get the most out of it, you also should make a commitment to actually use it. And I’m not gonna lie; it takes time.

I personally need several hours to complete the assessment worksheets at the beginning of the workbook, and about an hour or two each month as I reflect on my progress.

PowerSheets are not for you if you’re not committed to investing time, energy and money in your personal growth. They are not magical and will not help you if you’re not willing to do the difficult work of self-examination, setting goals and following through.

If you’re the type of person who buys cool things but doesn’t use them, then you might want to think twice before ordering. Make sure you’re ready to put in the work.

PowerSheets are for you if you’re eager to live more intentionally and are committed to the investment that process takes.

Not Quite Ready for PowerSheets?

If you’re intrigued by the goal-setting process but not ready to invest, you may like the simple goal-setting workbook that you can download from my collection of free resources. This can point in the direction of living more intentionally until you’re ready to take the next step.

Leave a comment: What do you think about PowerSheets? Do you have any more questions about them?

How Moms Can Set Meaningful Goals (with Examples!)

October 8, 2020 by Gina Poirier 7 Comments

Hey friends, check it out: if you want to step up your goal-setting game, be sure to check out my new goal-setting mini-workbook in my free resource collection, which walks you through some of the strategies in this post.

Words like “goal setting” at times of year when everyone is trying to get a fresh start—like New Year’s or at the beginning of the school year—can produce mixed feelings in me.

On the one hand, I like the idea of dreaming big and making plans that produce results. Because who doesn’t like “results”? #amIright

On the other hand, I often find that goals and resolutions get forgotten within about, oh, 24 hours. Maybe a few weeks max. Many of us lack the motivation, commitment and discipline to see them through.

Furthermore, a little confession: like most humans, I am lazy. Because there is only so much space in my brain, I like to take shortcuts and rely on sheer willpower to remember and execute all the things. I would rather be on Instagram than spending time planning out my laundry strategy.

It took several years as a stay-at-home mom before I realized that I needed to be a bit more intentional with my personal goal-setting and planning. Otherwise I am wandering around my house aimlessly day-to-day—keeping the kids alive, of course, but driving myself crazy with my lack of focus.

When it comes down to it, mom life is inherently chaotic. Maybe you thrive in chaos…but chances are, if you’re reading this post, you know you could probably do better.

Personal Goal-Setting Hacks for the Lazy Mom

Photo credit: Jeremy Bishop

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Don’t just take my word for it; goal-setting is actually biblical. Let’s take a look at the big picture:

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness…For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
2 Peter 2:1 NIV, emphasis added

In other words: we have incredible gifts through the grace of God—in fact, we have everything we need to live a godly life. Cool. BUT at the same time, we’re called higher—to grow, that our faith might not stagnate.

I don’t know how all of this works, to be honest. Sometimes we just grow because when we’re pointed in the right direction (Christ), it happens naturally. I think just being a mom has made me grow as a spiritual person, whether I’ve been intentional about it or not.

But sometimes we need to stretch ourselves beyond what might “just happen.” As I read the Bible, I see over and over again a balance between God firmly guiding his flock while at the same time letting them figure out their own way.

So what does this mean for me, practically? It means that I have a lot to gain from setting goals and making plans, that I may grow as a person and in turn guide my children.

Now let me be clear: I believe God is the ultimate goal-setter, often behind the scenes. My plans don’t automatically align with his (see the necessity of prayer, below). But a quick flip through Proverbs indicates that we nonetheless have a responsibility on our end to try and make things happen. When we’re keeping our eyes on Christ, he’ll help us course-correct when needed.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and he will establish your plans.
Proverbs 16:3 NIV
In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.
Proverbs 16:9 NIV

Convinced that goal-setting and planning is worth the effort (and not just at the beginning of the year)? Here’s a very basic way to approach it. I highly recommend trying to get a couple of quiet hours to yourself if you can so that you can really focus.

1. Pray

It’s easy to want to jump into making plans, but start here first! Sitting down to pray helps me to be more reflective about where I’ve been and where I want to go.

Some questions you might want to talk to God about include:

What am I thankful for, reflecting on the past year, the past season, the past month, the past week?
What went well?
What didn’t go so well?
What are the areas I should grow in?
What should I prioritize?

It can be helpful to have a sort of focus word or theme scripture that you can go back to.

I’m going to go out on a limb here: with only a couple of exceptions like homeschooling and finances, I don’t like to focus on stuff for a whole stinkin’ year. For the more fluid areas of my life, I prefer to focus within seasons and months. So if you don’t have a “theme” for a whole year, that’s just fine. Here’s a scripture I focused on at the beginning of last year (and drifted away from after a few months 😉 ):

2. Brainstorm

I got this really fun tip from a fantastic little book from one of my favorite bloggers called Time Management Mama. Take a few moments and just dump your brain with what you want your life to look like in the coming weeks and months. You can write it out in a list, or you can map it out freehand, like a little flowchart (this is called mind mapping). Don’t think about it too hard; just write! Once you get going, you can start organizing your thoughts into different categories: home, kids, work, marriage, finances, etc.

