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12 Signs of Mom Burnout, and What You Can Actually Do About It

November 7, 2018 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

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It was a Friday night a few weeks ago and I was T-I-R-E-D. When my husband asked how I was doing, I just gave him “the look.”

You probably know it. It’s the I-have-been-dealing-with-kids-all-week-and-you-don’t-even-know-how-exhausting-this-is-because-my-to-do-list-is-still-18-miles-long-and-my-head-hurts-and-I-would-love-to-just-escape-to-your-office-and-do-grown-up-work-for-a-change. A.k.a the “mommy burnout” look.

I knew I was in a bad place because I started to indulge in one of my fantasies. This particular one was having an 8–5 job where I could dress professionally, change the world and make a lot of money. Another one would be taking a one-way drive to…anywhere but here. By myself.

Of course, my logical brain knew that I would probably be even more stressed if I went to back to work at our current life stage and it probably wouldn’t live up to my fantasy expectations. And no family really ever benefited from the wife/mother running away.

If you’re a mom, stress and burnout are just things that you deal with. Probably more than you’d like to admit.

By the way, if you’re feeling burned out, you’re not the only one. Sign up for my limited-time video series and learn how to manage stress biblically.

Click here to learn more!

If you’re like me, you’re probably pushing yourself so hard that you don’t notice that burnout is even happening…until it’s too late. You break, sometimes with adverse side effects to your loved ones and to your health.

But here’s the thing…in my observation, while moms hate feeling this way, in American culture we tend to wear stress likes it’s a badge of honor. Like the fewer hours of sleep and self-care you get, the more superhuman points you have

(Speaking from experience. Also, hopeless articles like this and this that are so common right now.)

Yes, stress and burnout happen to the best of us. Sometimes you’re going to be under pressure and snap.

But you know what else? This doesn’t have to be our normal, mamas. I’ve spent too much time feeling anxious, depressed and resentful about my motherhood season, and that is NOT the kind of mom I want to raise my kids.

Anthony Tran

12 Signs You’re Burned Out (and That Something Needs to Change)

Having kids does weird things to you. You think you’re a happy, healthy person…but then when a little bit of pressure happens (like having children around), that pretty version of yourself starts to fall apart.

Here are a few signs that you’re burned out, as evidenced by your physical and emotional health:

Insomnia: Even when you’re exhausted, you can’t fall asleep when you go to bed because your mind won’t shut down.
Muscle tension: If you suffer from upper back, neck or shoulder pain, chances are that you’re suffering from stress tension. This can be exacerbated by a weak core, poor flexibility, or poor alignment in the spine. I’ve struggled with this kind of pain for years…and whenever it comes back, it’s like an alarm bell for me that I need to address my stress.
Headaches: If you experience tightness and pain at your forehead, or around the back of your head and neck, the tension may be caused by stress.
Skin conditions: Rashes and other outbreaks sometimes indicate that your immune system is run down and not protecting your body the way it should. I personally get a weird fungus on the palms of my hands, especially when I’m not getting enough sleep.
Frequent illnesses: If you feel like you just can’t beat the colds that are coming your way, it may be another sign that your immune system isn’t functioning as it should due to stress.
Anxiety: This is a blanket term, but if you’re suffering from severe conditions like panic attacks and a racing pulse, that’s a sign that something is very wrong! (Please see a doctor.) Even if you don’t experience the obvious physical systems, ongoing worry and anxiety will wear on you emotionally and physically.
Menstrual cycle fluctuations: When your body is in the stress response, it is essentially telling your ovaries that now is not a good time to make babies. If you’re having abnormal fluctuations, stress may be the cause.
Weight fluctuations: Stress can affect your weight in either direction, due to emotional eating, loss of appetite or poor digestion.
Digestive issues: When you’re under stress, your body will naturally be focused on tasks related to immediate survival (for our ancestors, that was often running away from danger). When this happens, the body saves energy by pulling away from less important tasks—like digesting your food properly. If you deal with a range of digestion issues, consider stress.
Moodiness and irritability: This is perhaps less extreme than some of the physical symptoms, but it may be one of the things that bother you the most. If you are unreasonably emotionally reactive to the people you love or things in your everyday life, it may be a symptom of underlying stress. Stress affects your hormones, which can cause you to be depressed and cranky.
Escapism and addiction: Do you have a bad habit that you’re having a hard time mastering? It could be anything from overeating to drug abuse to social media addiction. In times of stress, you’re going to be a lot more likely to turn to self-medicating.
Inability to focus or remember: Remember, when your body is in the stress response, your brain is focused on survival and doing what it perceives is most important. But that means that details like where you left your car keys can be forgotten.

I don’t share this list to scare you. But as you can see, there are consequences to living this way. An estimated 75-90 percent of doctor visits are related to stress-related conditions!

Not dealing with the minor symptoms now can lead to major problems down the road. Plus, no one wants to be stuck as a cranky, irrational mom. I sure don’t.

Practical Ways to Deal with Mom Burnout

(Want to learn more about managing stress, biblically and practically?
Don’t miss my limited-time video series, Take a Deep Breath.)

I already know what you’re thinking, because I think it too: being a mom is so stinking demanding. It just doesn’t seem realistic to go on a six-month sabbatical or spend an hour in meditative prayer each morning.

So what can we do?

We’re not fighting this battle alone. Jesus said that those who are beaten, broken, weary and burdened are blessed. Not because they’re tough, but because he loves them.

When we are weak, his strength can shine (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Having said that, if you’re feeling burned out as a mom, I don’t want to just give you a feel-good pat on the back. The more I’ve lived and studied and learned, the more strongly I believe that when we really look to Jesus and the wisdom of the Bible, we are fully equipped to be better wives and moms.

Stress-free? No. But made better and stronger through our trials? Yes.

I believe that mom burnout doesn’t have to be our m.o. But in order to beat it, we have to first recognize it and its consequences, and then respond with intention.

You’ve probably heard about “fight or flight” mode. You’ve probably been told that stress is bad for you and makes you sick and that you should avoid it. Maybe you even grabbed a handy but vague flyer from the doctor’s office about stress management.

However…

These things are not helpful for a mom suffering from burnout! They probably make you feel more stressed!

Here’s the deal: God designed you to respond to stress for your good. It is part of living and life. It’s the way your body responds when something you care about it is at stake.

So let me rephrase that: stress is actually good for you. The Bible doesn’t use the word “stress” the way we understand it, but it sure does refer to suffering. And suffering, while not pleasant, helps us grow.

Once you understand that, you can start processing the reality of stress in your life in healthy ways. Here are a few suggestions:

Recognize what you can and can’t control. If you took a few minutes and wrote down the things that were causing you stress, how many of them do you think are factors that you can change? My guess is very few.
Pray with focus and intention. Those things you can’t change? Submit them to the one who has the power to do anything. You might not get the outcome you want, but by relinquishing control you are taking a load off your shoulders. (See more on how to pray.)
Set priorities and boundaries. You do have control over how you spend your time and energy. Protect what’s yours. Simplify your life and learn how to manage your time.
Take your thoughts captive. Toxic thinking leads to more toxic thinking and actually harms your brain. You can change the way you think.
Practice rest and self-care. I used to think that I would rest after my kids got older. While being a mom is demanding, I still have a responsibility to take care of these limited resources called my body and my mind. Sabbath rest was instituted in the Bible from the first chapter. We’re not exempt just because we’re busy.
Lean on your support system. Human beings were created to live in community, yet so many of us are trying to raise our families in isolation. I know it’s hard, but recognize your limits and ask for support—whether it’s from your husband, your family or the neighbor you don’t know very well. And if you don’t know whom to ask (because I’ve been there), then that is the first thing you can start praying about.

Fortunately for the innocent bystanders in my household, I’ve had enough mom burnout moments that I’ve learned how to recover quickly. Over that weekend I was able to take time to recharge and strategize about how to not be psycho wife. And for the most part, it worked.

Mom burnout happens, but I believe that when you recognize your limits and manage your stress response prayerfully, it doesn’t have to be the norm.

Want to learn more about managing stress, biblically and practically? Don’t miss my limited-time video series, Take a Deep Breath.

Do you think you might be suffering from mom burnout? What are you going to do about it?