What vision do you have for each of these categories? Write it out!

Need more guidance? It can be super-helpful to have a detailed goal-setting guide to walk you through it. Beyond my free worksheet which you can access here, I recommend PowerSheets from Lara Casey if you want beautiful worksheets that will help you cultivate your goals year-round. Grace Goals from Arabah Joy is a fantastic multi-media resource with printable goal-setting sheets as well as Bible-based video lessons.

More goodies: a couple of books I recommend that can help you cut out your time-wasters and focus on what you’re passionate about include You’re Already Amazing by Holley Gerth and Cultivate by Lara Casey.

3. Prioritize

Now this is the hard part. Narrow down your priorities. You might have 20 categories of things you want to work on. Cut and condense them to no more than about five focus areas.

Did you get a good vision for how you want to grow in those focus areas? Try to narrow each one down to a few words or a short sentence. These are your whys, which will help you as you move forward day by day, week by week.

Now identify some goals related to your focus areas. Be specific with those goals, particularly when you would like to accomplish them, but don’t force yourself to make a goal just to make one. Here are some examples of goals I’ve made recently in my focus areas for one season (about three months).

Focus Areas & Vision	Goal
Relationship with God & Personal Growth: Dig Deep	Finish 6 books in 3 months
Home Management: Order & Comfort	Declutter toys and donate next month
Church & Community: Connection	Host small group party next month
Family: Cultivate Gratitude & Generosity	Create a gratitude poster next month
Work & Finances: Peace	Make X amount per week freelancing, save X amount/month

Narrowing down your focus is soooo important, I can’t emphasize it enough. Otherwise making any real progress is just too overwhelming—and unattainable! Focus on just a couple of things, and I guarantee you’re much more likely to succeed.

4. Plan

Finally, the fun part of goal-setting you’ve been waiting for! Thinking about your goals, identify what you need to do to reach them.

There are a few ways you can approach this:

Make new habits: recently I envisioned being more Spirit-led and having a peaceful home. Two daily habits I worked on that helped me reach those goals were to have a time of personal reflection each evening, and to aim for 30 minutes of cleaning and organizing in my schedule. Over the course of a few months I worked on and adjusted those habits (remember, this process is grace-filled!).
Set up steps to reach your targets: within my big goals are smaller goals, broken down into steps. For example, to gain the financial income and savings goals I desire, I need to crunch numbers, plan some specific projects and make due dates. Little tip: start with a bigger goal, set a deadline and work backward.
Get a great planning and scheduling system! I am a visual person and find it very helpful to write everything down on paper. There are a ton of great planners out there. My current recommendation for moms is the Living Well Planner. It has time blocking, spaces for to-do lists and habit-building, planning pages, and lots of space for goal setting and reflection. Maybe a paper planner isn’t your thing, but I strongly encourage you to discover what is, and stick with it. For more options, check out these 7 goal planners to reach your goals and stay motivated.
Schedule adequate time for rest, or as I jokingly call it, “productive laziness.” I know this can be a challenge, but it is a vital part of crafting a plan that won’t leave you burned out.

5. Evaluate

Confession: when it comes to goal-setting in the past, I’ve fallen short with evaluation and follow-through. I can come up with great ideas and even a pretty detailed schedule, but I don’t take the time to reflect and evaluate my progress. Huge mistake! In order to get anywhere, it is absolutely essential to keep your goals in front of you…constantly!

That’s why recently I built a habit of taking a few minutes each day to pause and reflect. I also schedule a weekly planning time for myself, as well as space for my husband and I to communicate and plan together. Running a household and a family is not a solo activity.

In addition to my day-to-day and weekly reflection, I like to take time each month to evaluate how my larger goals are going. And, since it’s so hard to plan a whole year in advance, I do some major reevaluation and tweaking my goals about every three months or whenever there is a change of season. Those are chunks that feel much easier to manage, rather than a full twelve months.

So let me summarize that. Take a glance at your goals and plans:

Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Seasonally
And yes, even annually.

When you evaluate your progress, don’t beat yourself up. Remember, motherhood is a crazy season! If one strategy isn’t working, try something else. And be flexible. Maybe you can’t work on a particular goal this season because you have a newborn at home or there are 18,728 soccer practices to attend. No worries. Focus on loving your family and come back to it later. This is grace-filled goal-setting.

Okay then, fellow “lazy” mamas, what do you think? Do you think these exercises are reasonable and flexible enough for you to practice? This is high-level, broad goal-setting advice, but hopefully you can apply it to just about anything you want to work on. Remember, you’re worth it! And trust me, if I can do it, so can you.

Don’t forget, grab you your free mini-workbook in my free resource collection for moms.

Leave a comment: what is your biggest obstacle to setting goals and achieving them? What advice from this post do you think you can you implement to overcome it?

3 Homemaking Tips When You Feel Like You’re Failing

June 19, 2020 by Gina Poirier 1 Comment

Feel like you’re a failure at being a balanced homemaker? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one! If you want a little extra help, be sure to sign up for my free resources below!