10 Bible Verses for the Stressed Out Mama

October 19, 2018 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

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Are you a stressed out mom looking for encouragement? While the Bible doesn’t talk about “stress” explicitly in the way we think of it, there is nonetheless quite a lot the Scriptures say about how to respond. I hope these verses help!

Rachel Lynette French

When my daughter was about 6 months old, I remember one day when I was carrying her on my hip. I had my phone balanced between my ear and my shoulder and was trying to sort laundry while I talked, while my 2- and 4-year-old boys were wreaking having who-knows-where in our admittedly cluttered house.

And then it happened.

My back didn’t exactly give out, but it started throbbing painfully near the shoulders. I thought perhaps I had pulled a muscle and was forced to rest.

I felt useless. I could hardly lift my infant daughter, nor could I carry out some of my daily responsibilities like cooking and cleaning. After a few days, I decided to get some help.

But after many months and appointments with a physician, chiropractors, physical therapists and massage therapists, it didn’t get much better.

It was frustrating to discover that this was a chronic problem. It seemed like it would never go away.

There were a few physical changes I made that helped, including getting serious about strength training and working on my flexibility. But it wasn’t until I started taking a look at my emotional state that things really started to get better.

I was stressed out. Constantly.

My hands were full in every sense of the word. In addition to my responsibilities as a mom of three young kids, I was taking on my than I could handle with work and volunteer opportunities. I was also lonely and grieving loss—my two closest friends and my sister moved away within a couple years of each other. And deep down, I was resenting my role in motherhood.

I thought that breaking down crying once a week or so was the norm. (It’s not.)

I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. And I think it broke them.

Unhealthy stress does weird things to our bodies. For me, it manifested in painful knots in my upper back. For others, it can reveal itself in panic attacks, rashes, insomnia, high blood pressure, cysts…In fact, if anything strange is happening to you, you might want to consider stress as a cause.

Now, 5 years later, I can say I rarely have my telltale back pain. I’ve learned a ton about managing stress biblically, and I’m passionate about sharing it.

I know that many of my readers love my Mama Verses scripture lists, so it made sense to put one together on stress.

While I completely believe in the power of the Word of God to transform our hearts, these verses for stressed out moms are just the beginning. If you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired from the stress in your life, I encourage you to sign up for my email list so you can check out my video series, Take a Deep Breath.

Click here to learn more!

On Understanding Stress

While the Bible doesn’t talk about “stress” explicitly, do you know what it does talk about? Suffering. Stress is our biological response to the things we care about that happen in our lives. In other words, stress is our natural response to suffering.

Keep that in mind with the following verses:

James 1:2–4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I think it’s important to consider that stress is not all bad. It helps us grow and mature through our trials. You’re not going to avoid it. So embrace it.

Romans 5:3–5

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

The same sentiment is here. (By the way, if you’ve seen any of my other Bible verse lists, you might notice there are some repeats here! They mean that much to me!)

On Surrendering What We Can’t Control

When I think about the things that cause stress, many of them are out of my control! No matter how much I put my worry and anxiety on repeat in my mind, there’s nothing I can actually do about them.

That’s why one of the critical healthy responses to stress is learning how to give to God what is God’s.

1 Peter 5:7

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.

Short, sweet and simple, right? Sort of…because this is easier said than done. When I think of the word “casting,” I think of my boys trying to cast their fishing lines. This is a skill that takes lots and lots of practice. But you’ll never get it if you don’t keep trying.

Matthew 6:25–27

‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?’

Many of us know these words of Jesus so well, and yet we need to be reminded again and again. Again, surrendering our worries and anxieties takes lifelong practice.

Philippians 4:4–7

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

There are a few more practical tools here that go hand in hand with casting our anxieties on the Lord: practicing gratitude. Rejoicing. Lots and lots of prayer. These are the disciplines that bring the peace that transcends understanding.

On Taking Action

Surrendering our fears and worries to God is one part of the equation, but we also have a responsibility to take action for the things we can control.

Deuteronomy 30:19–20

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

At the end of his life, Moses reminded God’s people that they had choices in life. Whatever happened, they could choose to love God, listen to him and follow his commands, or not.

Whatever our circumstances, we are presented with the same choice. Even under stress, we can choose to grow and to learn and walk the hard path that God’s way often is, or we can succumb to fear and victimhood.

What this looks like practically can vary quite a bit. Personally, in response to my own stressors, I’ve had to be more intentional about the way I spend my time. I’ve had to choose rest over productivity. I’ve had to reach out for help when I was lonely. God did his part, so I had to try to do mine.

1 Corinthians 10:5

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Sometimes my feelings of stress are a result of my own negative thoughts that aren’t true! With the Holy Spirit’s help, we have the ability to change the way we think. It’s a process we participate in actively, by identifying the thoughts that aren’t true and replacing them with the word of God.

On Seeing the Big Picture

Lastly, it helps me to remember that there’s typically more going on spiritually than I am aware of.

1 Peter 5:8–9

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

The apostle Peter reminds us not to be off guard. It’s so easy to forget in the midst of our stress that we have a lion-like enemy out there, who is trying to exploit our weaknesses. The call is to recognize him, and resist him.

John 16:33

‘In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’

Jesus said this to prepare his disciples for the suffering and stress they would have to endure. For me it’s a great reminder to step back and look at the big picture. In light of eternity and the power of the cross, we can take heart.

Ephesians 6:10–17

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

I’ll leave you with Paul’s appeal to hang in there and keep fighting, through it all. You’ve got this, because you have a great God who is fighting for you, my friend.

There’s so much more I have to say about dealing with stress in a biblical way! If this post stirs you, be sure to sign up for my email list so you can catch my popular video series, Take a Deep Breath.

Are you dealing with stress as a mom? Which of these Bible verses (or others) are the most helpful to you?

Looking for Things to Pray for? Try This List

October 12, 2018 by Gina Poirier 5 Comments

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Wondering what to say when you sit down to pray? Here are some of my best tips and things to pray for in any season, even when you’re a bit distracted or overwhelmed…

Do you ever feel like you’re missing something when it comes to prayer? I don’t know about you, but it seems like everybody seems to do it a lot more naturally than I do.

You probably relate if you sit down to pray and about five seconds later your mind wanders because:

1. Life is distracting.

You get up early, enjoying the peace of the morning. You intend to get out of bed and spend those precious quiet moments in prayer.

You start saying, “God…thank you for today.”

And then you start actually thinking about today. Your mind starts racing as you’re walking through the morning mentally.

You feel guilty: ”Sorry, God, uhhhh…”

But before you know it, the kids are up, and you’re on the move. God will have to wait…maybe until tomorrow.

2. You’re overwhelmed.

Your heart is heavy; you know you want to reach out to God. Maybe you have a quiet moment; maybe there is chaos surrounding you. Either way, you don’t even know what to say or how to start. Then distractions set in…you never really get back around to addressing that weight on your heart.

3. You don’t know what to say.

You’re in a prayer or Bible study group. You listen nervously as others offer up their prayers, but you’re not really paying that close of attention because you’re trying to figure out what in the world to say when it’s your turn. When it’s time to open your mouth, you freeze, or you say something that sounds sort of religious so you can pass the baton on to the next person.

Friend, you’re not alone. I’ve had so many women talk to me about how this is their story.

And to make matters worse, it’s really easy to feel guilty about it.

But here’s the truth: we all start somewhere, and we all have something to learn. We are spiritual beings so prayer is natural; yet it is not necessarily something we just know how to do.

If prayer is your struggle, don’t feel bad about it! I found it helpful to study some of Jesus’ fundamental teachings on the subject (he had quite a lot to say!), which I put together in a printable journal called Teach Me to Pray, which you can get below:

Beyond that, I’ve put together a list of prompts and things to pray forfor when your mind is simply drawing a blank. They’re divided into categories based on different types of prayer. I’ve included some scriptures for reference.

Things To Pray for (Even When You’re Distracted, Overwhelmed and Don’t Know What To Say)

Reflective Prayers

In English, when we think of the word “prayer,” we often associate it with presenting requests to God and asking him for help. While that’s not wrong (as we’ll explore below), it’s not the whole story. In Hebrew, the word for prayer, hitpallel, comes from a verb that means “to judge oneself.” Keep that in mind when you read through the Psalms! Prayer can be a time to reflect on your heart and talk about it with God.