I have a lot of formal education under my belt. But very little of it helped prepare me for how I now spend the vast majority of my time: caring for my family and running a household. In other words, being a homemaker.

I didn’t plan for this.

I didn’t study for this.

I could never have imagined any of this.

But this is my life: laundry, dishes, scheduling, crying, diapering, teaching, loving, organizing, crying some more, meal planning, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring—generally chaotic but beautiful “homemaking.”

You don’t have to be a stay-at-home parent to be a homemaker. You just have to have a family and a home. And an intentional homemaker makes a home not just an address, but a place to live. You work to make it peaceful, safe, comfortable, nurturing and welcoming.

So, having said that…I was convinced for a long time that I pretty much fail at this skill constantly.

But as it turns out, I just needed a little shift in my perspective. Mindset encompasses some of the best homemaking tips I’ve known.

3 Reasons You’re “Failing” at Homemaking

Homemaking Tips When You Feel Like a Failure

1. You set the bar too high.

I’m a recovering perfectionist, which means that every day, I have to wake up and fight to feel okay about who I am, as a homemaker and as a person.

It gets exhausting.

I remember one Saturday morning as a newlywed when I was so excited to be making my husband’s favorite breakfast: blueberry muffins. They smelled wonderful combined with the scent of bacon just starting to crisp.

But I forgot the baking powder.

He was a good sport as he mashed the rubbery concoction between his teeth. But he was also honest that it wasn’t my best work.

I burst into tears because I just couldn’t handle failing him (oh boy, just you wait, young me). And because of that one failure, a part of me felt like I would never get this wife role right.

Ten years later, I don’t cry over blueberry muffins anymore, or really anything that I accidentally destroy during the baking process. But I frequently catch myself getting upset when I screw up—I missed a payment, I forgot an appointment, I stained the carpet, I yelled at the kids…

I have to remind myself that I am not Betty Crocker, Joanna Gaines, or Jesus. And nobody expects me to be. While I have grown and will continue to grow, in the meantime, I am the best homemaker for my family simply because I am me, not because of what I do (or don’t).

2. You don’t know what you don’t know.

When you move into your first house, it’s a little bewildering when you discover all the things that can go wrong with it. Nonetheless, when our basement flooded a few years ago, I was pretty excited to do a remodeling project.

A month into it I wanted to die.

Pinterest failed me. It failed to mention how hard the work would be, and it also failed to mention how to effectively whitewash your fireplace with drippy, splattery water-paint when you generally hate painting and you have three curious and small kids popping in and out of a generally hazardous work area.

I wish sometimes that I just knew all the things. Like how to grow plants without killing them or how to breastfeed without getting mastitis with every single kid, or how to speak in awesome voices when I read aloud.

But I don’t know all the things, and neither do you, and neither does anybody. Sometimes homemakers get the idea in our heads that we have to know how to be the Proverbs 31 woman from the get-go and just exude awesomeness. When really, it’s a better use of our time and energy when we simply admit that we don’t know how to do the things. Because—you simply don’t know what you don’t know!

Once you admit that you don’t know something, you can still decide to learn it. As a newlywed my culinary expertise was limited to frozen burritos. Now I’m actually a decent cook. It took lots of practice, lots of failure and—most importantly—lots of time.

3. You don’t ask for help.

I have a lot of embarrassing newlywed stories. During our first year of marriage we were working part-time leading a campus ministry. One day, my mentor and I were chatting, and she very gently crushed my soul with these words:

“You seem like you don’t really want help because you already know the answers and don’t ask for input.”

Or something like that.

I have no recollection of how I responded. I think I was picking up the pieces of my jaw on the floor.

Sometimes the most cutting words are the true ones. I think my friend was primarily referring to how I was handling my job in ministry, but it’s an issue that has affected my whole life: I hate feeling needy and I hate asking for help.

I think it’s a rare genetic condition called…pride maybe?

Titus 2:3–5 is perhaps one of the better-known passages on mentorship/discipleship, particularly as it relates to women, but in my understanding it’s all over the book. Humans are generally dumb. Humans who are older and more experienced are generally less dumb. So maybe we younger humans should seek the older humans’ guidance.

Personally, while I enjoy the creature comforts of the modern era, one thing we really lack is the relational support our ancestors had. We’re in single-family homes, working our tails off, isolated from community, trying to hack our way through homemaking and life in general. Getting help from wise mentors takes effort and persistence.

How To Not Fail at Homemaking

I should actually stop writing here because the truth is you and I will both continue to fail at homemaking, quite spectacularly as a matter of fact. Hopefully by now you’re cool with that.

Having said that, however, you can make it a little less painful. First, find a mentor. It’s actually not that hard—it could be your mom or some lady from church who is just aching to offer her wisdom. You just have to look, and ask. And it doesn’t have to be a formal arrangement. Invite your neat freak friend over and ask her to help you clean out that weird cabinet under the kitchen island.

Second, do some study and soul-searching about what it means to be a homemaker. Don’t know where to start? The Bible is usually a good place :). Check out my Woman of Strength devotional, which you can find in my free resource collection.

Do you feel like your “failing”? Which of these homemaking tips will help you most?