Confession of your sins (1 John 1:9)
Asking for forgiveness (Matthew 6:12)
Asking for a pure heart (Psalm 51:10)
Your honest feelings about your circumstances (including anger, despair, hopelessness and more). For a helpful study, read Lamentations. You don’t have to be happy-go-lucky all the time to be close to God.

Prayers of Praise

Sometimes it does the heart good to simply praise God. You could spend the rest of your life just praying many of the Psalms (try it!). Whether you’re praying the Psalms or just coming up with your own praise, you can think about:

His love for you (Psalm 52:8)
His goodness (Psalm 145:7)
His holiness (Psalm 29:2)
What he’s done in your life and others’ (Psalm 9:1)
His Word (Psalm 119)
His creation (Psalm 19)

Prayers of Thanksgiving

Gratitude is scientifically proven to have multiple psychological benefits. No wonder the Bible tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18). You can be thankful about virtually anything, but here are some ideas:

Your relationships
The community you live in
Your work (Colossians 3:23)
Your freedom
Things that make you smile or laugh (Psalm 68:3)
Forgiveness (Romans 7:25)
Your trials (yes really—because they’re strengthening and refining you James 1:2–4)

Requests

I don’t know about you, but I’ve made some pretty silly prayer requests. But Jesus does say, “Just ask!” (see Matthew 7:7–12). It usually isn’t hard to come up with requests, but just in case you need some prompting:

Things you’re worried or anxious about (Matthew 6:25–34, Philippians 4:6)
Your basic needs (Matthew 6:11)
Your craziest dreams (Mark 11:23)
To increase your faith (Luke 17:5)
Wisdom (James 1:5)
Spiritual strength (Ephesians 6:10–17)

Prayers About the Kingdom of God

The Lord’s Prayer says “Your kingdom come, your will be done.” There are a lot of ways to pray about that! Consider praying about:

Your government and leaders (Romans 13:1–6)
Church leaders (Hebrews 13:7)
Worldwide and local missions (Ephesians 6:18–20)
Social injustice (racism, poverty, etc)
The impoverished and suffering
The persecuted
The church and/or ministries you are a part of

Prayers for People in Your Life

This might be the easiest thing to pray for, but sometimes it’s also easy to forget! I recommend making your own list, but here are some ideas to get your started:

Your spouse and your marriage relationship
Your kids (their faith, their trials, their education, their relationships…)
Your parents
Friends who are believers, near and far
Friends who are not believers
Coworkers
Neighbors
Siblings
Your local community

I feel like I need to get busy!

If you found these tips helpful, you might also like my printable prayer journal, Teach Me to Pray, which walks you through four weeks of biblical prayer prompts.

Do you struggle finding things to pray for? What changes can you make to you daily routine to have a more powerful prayer life?

How to Read the Bible When You Feel Stuck

October 4, 2018 by Gina Poirier 2 Comments

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Are you someone who knows you “should” read the Bible more, but whenever you try, you feel stuck, confused, unmotivated and discouraged?

Well, don’t feel too bad. I’ve been there. Many times.

Can I just be honest? The Bible is hard to read.

The poetry is difficult to understand. The cultural references go over my head. The repetitive nature of the Old Testament doesn’t exactly make beach reading. Don’t even get me started on “apocryphal writing.”

What’s more, it can be hard to know where to start, or even to want to start, when dealing with heavy emotions like grief, fear, disappoint or anger.

I’ll say it again: the Bible is hard to read. I don’t know that many Christians are totally honest about this, because we feel guilty saying it. So we don’t talk about it…and when it comes to really understanding it, many of us get stuck.

For those of you who are going to argue with me, I do think that the gospel message is quite simple and doesn’t require a theology degree. Furthermore, I don’t think that it’s ever wasted time to read the Bible, even when you don’t fully understand what it’s saying (see Isaiah 55:10–11 and Romans 10:17).

But if I’m going to “live on every word” as Jesus did (Matthew 4:4), I have to do more than read a verse, scratch my head, stare off into space, and then see if there is something more interesting on Facebook happening at the moment. (Speaking from experience, folks.)

Personally, I’ve found it immensely helpful and freeing to have the right tools for discovering the Bible for myself. Over the past couple of years I’ve expanded my repertoire in spiritual disciplines quite a bit, and I’m eager to share what has helped me. So, if you’re ever stuck when trying to read the Bible, I hope they’re as useful to you.

Sarah Noltner

Disclosure: this post may contain affiliate links, which won’t change your price but will share some commission. See here for more information.

Consider More Than Just Reading

When I think about reading a book, I imagine myself sitting in a comfy chair during my free time with a cup of tea, starting at the front cover, and reading each page in order until I’m done (if the kids will let me, but that’s another story). A good book will keep me engaged with an interesting plot and descriptive writing if it’s fiction, or thought-provoking insights and sound arguments if it’s non-fiction.

But the Bible does not work like that. If I were to assess it by my modern tastes and preferences for entertainment, it is not a “good book.” (I know. Call me a heretic and cast me out.)

If you’ve ever tried to read the Bible cover to cover, did you stall at all? Maybe you even tried various methods, like reading through it in various chunks over the course of a year, or going through it chronologically.

I’ve done those things, and I actually do recommend going through the whole Bible periodically so you can gain familiarity with the whole text. But honestly? If all you do aspire to do is check off Bible reading plans (if you can even get through them), you might be missing out.

Consider Psalm 119:10–16:

I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
Praise be to you, Lord;
teach me your decrees.
With my lips I recount
all the laws that come from your mouth.
I rejoice in following your statutes
as one rejoices in great riches.
I meditate on your precepts
and consider your ways.
I delight in your decrees;
I will not neglect your word.

That doesn’t sounds like someone who is simply reading words and then checking off the reading assignment for the day. He is consuming them, meditating on them, rejoicing them, memorizing them, internalizing them.

I used to think that I’d had a good “quiet time” after I had read the Bible and prayed. Check and check. I like checks in boxes. But what does it mean to “read” the Bible anyway, aside from just getting through the text in your reading plan? It turns out, there’s a lot more to it!

I found this article helpful: Bible Reading Plans Vs. Bible Study.

Get a Fresh Perspective

When you hear the same things over and over again, they can start to have a mind-numbing effect. This can especially be true with stories you heard as a kid that read more like lullabies than life-changing truth.

A fresh perspective on the Bible can snap you out of the lullaby effect. A good Bible teacher will help you reconsider what you’ve read a million times, ask the hard questions and help you gain a new understanding. You’ll be eager to dig into the Scriptures further on your own after considering the teaching, as the Bereans did after they met the apostle Paul in Acts 17:11.

Personally, the BEMA Discipleship podcast has done this for me. It presents narrative of the Bible from a perspective I haven’t considered much: a Jewish one.

It’s easy to forget that the writers of the Bible were addressing an ancient Jewish audience—Jesus and his disciples included. Most of us read the Bible from a modern, Western perspective—not to mention translated into a different language—so that we miss so much of what scripture is actually saying (and not saying).

In the podcast, Marty Solomon explores what Jewish rabbis teach about the Scriptures, from creation up through the New Testament. I was shocked at how much I didn’t know, even after I’ve been studying the Bible for years.

It’s quite humbling.

(Fun fact: my husband and I enjoy the podcast so much that we reached out to Marty and his cohost Brent and got to grab lunch with them when we were traveling through their area on vacation.)

Even if BEMA doesn’t do it for you, go on the hunt for a great teacher who makes you think, especially if you’re stuck when it comes to reading the Bible. Maybe it’s a theologian or apologist. Maybe it’s someone you know personally who has a lot of knowledge and can guide you. If you don’t know who it is, I encourage you to pray that God will lead you to someone.

Discover the Bible with Spiritual Disciplines

Did you know that there are endless ways you can dig into the Bible besides just, well, reading it? There’s a newer-to-me concept called “spiritual disciplines,” which are basically ways that you strengthen your spiritual muscles with daily diligence. If you’re reading feels a bit stale and you’re feeling stuck, trying one of these is a great way to freshen up your quiet times:

Memorizing Scripture: This practice was pretty standard if you were raised in a Jewish household during Jesus’ time. Memorizing long passages of scripture is an ancient practice that has been practiced less and less as the Bible has become more accessible (i.e. we’ve become lazy).

You have to be intentional about on a daily basis if you are going to make any serious progress. I’ll be honest: I’ve tried with minimal success to memorize verses on notecards, but I always lose momentum.

Currently I’m taking a different approach. Instead of picking short passages, I’m simply working through books of the Bible. Right now I’m in Proverbs, memorizing one section at a time. Once I’ve memorized a section, I move on to the next one—I might not be able to quote the whole thing from memory a year from now, but I’ll certainly have a lot of it internalized!

Copying scripture: I don’t know why I didn’t discover this idea years ago, but I love it now! You don’t need anything special to make this work; just spend a few minutes copying a passage onto paper. By writing it, you’ll spend a lot more time processing it and internalizing the message. (Writing can also be a part of your memorization process.)

While I think there’s value in writing through larger portions of scripture, I’ve also enjoyed using my Write the Word journals if I just need some quick ideas about where to start. If you’re ever drawing a blank or are stuck, just open up your next entry and start writing!

Praying through scripture: Who ever said praying and Bible reading had to be two separate practices? I’ve found that I’ve been able to get a lot more out of both by engaging my heart and mind in prayer while reading a passage.

The Psalms are some of the more natural places to start when looking for inspiration in your prayer life. Either read them and pray them as they’re written, or expound on them in your own words, either aloud or in a journal. I walk through the Psalms for an entire week in the Teach Me to Pray Journal if you want more guidance.

Sometimes you may want to pray through a particular topic. I recently went through Praying the Promises of the Cross by Arabah Joy, which gives you a verse a day to pray through, based on the promises God offers throughout the Bible. This is helpful because it has prayer prompts that will teach you how to do this.

Journaling Scripture: The possibilities are endless when it comes to putting pen to paper. Simply by copying down scripture and already praying through it, as described above, you can dig into your Bible pretty deeply. Beyond that, I’ve found it helpful to write my responses to certain passages, look up words and concepts, and map out themes. While it may sound intimidating to start, practicing the habit of keeping a journal open whenever you read can prompt you. You might even like a journaling Bible, which you can use to write in the margins or to do artistic Bible journaling in.

Meditating on Scripture:The word “meditate” is instructed multiple times throughout the Bible, and it means to think deeply about the text. This practice can feel a bit uncomfortable if you’re not used to it, but I’ve found it worth the effort.

Pick a short passage and let it sit in your mind as you either read it a few times, copy it, or repeat it. Relax your mind and body. Let its meaning sink in for a few minutes and ask God for guidance. Don’t worry if you lose focus or aren’t sure if you’re doing it right. Try it a few times and see what moves your spirit.

Dig Deeper Through Bible Study Methods

If you’re still not sure how to approach Bible reading, having someone coach you through techniques can be very helpful. Awhile back I came across in a class called Bible Study Methods, taught by one of my favorite Christian bloggers, Arabah Joy. In it she outlines the following:

Verse mapping: This simple system involves writing a passage of scripture, making observations about the text, studying words and context and concluding with a personal application.

Word study: This method zooms in to look at the origin, meaning and uses of a particular word in scripture. The goal is to learn as thoroughly as possible a writer’s original intent by the word he used.

“APPLE” method: For any passage of scripture, look for these components: Attributes of God’s character, Promises from God, Principles for living, Lesson learned and Example to follow.

Topical study: Take a look at God’s word on any given topic. This method considers every scripture related to your topic in order to gain God’s perspective, instruction, revelation ad understanding, as well as a personal application.

“TASTE” method: When looking at a passage of scripture, follow these steps: Talk to God before reading, Ask him to speak, read the Scripture, Take two minutes to listen quietly and Explore the passage.

Lectio Divina: This phrase is Latin for “divine reading” and simply involves combining scripture reading with prayer and meditation. This devotional method of studying the scriptures has been used by Christians for centuries.

Chapter summary: This method is a way of understanding the contents of a chapter of scripture and involves reading through the chapter multiple times, asking a series of questions and summarizing your discoveries.

Learn More

This is a course I’ve enjoyed going through a couple of times to refresh my understanding and get new ideas about how to study my Bible better. I’ve enjoyed verse mapping and word study the most, but have tried them all.

And if you want to dig deeper like this but don’t even know what passages to start with I’ve got multiple scripture lists I lovingly call “mama verses” that you can download for free in my collection of free resources for email subscribers. I compiled them based on different emotions and experiences most moms go through at one time or another.

Are You Stuck Reading the Bible Because You Don’t Have Much Time?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been frustrated with spending my time in God’s word because I was interrupted, or I was too tired to focus. If you’re in a season (like being a mom of little kids) when you don’t have as much time, don’t let that discourage you from doing what you can.

In my experience, a grace-filled “do what you can, when you can” approach has been very helpful. Some daily practices like scripture meditation, journaling and memorization can be done in five minutes or less. My husband and I have also enjoyed the BEMA podcast because it’s easy to listen to while commuting, working out or doing housework.

As much as possible, make your Bible reading a routine, whether that’s when you first wake up, at lunch, before bed or while your kids are eating breakfast. If you feel like you can’t get enough in one sitting, break it up! Currently I spend about fifteen minutes journaling, praying and memorizing scripture before listening to BEMA or another educational podcast or class while working out. I’m also a fan of spending time with God as a family, so we do prayers and family devotionals at different points in the day and week.

If your current routine isn’t working, try something else. What works now might be different than what you did a year ago, and it will continue to evolve.

I hope you’ve found some of my recent journeys into the Bible helpful in your own studies and discovery. If you’re a mom who is looking to strengthen your relationship with God in the chaos of everyday life, be sure to check out loads of resources I offer!

Your turn: do you ever get stuck reading the Bible? Which of these tips would you like to try, or what’s worked for you?

What to Do When You Feel Like “Just Roommates” in Marriage

August 28, 2018 by Gina Poirier Leave a Comment

TAKE BACK MOTHERHOOD

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“We’re like two ships passing in the night…”

It’s a phrase I hear surprisingly often when couples are talking about their interactions with one another.

In other words, you coexist around each other. When it comes down to it, there’s not much space or even desire for intimacy. You’re not “in the mood.”

Does it describe your marriage?

Tracey Hocking

It’s easy to coexist when you life is full, whether with babies and sleep deprivation or older kids and their accompanying activity schedules. You and your spouse might even make a pretty good team. But what about not too far down the road (it’s really not), when your kids are grown, and it’s just you and your man, night after night? The divorce rate for empty nesters has been rising steadily.

Some marriages don’t even make it to the empty nest stage. When partners aren’t getting their intimacy needs met within the marriage, it becomes all the more natural to slip into infidelity. Yes, even in Christian marriages—I’ll bet you can name a few yourself.

This is why it’s a strong conviction of mine and my husband’s to fight for our marriage — even when we’re busy and exhausted.

If you’re getting a little nervous about where your marriage is or where it’s headed, don’t worry. It’s never too late to change course and work towards intimacy.

If you’re not okay with being “just roommates,” there are two things you must work on constantly in your marriage relationship.

Continue reading this post by clicking over to Equipping Godly Women: When You and Your Husband Feel More Like Roommates Than Lovers

12 Signs You’re Burned Out (and That Something Needs to Change)

Practical Ways to Deal with Mom Burnout

Do you think you might be suffering from mom burnout? What are you going to do about it?

On Understanding Stress

On Surrendering What We Can’t Control

On Taking Action

On Seeing the Big Picture

Are you dealing with stress as a mom? Which of these Bible verses (or others) are the most helpful to you?

Things To Pray for (Even When You’re Distracted, Overwhelmed and Don’t Know What To Say)

Reflective Prayers

Prayers of Praise

Prayers of Thanksgiving

Requests

Prayers About the Kingdom of God

Prayers for People in Your Life

Do you struggle finding things to pray for? What changes can you make to you daily routine to have a more powerful prayer life?

Consider More Than Just Reading

Get a Fresh Perspective

Discover the Bible with Spiritual Disciplines

Dig Deeper Through Bible Study Methods

Are You Stuck Reading the Bible Because You Don’t Have Much Time?

Your turn: do you ever get stuck reading the Bible? Which of these tips would you like to try, or what’s worked for you?

Leave a comment: How is your marriage lately? Think you could spice it up with these tips?